Friday, December 25, 2015

A Christmas I Hope Never To Forget

I had really thought I was done posting for today but then the sky did this. And I wanted to talk about some of the presents I got this year because they are so deeply beautiful. And I also wanted to say that it's been, for me, the most peaceful Christmas I have experienced in many, many years. This is nothing short of a miracle for me. I usually spend Christmas afternoon weeping and being filled with anger and sadness. I mean, that's just the way it generally is. That has gotten better lately but this year is the first year that, to be frank, I did not have one suicidal thought.
That's sort of huge, isn't it?

But it is true. It's just been a gentle and good day and there were a few moments today when I did feel a small but true sense of joy. Several of these came when I was in Lily's house and a song came on from the Christmas play list that Hank had made which gave me pause and brought tears to my eyes. John and Yoko singing "Happy Christmas (War Is Over If You Want It)," Bruce Springsteen singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," Aaron Neville, B.B. King.

And when Vergil said, "This family is brutal about fighting for babies," as Glen and Hank and I all held out our arms for August. And watching Gibson playing with that toy, making up his own Gibson story that the figures were acting out. And watching Owen go into complete ecstasy as he opened each present, declaring that it was exactly what he wanted. And lying on Lily's bed with her and August as they napped, the baby inside of Lily cuddled up next to her cousin who baby-snored gently in Lily's arms.

And the presents. I said the other day that no present is perfect, no present can express our love as perfectly as we would wish it could, but hey- the presents I got this year came too close to disproving that not to mention.

The baby feet plaque that Jessie made for us.

It is hung now, directly under some door-frame angel babies and star lights that stay up all year round here. As will that sweet proof of how small August's feet once were.

The picture Lily gave us of Owen and Gibson right after they'd moved into their new house, Owen's stuffed white snowy owl perched on his arm. And the boys helped decorate the picture with glitter.

Their exuberance, their delight in their new family kingdom. Which continues. When Owen found out that he got a trampoline today, he said, "This yard is a great yard to have a trampoline in!"

And this.

May made me and her sisters beautiful necklaces, each with different jewels, but all with tiny blank books that she found online at a dollhouse furnishing site. How precious! How gorgeous! How thoughtful. How perfect. We can wear the books of our lives, to fill in the pages as we would wish.
I was gobsmacked.

And this.

Hank has a friend who makes jewelry and very, very small precious things from the parts of old watches and typewriters. He traded a typewriter (Hank has many, many typewriters and as he said, he may not have a lot of money but he is rich in love and in typewriters) for this necklace charm for me. I am thrilled and it is on a silver chain around my neck with my May book necklace right now.
And this is what he gave to Mr. Moon.

A little bitty man, perched on his butt and his feet, perfectly balanced with a fish on the line. I have taken custody of it to sit on a miniature bottle that Bethany Mott sent me a long time ago on my shelf of treasures above my kitchen sink where I will see it twenty times a day. It delights me and my husband too.

I swear to you- nothing in the world, not precious jewels of immense cost or expensive electronic devices or anything I could imagine could please me as much as these presents do.
And Mr. Moon and I gave each other simple things this year. Candy and rum and shirts and jig saw puzzles and a beautiful wooden spoon and my favorite espresso and things like that.
We exchanged our presents when we got home and we laughed and we kissed and then I made phone calls to people I love and now I'm going to make some ham and corn chowder.

And look who's still alive.

But I fear not for long. She hasn't visited her food bowl in days and when I took her some food out where she was lying she sniffed it, and then darted back under the old shed.

Well. Another Christmas. And it simply could not have been better, even if we have been using the air conditioner, even if the mosquitoes are torments, even if I couldn't wear red velvet. That red garment I was wearing last night in those pictures was made of silk and I got it at the Thomasville Goodwill and I wore it again today.
Red velvet, red silk.
Jewelry made by hand. Children's delight. A baby's chortles. A love for whom I am going to make soup. A sunset like fire in the sky. A new baby coming so very soon. A granddaughter.
A peaceful Christmas without pain.

Again I say- I could not, would not, ask for more. And quite frankly, I am astonished at it all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Hey, in case anyone is curious, Lindsey's etsy can be found here: and she does very cool small things.

    It was a great Christmas, huh?

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  3. That Hank- Thank you, sweetie! I edited my post to include that link. Just completely charming work that Lindsey does. Yes! What a great Christmas!

  4. This makes me so happy. It IS huge to have a Christmas without sadness, and I'm so glad you have.

    And I love that jewelry!

  5. Ramona- You too, will one day have a Christmas which is nothing more than a sweet day. I promise you. Hang in for that.

  6. Sounds like a terrific day -- and you all got (and gave) excellent gifts.

  7. I am so happy that the black dog of depression and anxiety left you alone this Xmas. Love surrounded you in the form of your family and a joyful Xmas celebration. So glad to hear this xx

  8. Steve Reed- And I didn't even mention the pocket knife I asked for and which Mr. Moon got me. My grandfather always said that we all need a good pocket knife. And now I have one. I am most pleased.

    Leisha- Thank you, darling! I am rather amazed. And so very pleased.

  9. Seething at the godammed blogstapo! Wrote a long post.............Don't start me on the on the ridiculous bloody thing! So a shorter note. I am so glad you had such a day such gifts non ot the traditional misery. I am delighted for you. As I said I hare xmas and Rob at work. Decided to sleep through it so stayed in bed all day. As I said yesterday I watched your story Call the Midwife and Downton Abbey. Yours was the best and the only one that made me cry. The Midwife was good and great news is another series starts in Jan. Downton was good but last ever episode. Still they are repeating all from ep 1 starting in Jan. Thanks so much for sharing your fascinating life and awesome family with us. Maggi. I swear if that blasted thing crosses me again I will break glass things!!!

  10. Right sorry for grammer spelling and general inchoherence of above. First one was much nicer. I have tried the other things you said but have made it all even worse! I wish I had gin I would follow your idea and sit on step in my vest drinking it out of bottle ranting if I had. xxx

  11. I am so happy you had this lovely day, Mary Moon. I wish you many more.

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  13. the best best. simple and full of love. how can anyone want more?

  14. Beautiful to read. So beautiful. The joy in the last few posts makes my heart happy.

  15. It sounds like perfection. Despite all the goings on in this part of the world and in my own household, it was a surprisingly peaceful Christmas. Amen to all of that!

  16. And I'm so partial to small things, so I'm going to check out that Etsy link. Thanks!

  17. It sounds like a great day to me. Peaceful without thoughts of suicide and with no crying. An awesome day indeed.

  18. Oh my gosh, reading all through your posts, smiling and happy and then there's my name! I have a little fisherman guy similar to him that I love. I love that he's on the mini creamer I got at the antique shop. Sweet. Those gifts are all fabulous. I love your life and your writing and your spirit. You always always cheer me and give me hope. Thank you!

  19. Bethany- You have such a cozy place in my heart. Always.


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