Monday, December 19, 2011
So my advice to you tonight is to go to the local CVS and buy a string of changing-color star lights. I've had a string up in my kitchen, plugged in continuously for a year. They are still lit and changing color but I went and bought a new string today for when those someday fail.
See? Here I am, being helpful as shit.
I went and got my hair trimmed and had a very nice chat with Jesse, the woman who does the trimming. She's such a nice woman. And it's such a Steel Magnolias sort of place. If it's not her kids who are coming in to talk to her, it's one of her dogs who is peeking around the corner to see if anyone wants to give them a pat and a scratch. You can't beat that. I don't even know if my hair looks good. I haven't even really looked. I hate looking in the mirror, especially at the hair salon. I have the roundest face. It is quite like the moon, in fact- that round. I try to accept that as "my" beauty but it's hard. I don't know why.
I do like my lips, though. I have nice lips.
My nose? Never have liked that. Eyes are fine but hidden behind glasses. I keep thinking about the possibility of getting my eyes fixed next February and it seems like a sort of miracle. No, not a "sort" of miracle- a real one. Not because of the vanity of not having my eyes hidden but because I have no idea what it's like to wake up and to be able to see. No idea what it's like to not view the world through glasses or contacts. I know I'm not alone in this by any means. When I made up my mind to go ahead and make the appointment to see if I was a candidate, I read a letter to the editor in the local paper a few days later and it was written by an eighty-year old man who'd always had horrible eye problems and when he finally went to get his cataracts removed, the doctor was able to do the laser surgery on him to correct his vision as well and he was blown away. Eighty-years old and he was so grateful and amazed that he wrote a letter to the editor of the paper about it.
Can you imagine?
I'm hoping I'll be able to imagine. I'm hoping.
Well, my husband is home. He called me awhile back. Okay, he had Siri call me. Is that her name? He just got his new G4S phone and he's pretty excited. My phone may or may not be in before we leave. Whatever. Does Siri speak Spanish? Does she translate? Does she do foot massages? I feel like I have a new sister-wife. Siri. Well, that's fine with me. I can use all the help I can get around here. As long as she doesn't get into bed with us, I'm cool.
Do you ever think about the fact that there is no phone book for cell numbers?
Owen's coming tomorrow in the very early morning again. I am looking forward to snuggling back into bed with him and his Bop. I hope he's in a happy mood.
All right. Go to the CVS. Get you some star lights. You will not regret it. And if you wait until after Christmas, they'll probably be half off.
God. I'm like Siri of the blog world.
Not really. I doubt Siri EVER says, "I don't know shit."
Because in fact, she knows everything, as far as I can tell.
Siri- what is the meaning of life?
Don't mean shit.
Oh wait. That's Mr. Natural. I got them confused for a second there.
I can't believe I've lived long enough to know who both Mr. Natural AND Siri are.
And yet I have. With my round moon face, my changing-color-light stars.
Ms. Moon- what is the meaning of life? To love one another and to create.
That's what I know.
And that it's time to warm up soup and make a salad.
Let's get some sleep tonight, y'all. I mean it.