Monday, December 12, 2011

I Am Grateful For A Woman's Heart

I went to Kathleen's house today. She is home from helping midwife a friend into death and taking care of that woman's husband as he is not only going through such grief but also back surgery and so much pain. Kathleen has had to bear witness to too much pain and suffering in the past few years and she is weary of it. She is weary from it too.

I had to go over, you know, because sometimes there is nothing else that can be done but to go see someone and hug them and let them know that you are alive, you are here, there is still life on Planet Earth. I wish I'd had a bouquet of gorgeous flowers to take her but I didn't and so I took a plastic bag full of salad greens, all washed and ready to go. Her dogs have eaten all of her greens and so she has none at the moment.

She looked tiny and frail but her hug was strong and then Judy came over too and we sat in Kathleen's house and watched her measure and weigh and simmer and mix- her soap-making routine. I didn't help a bit. I just watched and kept out of her way and so did Judy and by the time I realized it was getting dark, we had all laughed a lot and talked about everything from death to taxes, quite literally, with a bit of birth thrown in and, okay, sex as well.

I guess that when Kathleen and Judy and I get together, we are something of a cackling coven.

Works for me.

Works for me.

As much as I would like to say that I went over there for Kathleen, I know that being with those two women was more comforting to me than I can even admit. Just sitting there and talking and being able to say whatever outrageous thing I want to say and to have that accepted and even laughed at- well, that's good. That's acceptance. That's love.
We are three such very different women but we have seen each others souls and we approve.
I feel gifted by the afternoon. I feel so lucky.

Judy and I left her with her gentle giant dog Harry with his paws around the untouchable cat Marina, with her boy-dog Bob, her baby clown girl-dog Edna and a bunch of cats whose names I honestly can never remember. She has good company, Kathleen does, in her little house with the blooming Flame Vine, her chickens, her animal kids. I bet her house smells like heaven right now with the soap-making. I hope she is not too worn out.

I hope that she and Judy both know how much I appreciate their company.

That's all I have to say tonight. Just that I needed that woman-fellowship and I got it and it was good.
We do not have to bear our burdens or our weariness alone. We may not be able to share the weight of them as such, but we do not have to be alone as we bear them.

Thank goodness.


  1. Lovely, Mary. And you're right, about all of it.

  2. Thank you, Mary. It's almost as if I got to go with you to enjoy this wondrous feminine connection. We truly need one another.

  3. She's one of the good ones for sure, Judy is too. So are you! But you knew that.

    Glad you got some woman heart time today.

  4. Oh, how I understand this post. I miss my mom and the our girl time talks. I am told that I will (and should) find another mother figure talk to. Maybe one day, not right now but I sure miss my best friend.

  5. Nice that you have such good friends. And that you are a good friend to others.

  6. I often fantasize about having a sister wife or two or three. There's something more than profound about women friends --

    Thank you for sharing a bit of your friends here --

  7. Midwife....Super important during birth but maybe more important during death.


  8. Lovely. I love Kathleen's soap making adventures. I love when you take us along. I could smell it too.
    I would buy her soap in two seconds flat.
    So glad you all have each other.


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