Thursday, December 8, 2011


Everything is just pissing me off today.
I looked at the paper and was informed that our governor is cutting more jobs and using his voodoo economics to try and run Florida like a business and god dammit, government is NOT a business, it's to keep the roads paved and the kids educated and the people taken care of who can't take care of themselves and, oh, don't get me started.

And then there's this whole hazing thing at FAMU where a kid died and oh boy, all of a sudden it's like everyone's going HAZING? HAZING? who let THAT happen? when, in fact, it's been going on forever and everyone knew it and now pastors are getting together to PRAY about it.
Like, okay, God- here's something you need to pay attention to because it's bad and we know you've been busy but please- can you do something to stop it? Just thought we'd point this out. Thanks. 

Then there's the Lifestyle section or whatever it's called these days and HEY! Did you know that this year PURPLE is huge? Yeah, but you know, you have to use it properly because it can be overwhelming. Like, oh maybe just use a lovely shade of purple to cover a favorite chair in the hallway.

The chair in my hallway is covered with toys and a hat. Who has the sort of life where they redecorate whenever one color becomes more popular than another?

Madge, did you know that purple is hot these days? Shouldn't we redo the wallpaper in the den with maybe some flecked plum thing? What do you think?

I think that if you like purple, it's already being used in your house and if you don't, who cares if it's the hot color for decorating this year?

Jesus. Humans. We're so fucking weird.

And I'm agitated because Buster is obviously pretty darn ill. I didn't think he'd make it through the night. So what do we do? Go spend hundreds on lab tests to find out he has some horrible dog disease that we're not going to treat him for anyway? Approximately thirty percent of what Mr. Moon and I talk about is how we wish these dogs would disappear and how tired we are of cleaning up their poop and pee. The dog is eleven or twelve years old. And I apologize to you dog-lovers out there. I do. But honestly- I've never been one and I've been stuck with four dogs forever and finally Pearl died, the Oldest Living Boxer on the planet, and Zeke is mostly living with Lily and Jason and Owen and now...well...


Well, he doesn't seem to be suffering. He's just sort of laying there. He did get up and go out this morning to pee and he did drink water. So.

I don't know. I just do not know. I know I feel overwhelmed and although I haven't looked in the mirror, avoiding that at all costs most mornings, I feel certain that there is a big L branded into my forehead, perhaps scarlet, perhaps PURPLE and that's what it's like here in Lloyd this morning where it's cold and clear and Elvis the Rooster has his feathers back and looks fine and sartorial in his black and white with that lovely accent of red and Owen's coming at one.

Frankly, I think you should stop whatever you're doing right this second and go read what Maggie May posted today or maybe last night, whatever. I love it. And it suits my mood.

And oh yes, today is the anniversary of John Lennon's murder and perhaps that explains why I am in such a foul mood, still angry after all of these years when actually, I should just be grateful that he was here with us for the time he was, bless him, bless him, bless him.


  1. That's a lot in one morning. I feel for Buster. Sometimes for me, who does love dogs more than people, it is so hard to see them wasting away. I do everything--spend a lot of money--and in the end I maybe buy them a little time. But they are so worth the time to me.

    Hard to imagine that John Lennon was so young when he was murdered. I thought that he was old at the time. Perspectives shift.

  2. me, I hustled and bustled around this morning because I am working at the antique store today (and glad of a day of paid labor) and got everything ready and saw I still had 15 minutes before I had to leave so here I am.

  3. Purple shmurple... it's all about Tangerine Tango.

    Did your paper have that story about the mother in Texas that shot her kids and then herself in a welfare office? If you weren't pissed off enough already, right?

  4. Some of us have the gift of patience with children, and some for dogs - and some for solving math equations. If we were all the same there'd be nothing to talk about. It is admirable that you continue to care for the dogs when it irks you - rather than dropping them off somewhere far from home or shooting them in the head. Or otherwise being cruel. I do not think you should have to spend $20,000 you don't have to keep them alive a couple months longer. They don't care. I think sometimes, it can be more cruel to inflict medical intervention at all costs - including quality of life on an animal that quite possibly has no notion that what you are doing is an attempt to help - and instead feels tortured more than suffering an illness running its natural course.

    The joy of PURPLE being "in" is for those who love the colour but can't find accessories when it is "out". (Try matching up to pale yellow right now).

  5. All that and more. Sometimes I wonder why I even read the newspaper.

    I'm sorry about Buster and I hope he peacefully closes his little eyes before a vet has to get involved. But he peed OUTSIDE? Now, that's progress.

    About purple, well, you know my house, inside and out. Now that I'm in vogue I may have to change colors ~ any ideas?

    Ah, John Lennon. I still get teary on this day. But yes, we are so lucky to have been on the planet with him and grow up with his music. In my life, I love him more.

  6. That dog is gong to die on MY WATCH, I FUCKING KNOW IT.

  7. Syd- I don't know if buying Buster any more time would serve him at all. Would he really know? Would he really care? I have no idea. I just know that you ARE A FAR BETTER PERSON THAN I AM!
    And I love you for it.

    Ellen Abbott- The busier we are, the more we get done. A conundrum!

    Stephanie- I saw that headline. I couldn't read the article. Jesus.

    Jeannie- My heart tells me that in this case, you are so right. Thank you.

    lulumarie- Your house is beautiful and when I'm there, I'm in love with purple! You trendsetter, you!

    DTG- I'll leave the shovel handy.

  8. I can't even read anything about our governor anymore because it makes me so mad. I did see a funny video online this morning where someone at his press conference asked him to pee in a cup.
    Thanks for your sweet comment about my little one's picture today. I'm sorry I haven't been commenting so much lately. I'm going through a really dark time right now and trying to pull myself out of it. I don't have to tell you how hard that is.

  9. the only people who change the colors of their rooms when the hot color changes are the people who have interior designers and enough rooms to move into to avoid the chaos of the room being painted. i my tiny apartment, painting is a nightmare undertaking which is why my walls are still white even tho i dream of color daily.

    pissed off days are good sometimes. they get the adrenaline pumping.

  10. We have something else in common. We are not dog lovers, despite having dogs. I never admit this although it's probably apparent. I rarely feel guilty about it -- more astonished, I guess, that other people are so overwhelmingly the opposite.

  11. Oh. I wasn't paying enough attention. what's L for? Lovely?

    Now I am past all dog owning for the forseeable future, I would be tempted to take that dog to the vet and have him gently put to sleep. But, yeah, I know it's hard. Maybe he got bit by something?

  12. For me, it's ok if you don't like dogs. Hell, I don't like kids. (but that's mostly about the way most people raise them now). I do however like Owen, and not just because he's yours, but because he's fiesty and smart. But I'm still good to bratty little kids and you're still good to that bothersome old dog, so the world will go on. I just don't like you feeling bad for feeling whatever you feel.
    TOGETHER, we all balance it all out. And I don't quite know what I would do if you weren't in the mix of my lover or not, grouchy or not, you are my beloved Mary and that's all there is to it.

  13. I just have to say, I feel you on the dog thing. My cat was 17 when she died, and I was ready. She was pooping and puking all over the place every day and god. I couldn't do it much longer. I felt guilty too. Well, that wasn't very uplifting, but hey, I sympathize.

  14. Death is part of life. The dogs are better off with you than without you. I am not going to make you love the dogs. I understand how you feel, although I am a dog lover. I too have wished that they would die when they were so sick and I took them to the hospital and euthanized them. I hate to do it and I hate not doing it.

    Sometimes we have to live and stop being so analytical about it.

    I get mighty tired of dog poop and pee. Mighty tired of it. I also get tired of my husband's empty glasses, underwear on the floor and his inability to do laundry.

    Thank you for writing elsewhere about the whole "that person is with Jesus now" crap. Your blunt sensibility is what keeps me coming back. And your wrestling with the whole dog guilt thing.

  15. I still miss John Lennon and wish we could still have him with us. I can't do a glass half full about him even though I am glad he was here at all. So hard to deal with murder. It doesn't compute.


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