Well, it's over. It's fine.
And the whole deal was that I had a doctor's appointment- just a med check- with that sweet new doctor of mine. The one who seems so caring and focused and gentle. Still, I've been agitated and anxious about it coming up for days.
We went over some things and he's going to adjust my meds a little and add a low dose hyper-tension med because my BP is always high when I'm in the doctor's office.
Now- is it high because I'm there? Of course. Should I have been doing what he told me to do which is to take it at home? Well, sure. But the damn thing is, even the sight of the device crawls my stomach into a knot.
Fuck. I don't know.
You can't take your blood pressure without a device.
He said to try it for a week, see how it goes. That it may actually help with the physical symptoms of anxiety.
He also said that my aura seemed better today. Which is funny because he's hardly the hippie kind of guy. Or at least, he doesn't appear to be.
All I know is that I do truly like him. He ain't pushy. And he laughs.
And now I'm in love with his receptionist and instead of being offended when she calls me sweetie, I call her sweetie.
So that's all good.
And I had a long walk this morning and I did things like scrub toilets and put new sheets on the bed. Yes, I am bought new sheets again. We shall see if I like them. If I don't, I'll sure as hell return them. I got them at Costco, their regular Kirkland brand of pima cotton. Excellent price and they came with four pillowcases.
I'll report in on how they sleep.
I took Owen his Harry Potter cape and he's happy about it. He looks good in it and it fits him better. He's loving the book and his parents have been reading it to him every night so I need to catch up for our trip to Jacksonville on Monday night. Gibson's sick now. He's running a fever and sleeping a lot but says that nothing hurts. Jeez, but Lily can't catch a break. When I was there Lily told me to go ahead and see if I could wake him up to say hello, so I did, and he was happy to see me. I had taken a jar of pickled okra over as a present to the boys because they love it so and he ate one happily and then snuggled back into his mama's bed.
He'll probably live.
So now I'm home and I found a Mexican hog snapper at Publix, believe it or not, which is the type of fish that Mr. Moon ordered and ate with such happiness when we were at the beach club, Chen Rio on the wild side of Cozumel. He hasn't quit talking about that fish ever since we got back. I doubt it'll be nearly as good because that fish at Chen Rio was probably hours out of the water instead of days and also, I don't have the secret Mayan hog snapper recipe. I can't seem to find one online, either.
I'll wing it.
Thank all of you so much for your comments in response to my post last night. I want to answer all of them and I'll try. Once again, I feel so incredibly lucky that we have this community which is so caring, so empathetic, so wise and so willing to reach out, even in its diversity. I have felt cradled and counseled by you. I have felt comforted and inspired. You have offered me lifelines when you had no idea how much I needed them. You have made me laugh and you have made me think and you have made me feel surrounded by all sorts of love and friendship.
I quite honestly do not know what I'd do without you.
Now- anyone know how to fry a hog-snapper in the Yucatan style?