Sunday, January 8, 2017

Okay. It Is All Okay

I cleaned out the hen house today and it was so lovely in the sun that I decided to do a little weeding in the garden. I had on my Goodwill cashmere, some of my heaviest overalls, a hoodie and a scarf and it was heaven, kneeling in the cool dirt and pulling up the winter weeds.
So different from summer weeding which is buggy and sweaty and just a torment.
I looked over a few rows to see that I had a companion.


Maurice, lolling between the mustards and the arugula, enjoying the sun as much as I was. 

I went in to heat up some soup and got a phone call from Owen. 
"Mer," he said, "I know you came over last night but could we come visit today?"
"Of course!" I said! "I would love that!"
"Is Boppy there?"
"Yes," I said. "He certainly is."
And so Lily brought the boys and Maggie June over and we had a fine time at the old Mer and Bop house. The Mexican helicopters were launched and there was a fire in the fire pit and Sponge Bob was watched and hot cocoa was drunk and snacks were eaten and Maggie tried to eat a magnolia cone but she didn't like it. 


She was wearing her pink Carhartt overalls that I bought her at the Tractor Supply in Monticello and she was so cute and adorable, as Owen calls her. At one point we were looking at her in the hallway and Lily said, "Overalls make everyone's butt look big," and I thought about my own overalled butt and realized that yes, they probably do. 
Oh well and La-Di-Dah. 

Owen and Boppy did some target shooting with the BB gun and killed a few tin cans. When it came time to leave, Owen did NOT want to go. But it's a school night and we told him that he and Gibson can spend the night this weekend and so they shall. 
Before they left, the helicopters were launched again against the darkening sky and Owen helped me put the chickens to bed. He counted them and we noted that Miss Darla was sleeping up on the perch with Miss Violet which is unusual. We closed all of the doors and wished them good night and Mr. Moon and I kissed all of the children and their mama too before they left. 
Our rituals. They are important. 

Another thing that happened today was that I gave Mr. Moon my whole-hearted support of building a house in Apalachicola. I don't know whether it was the trip to Mexico or whether it's the new anti-depressant, but suddenly, I feel as if I can do this. As if it will be a grand adventure and why not? I love this man so and he really feels as if this is something he must accomplish in his life and although I have felt that it would be too much of a burden and an impossible task to do such a thing at this point in our lives, I also know that we are not old enough yet to reduce our existence to that which is and always has been, just waiting for death. 
Fuck it. 
If we die, we die. If we survive building a house together and love it, it will be wonderful. We will still have this house where Mr. Moon can keep his project cars and I can keep my garden and who knows? Maybe I'll learn to shuck oysters and get a part-time job. 

Or perhaps I'll just lead a life of leisure beside the Apalachicola Bay and read a lot and write a lot and walk to the coffee shop and the bookstore every day. 

And I'll be close enough to my children and I'll have an excuse to go buy new iron skillets and so when I DO die (which may happen although perhaps I am immortal) my kids will have more skillets to share among them.  

I am cooking pineapple chicken and mashed potatoes and green beans for our supper tonight. It is going to get cold again but Maurice is already firmly planted on the bed waiting for us to get in so that she can sleep on my legs and for this moment, everything is fine. 

I'll take it. 

Love...Ms. Moon


26 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful post, glad you are feeling good. Good to hear you have given your blessing for the house to be built .

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    1. Well, Mr. Moon told me he was going to build no matter so what the hell? Might as well dance along with him, I guess.

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  2. It's so great that Oeen can just call and ask to come over and visit. He obviously feels so comfortable with you and Bop. And I'm sure they will have just as much fun at the new house too. Watching it get built will be a hoot for Owen and Gibson! Will you keep both homes? That would be awesome if you could. You will work it out so you can see your babies๐Ÿ˜˜

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    1. I think we will keep both homes. Mr. Moon needs this garage and I need to be able to be close to my children when I want to.

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  3. Oh wow this is beautiful. I think Owen needed a visit today for some extra love. And that cat!

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    1. Plus- Owen just loves to hang out with his Boppy and do man-stuff. Maurice is a hoot, isn't she?

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  4. Owen is lucky to have grandparents he feels so comfortable with. Your description of him wanting to spend the night reminded me of how I barely had to ask when I was a little girl and wanted to stay at my grandma and pa's house. I spent almost as much time with them and as with my parents growing up. And now I'm teary eyed from missing them...and they've both been gone for more than 20 years. That kind of love lives forever. Owen will benefit from it his whole life long. ❤

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    1. I do think this is why humans live past childbearing age- so they can offer love and support to grandchildren which can only be good for them and helps to perpetuate a healthy species. Ideally, at least.
      I do hope they remember me always. With love.

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  5. Cozumel is indeed a magical place! I love you new attitude toward building the house. Yes, an adventure! A journey worth embarking on almost for its own sake. I have such a tender place in my heart for Owen right now. He is circled by love and light, as are his siblings and cousin. He will be just fine.

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    1. Thank you, dear sweet woman. You know the trauma I've gone through about this house...
      And knowing that Owen is being thought of so tenderly makes me feel better somehow. The more love, the more love. Etc. Thank you.

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  6. Maggie looks so tiny in that photo - and cute and adorable. Owen and my son would get on so well.

    The house thing is huge!

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    1. She's a pretty normal size but yes, she does look tiny in that picture! I think that our boys would get along as well!

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  7. Whoo, building a house. That sounds amazing. Wish I had the chance to do that. A happy new year to you!!

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    1. Well, let's see how this house-building goes. We may have to take several trips to Mexico during the construction to keep our marriage intact!

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  8. I can't remember the name of it, but there was a great documentary quite a while back about a woman that lived on a houseboat on the Apalachicola River. It was wonderful. A magical place. Building a house there sounds sort of magical too.
    You are kind of changed, doing so many things that you wouldn't have before, it's really nice to see.

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    1. Travel does change us. I know it does. I think this is one of the best reasons for it. And Apalachicola is beautiful. And interesting. We shall as to the magic, won't we?

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  9. I've never been a fan of change, so I give you props for agreeing to the new house. I bet you and your love will make it fun! As for grands, years ago I'd get a little weepy when one of ours would call and ask to spend the night. Now our youngest is 13, and I still get a little choked up when she texts me and asks the same question. Enjoy those grandbabies, Mary....they're what keeps us going!

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    1. They ARE what keep us going. I swear. Sometimes I get to feeling so blue and think, "Why am I still alive?" and then I think of my grandchildren, especially Owen, probably because he's known me longest and knows me best and I just have to realize that all the time I have here for them is good.

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  10. Ooh, Apalachicola, love it! Loved the small fried oysters when I was a kid. We too, are older and we are planning to move to our " forever home" but need to find it first! New year, new challenges.
    Envy your nearness to your kids and bran babies.
    Joyce

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    1. They still have the best fried oysters! And shrimp too. And crab. And so forth.
      Good luck finding where it is you want and need to be.

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  11. yes to all of that. the new house will be an adventure and things won't fundamentally change.

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    1. I think you are right, Ellen. Thank you for reminding me of that.

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  12. I think you are absolutely immortal. I'm going with that.

    Congrats on the step forward re. Apalachicola. I know it's a scary prospect to make such a big change, but it doesn't mean the end of Lloyd, so you lose nothing. Right? I think it sounds like an amazing opportunity.

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    1. Right!
      As to being immortal, I shall certainly live until I die and I guess that's as good as I can do it.

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  13. Oh god, that baby girl Magnolia June. She is beyond perfection! I am thrilled that you are feeling better these days -- may that last! And please let me reserve a room in the new house -- I'm on my way as soon as you give me the greenlight.

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  14. Well, don't pack quite yet. As Glen says, "We don't have a time frame."
    But I'll be certain to let you know when your room is ready!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.