Thursday, December 11, 2014

You Know We Can Hear You, Right?

I took a friend today to get a colonoscopy. We joked that now we have been through everything together from childbirth to divorce to colonoscopies.
This is true.
She sailed through with flying colors. Her colon is clean as a bean and so of course we then went and had a very late lunch at Ted's Montana Grill. "Ted" being Ted Turner who has a house right up the road from me and no, I've never seen him that I know of.
Dang. It was really, really good. I'd never been there and I have no idea what I was expecting but the whole damn place was tasteful and very pleasant and the service was outstanding.
We both got buffalo burgers with horseradish and cheddar and mushrooms and I doubt I've ever had a better burger in my life.
My friend almost fell asleep before we finished eating and I took her home and made sure she was okay and she was and said, "I think I'm going to sleep until I take my next real poop and that should be about next week."
I told her that I thought this was a fabulous idea.

And so that was my big, exciting day. Mr. Moon is attending the Christmas party at the bank where his office is and hasn't come home yet. I hope he's not dancing on a teller's desk with a lampshade on his head.
Nah, that really isn't his style.

I'm tired. It's been a long day although aside from a walk, I haven't really done anything physical. I just sat and read while my friend got scoped and I despaired at the fact that people talk on their cell phones in waiting rooms as if they were in the Cone of Silence instead of in a large room with many people where the sound bounces off the walls and booms about and you couldn't not hear what was going on if you stuck your fingers in your ears and said, "La-La-La-La-La!"
I think I'll try that next time, just to see what happens.
If any of these conversations were interesting, it would be okay but they're not. Just stuff like, "I bought you a pair of slippers like mine and I need your address so I can send them today."
"Yes, I have your address at home but I need it now so I can send them today."

All this technology and this is where we are and yet I am as addicted to my cell phone as anyone I know. Lily broke her phone today and is in sheer panic that she can't make calls or send texts and I completely understand. She feels as if she's on a deserted island.

So that's all I have to say about all of that except to add that honestly, I enjoyed being with my friend, despite the circumstances and she's one hell of a woman and watched the whole thing on a screen and that is something I will never ask to do. I don't even want to know there's a screen in the room. In fact, I would just like to get through it and pretend it never happened.
Which is pretty much how my first (and last, so far) colonoscopy went.

Ah well. We are all different but we can love each other tremendously and that's why this world can be a pretty interesting place, colonoscopies, our technology devices, buffalo burgers and all.


  1. Personally, I think seeing a friend through a colonoscopy is a righteous day's work.

  2. Yes, that was a righteous day's work. I am 51 and thus one year past the required and suggested colonoscopy. Will you fly out here and accompany me?

  3. I have been thinking about you a lot today. You have experiencing a lot lately. Loss, illness, change, protect your heart and take care of yourself. I am sending you a big hug. Sweet Jo

  4. The one thing I learned is, those meds they give you to clean you out, can sometimes still be hard at work after you're all done and you've decided to have a huge meal. Stay away from Chinese food. I'm just sayin'.

  5. haven't had one, have no plans to get one. no history of it in my family. I rebel against invasive procedures that you are supposed to get just because you are of an age.

  6. It's a small world. I now live an hour away from Ted Turner's Buffalo ranch in New Mexico. Seems to be as big as Belgium - the ranch I mean.
    What a great thing to do: go with a friend to hospital. Not an easy thing to do but priceless for the one that has to go in for the procedure.

  7. Cell phone talkers drive me nuts. I rarely take calls outside my home. When I'm shopping, I'm shopping. When I'm driving, I'm busy driving. I don't like to throw the phone into the mix!
    I ate a box of maraschino chocolates yesterday. I may never poop again.

  8. A- Ah, it was a pretty sweet time. Although she did get all the drugs.

    Elizabeth- Hell! You think I'd drive in the traffic you have? You come here and get one. I'll be glad to take you.

    Sweet Jo- You know me too well. Some days, some moments, it does all catch up with me. Other days, I am pretty good at letting it go. Thank you, you lovely woman.

    Bob- Excellent advice!

    Steve Reed- And the friend I took is a true friend as well! She'd probably give me a kidney so there you go.

    Ellen Abbott- I don't blame you one bit!

    Photocat- She was going to forego the drugs in order to be able to drive herself. I said, "No fucking way!"

    Heartinhand- Or you may never STOP pooping. Let us know how that turns out.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.