Saturday, December 20, 2014

Not Cheery At All

So. Maurice brought us a new gift this morning. Laid out on the exact center of the rug in the mudroom was a nice, fat frog, bottom side up. Only missing one leg.
Really Maurice?
Jeez. Thanks.
She's outside right now, pretending not to stalk the chickens.

So it's like what? Five days before Christmas? What does that mean? Three shopping days?

I give up. I can't do it. You cannot believe the stress I'm feeling. Okay, maybe you can but honestly, I just want to go to sleep now. Wake me up when all this is in the past.

Not possible, eh?

Did you know that before anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds were invented they did actually put people who were suffering from those things into a drug-induced sleep for days and even weeks at a time?
It's that bad. Not for me, right now. But it has been before.

Can I just get all the kids a new house or something? Somehow that seems more reasonable than actually going shopping.

Hey kids! Want a new house? How about a nice, fat frog? A dozen eggs? Just tell me.

This all sounds like I'm joking. I'm trying to make it funny.
I don't feel funny at all.
I feel like I'm experiencing my Christmas insanity. I saw a thing in the paper today about the need to create holiday rituals.
This is mine.
Go insane.
Well, we work with what we have.

Frogs, depression, anxiety, death.


Love...Ms. Seasonally Disturbed Moon


  1. You should just take things from your awesome house that you love and wrap them up and gift them to your kids as Christmas gifts! There, I solved two problems! New traditions and shopping all in one shot!
    Christmas is overwhelming. Make your family a meal and share stories and love with them, that's all they will really ever remember about Christmas.

  2. I so feel ya and it's completely irrational for me.

    So I'm running away to the Cayman Islands.

  3. My husband and children have been in a shopping frenzy and I haven't bought a single gift. All I've done is make lists of gifts. Sigh.

  4. I know it makes more sense to just cancel Christmas when we are feeling like this, but if you're going to go ahead with it anyway (as we do), make it as easy on yourself as you can. Calendars and food are my go-to ideas. There is a calendar out there for everyone on the list, even the little ones. And everybody likes candy or chocolates or cookies. Around here, the grocery store carries both, so it's not even an extra shopping trip. Hugs to you.

  5. I bought thoughtful, personally meaningful gifts for everyone on my list and haven't set foot near a store. I did it all online, and saved a ton of money, with free delivery right to my doorstep. Hubs and I decorated the house inside and out, laughing and having fun like kids the whole time. There is nothing planned for today other than hot chocolate, cookies, wine, snuggling, and movies. No one has to go back to work until 2015. God, I love Christmas! However, if I had had to go within 10 miles of a mall, I would probably be suicidal.

  6. Well, Maurice is trying to get into the holiday spirit, I guess! Believe me, I sympathize on the gift-giving quandary. I've done everything pretty much last-minute and we're both going to Dave's parents house empty-handed, which is kind of embarrassing. (We're buying all the food for Xmas dinner for his extended family, though. That's our attempt at a gift. Plus cooking it!)

  7. I too am seasonally disturbed. I think I've probably mentioned more than once here that I don't shop. Period. I am very fond of experiences. Ya know, like being in the same room together. Eating, drinking, dancing. Sometimes I wonder what my kids and grandkids really think of my presentlessness. All I can say is I try to be present.

  8. just keep your head down and stay out of stores. it'll be over in a few days. I have avoided the madness this year. meaning I've managed to avoid being a cranky scrooge. I don't even think I've heard a single christmas carol, that's how good my avoidance has been.

  9. Things are fairly apocalyptic around here. I have presents for three people. Everything/body else will have to wait. I'll be glad if the power stays on and the house doesn't fall down. We do what we can, right?

  10. Big Mamabird- I hug you back.

    Heartinhand- I have thought of that so many times but I am not ready to give Hank my skillets and Mr. Moon freaks out at the idea of me giving my diamond earrings away. Ha!

    NOLA- If anyone in this entire world understands and approves, it is me.

    Angella- For some reason, that makes me feel so much less alone and yes, better. So thank-you.

    jenny_o- Yes. Those are very good ideas.

    Anonymous- Obviously, you are a far more evolved human being than I am. I congratulate you!

    Steve Reed- That will be the best Christmas present. What are y'all cooking?

    Denise- I LOVE that. Being present, not giving presents. Love you.

    Ellen Abbott- I think I've heard about four and one of them was John and Yoko's War Is Over so I'm not doing badly there.

    A- Amen, sweet woman. We do what we can.

    Hank- When I saw that frog I really wanted to take a picture to post but I knew you would just be totally freaked so I did not.
    How's THAT for a Christmas present?

  11. There really is something about this time of year that inspires mass anxiety I think

    Too much has been going on this year and so I only put up a naked tree and just tonight we added lights and decorations

    and that's it; nothing else is going up; no wreaths or garlands or anything

    stockings yes

    The comma and the period on my keyboard are broken but I also must tell you that a local stray chicken has wandered in to my backyard in Austin and my son named her "Spoopy Eagle 2015" (after first offering and then rejecting the name I still love "Swag Nipples")

  12. Jeeze. Adult kids really, really like cash, so they can go shopping for what they need. In my experience.

    Is it the pressure of having to pick the right thing? Get enough? Seriously, cash and a calmer mom is probably something they'd be really happy to get.

    I could be wrong, maybe Jessie'll read this and come over all Veruca Salt, but I can't see it!

  13. I get this. But in 5 days it will be over. Thank goodness, right?


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.