Monday, March 4, 2013

Neither The Shower Nor This Post Has A Theme






I met up with May and Matt at Lily's house today and Gibson came with us to go shopping and Owen went out to run errands with his dad. He said they were going on a date.
"What's a date?" May asked him. "What do you do on a date?"
"Eat and have fun," he said.
And he's right.

So Gibson got to come out with four adults who adore him and he had a decent time of it. He ate. And he had fun. So I guess it was a date.


Here he is, eating and having fun. On our date.

We went to the Costco. We really had only the vaguest ideas of what we needed and of course we ended up impulse buying things like The Mediterranean Platter, stuffed grape leaves, and frozen spanakopita. Mmmmm....
Perhaps the shower is going to have a Mediterranean theme.
Who knows? Not us.

We also bought sparkling wine and tiny quiches. I mean, why not? We kept saying, "Oh, Jessie loves this. We must think of Jessie." And we'd toss another fifty pounds of something delicious in the Vanagon-Sized cart and toddle on down another aisle.
"Are you going to buy cheese here?" May asked me. I recalled what happened when I bought cheese for Thanksgiving at Costco which is that I had cheese until the end of January.
"I'd have to buy it by the fifty-pound bucket," I said.
"I'd like a fifty-pound bucket of cheese," said Matt.
I did not buy the cheese there.

They had camellias at the Costco for sale. I looked at the tag. Here's what it said:


Of course I had to take a picture immediately and send it to Billy with a text message that said, "All right. We're going too far here."
He wrote back, "Whoa."
I said, "I guess Costco is all about equal rights. For babies. Gay babies."

I didn't buy a camellia but I did buy ten New Guinea impatiens to plant in the pots in my back yard where there are now only dead brown sticks. I should have bought a hundred. 

We paid for all the stuff and left the store and went back to Lily's house and then I came home and unloaded all the stuff and crammed it into my dirty refrigerator which needs cleaning desperately. Another thing I should do before the shower. I probably won't. 

Mr. Moon has gone to auction and so I think that tonight I am going to try and do something about the kitchen. Don't ask me what. I mean, I have tidying and rearranging and organizing and cleaning in mind but what it actually needs is a dumpster and a pressure washer and a professional painter. I have some garbage bags and a few Magic Erasers and I guess I'll start with that. 
I don't know. I'm overwhelmed. 

I made up The Bed with clean sheets and it's in there calling to me like a whore who wants to get it over with. Is that rude? Maybe I shouldn't say things like that. 
Oh well. 
Honestly, I can hear it saying, "Come on, honey. I'm so warm and I'm so ready for you. Whatcha waiting for?" 
I have decided that mattress technology has reached the pinnacle of success. That they can just stop researching how to make mattresses any better because the Tempur-Pedic people have done it. There is no possible way a bed can be more comfortable than the one in that guest room. And it wants me. It wants me bad.

Sigh.

I found a dead mouse in the yard today. It was so cute. Even in death it was cute. 
That has nothing to do with anything. But it's true. 

All right. Time to start the second shift. 

Unless the bed wins. I am fighting my baser and lazier impulses. We shall see what happens. I could just go heat up the spanakopita and then eat it in that whore of a bed. 

I hope that doesn't happen.

Love...Ms. Moon


18 comments:

  1. Moon, your bed is a whore, just like trebek's mother.

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  2. Oh, I needed that laugh. Those laughs. Thank you.

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  3. I like Owen't definition of a date. It simplifies so much and who could hate that about the process of dating??? Gibson is too cute for words and had a mighty fine date from the looks of it. I love your bed analogy. I've heard about those mattresses and I want one. Mine is definitely over the 8 yr old period when bed bugs are supposed to be a problem but I want one of those and don't have the money right now. Maybe I have to go on a date and find me a sugar daddy of sorts. Maybe I can entice him with my new whore of a bed. You'll have to let us know if you cleaned or gave in. S. Jo

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  4. My bed is calling to me. It too has clean sheets. And my fridge is a mess but I am going to get my son to throw away the rotting food and my daughter to wipe it out. I am all set I guess.

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  5. only one thing can make a mattress more perfect: heated mattress pad!

    xxalainaxx

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  6. I have wanted a Tempur-pedic bed for a while now but am afraid to take the plunge because I am very hot natured and I am afraid it will hold your body heat in and then I would hate it and be out a lot of money. Will you let us know when the weather gets warmer if this is a problem or not? many thanks
    Angie D

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  7. Hope you and your bed have a wonderful evening. Oh and the spanakopita too. Take care Ms. Moon.

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  8. It's a Tempur-pedic? Oh man, I need a new bed.
    I'd rather clean toilets than clean a fridge. I don't know why but it grosses me out.
    Clean sheets here too. May we all sleep like hibernating bears tonight!

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  9. OOhhh. It's nice to be wanted, isn't it.

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  10. I have a whore bed too. Mine has a feather bed and flannel sheets (northwest weather, you know) If I died in that bed, I'd be happy.

    I sink into it like into a cloud. it's so lovely, I could cry. Like good sex.

    XXX Beth

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  11. My secret fantasy is that you have the idea to hire one of those cleaning services, and three strappingly strong women come in with all their gear and clean your house top to bottom while you're out with your grandsons.

    Honestly, that's my fantasy for you.

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  12. That's awesome, eating spanakopita in a big warm whore of a bed. Love it!

    And I love that camellia, too. Must be a name from the days of yore, before "gay" came into its modern meaning.

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  13. We bounced about on a Tempur-Pedic mattress and decided that it kind of engulfed us. We didn't want to be too hot so picked a really nice set. But I do have a Tempur-Pedic on the boat where it's nice to be engulfed.

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  14. yeah, we have a temper-pedic. I love it. It has spoiled me for any other kind of mattress.

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  15. "that whore of a bed" made me lol.
    You always make me smile.

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  16. Billy- YOU ARE RIGHT!
    As usual.

    Stephanie- You are welcome. Always.

    S. Jo- Yes. Your whore of a bed could help entice a sugar daddy. I promise. If you got one of these beds. There is nothing these beds cannot do.

    Birdie- Send your children over here. Please.

    Mrs. A- In Florida we mostly need a chilled mattress pad. Especially if we are in the Hell of Eternal Hot Flashes. Which I am.

    Angie D- My husband is the same. I will report in.

    Mr. Shife- And you take care, sweet man.

    heartinhand- I slept very well. Did you?

    Denise- Yes. Even by a whore-mattress.

    Beth Coyote- I moaned when I got into bed last night. I understand.

    Elizabeth- That is a very, very good fantasy. Thank you for having it on my behalf.

    Steve- I would imagine you're right about the camellia's name. It is sort of lovely, isn't it? What is prettier than a gay baby?

    Syd- This bed doesn't seem to engulf me at all. It just supports me in every molecule. I don't know why.

    Ellen Abbott- I know. This is sad but true. How can I ever travel again? As if traveling was a big part of my life. But still. Maybe? One day? Again?

    Bethany- You always make me smile too. So there, little darling.

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  17. I'm so very glad you do say things like that. And look. Just when I thought I could never have gay babies. Lifesaver, that Costco.

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  18. GAY BABIES!!!!!!!

    I wish I had your bed comfort. I am jealous. My bed sucks. And it cost so much. Grr Arg.

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