Sunday, September 11, 2011

No Title

I just gave the chickens some cherries and that is about as productive as I've been today. I worked in the garden and yard for maybe an hour or an hour and a half and we finally got the garden cleared and ready for the fall plantings and oh yes, I did clean out the hen house and put the poopy straw on a part of the garden we'd just cleared and I picked up fallen branches and limbs and I did a laundry and hung it out and made the bed and washed the breakfast dishes but that's all.
That is all.
That is nothing.
And I laid on the couch and I read an article about Angelina Jolie and her new movie which she wrote and directed and looked at the pictures of her there.

Celebrities. Ah. I pick my favorites with an eye to something I can't even describe. I don't give a damn about Lady Gaga and I don't know why but show me a picture of Angelina with one of her children and I melt and think about goddesses and I understand why mankind invented religion- obviously there is a god or gods who have favorites.

Or something.

So I laid there on the couch and I read that article and I have read all the comments on my blog post from this morning and I am surprised, yet again, not to find one that was hateful. I don't understand this. I guess that the haters haven't found me and if I can slip under that radar forever that will be fine although I am a big enough girl to take what comes my way.
Or so I think.
Who knows?
But what I also think is that many of us feel the same way but are scared to say it. And also, I think that despite my very non-religious slant on things, even people of deep faith who come here know that my heart is good and that I am at least truthful in my beliefs and as they are too, we have that in common.

And I love that- that I can say what I think and even if others disagree with me, they respect my right to say it as I can respect their right to say what they think. Isn't THAT what being an "American" is all about? What I cannot respect are those who parrot what some puppet master is piping into their heads via some megalomaniac, whether he or she be a politician, a radio personality or a preacher. People who never once stop and ask themselves, "Is this true? Does it make any sense at all?" People who would rather be roused to righteous fury than to have to examine their own motives.

Ah. We humans. We are sheep, so easily led. And if we disagree with the herd then we know we shall be viewed as "the other" and "the other" is shunned, cut off, abandoned, left behind.

Left behind. Oh yes. No wonder those damn books are so popular. Do any of us want to be left behind?

Well. I do.

This is not what I sat down to write. I don't even know what that might have been. Giving cherries to the chickens. Taking in laundry. I have more chigger bites than any living human being on this planet. You know, stuff.

But I think what I really want to say is that I am so fucking grateful for each and every reader I have. Even writing that makes me blush. Angelina said in that VF article that she feels more vulnerable than she has ever felt in her life by the movie she has just directed which she wrote herself and I can just see her, as I see all of us, finding the time somehow (although yes, she has nannies, she has ROOMS of her own, she has...well, everything including the preferential treatment of the gods, it would seem) and then finding the courage to show her words to someone, to humble herself that way, the way all of us do here in our blog posts. To risk sounding a fool or stupid or unpatriotic or politically incorrect or...oh, whatever it is we fear in putting our words out there for anyone to read. Including our families and those we love the most.

Thank you. All of you who read what I said today (and any other day for that matter) and left a comment that was positive or sweet or thoughtful or all of the above and yes, to you who may have read it and thought, bullshit, and who did not bother to relate that to me although if you did, it would be okay. I promise.

I made my man and myself pancakes. I gave the chickens some cherries. I collected four beautiful eggs. I cleaned the poopy nests. I took in the laundry. I laid on the couch and I read an article about a woman whose existence really doesn't mean a thing in my world but who, for some reason, I believe when she says she loves her children as I love mine and as you love yours and whom I believe was as vulnerable as I am when she showed words she had written herself out of her own soul.

I did not need drama and I did not need crisis and I did not yearn for anything I do not have. I have everything I need and that includes you. I hope you understand how truthfully I mean that.

Thank-you and love...Mary

20 comments:

  1. I posted new baby kids on Facebook....go look! My guys will make you smile even more :)

    I think you'd like Lady Gaga, actually...go watch her performance where she cross-dressed at the VMA's this year and watch it on YouTube. The woman can SING.

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  2. SJ- I love your pictures and I thank you for sharing them. Oh, maybe I would like Ms. Gaga if I could get past the...stuff. I have just known so many wonderful singers. I am old. Forgive me.

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  3. Eh, I know absolutely nothing of what she actually sings other than one song. But that performance I saw on YouTube -yowza! She reminds me of Pink. I love me some Pink.

    Glad you liked the pics! Fun to share them with you, since we get to all watch Owen grow up :)

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  4. I read all your comments, too, and was really amazed that no one said anything. I was a little nervous that one of the crazies who regularly visit my blog would hop on over and let you have it. But you must be "touched."

    I love you right back.

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  5. I loved this post, especially in the wake of all of my drama with Pastor Assface.
    Like you, all I want is for people to see that under the sometimes foul mouth, I'm a decent human being. Who refers to her former pastor as 'Pastor Assface.' That's not really all THAT bad, is it?
    I love Angelina, though I admit to a jealous thought: she had twins and looks like...well, how she looks. I'm 3 weeks (or less) from having twins and have no doubt I'll come out of the experience still looking 7 months pregnant.

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  6. A and I both read your post this morning but I was honestly speechless about what to respond.

    Thank you Ms. Moon for always being your honest and true self.

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  7. Well, Ms Moon, since you have a no reply blogger email, don't make your email available (which if fine if that's what you want but know I can't reply to your comments because I do it via email and not on my blog or very rarely anyway) so here's my reply to your comment on my post...you won't get any argument from me.

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  8. SJ- Again, I am too old to keep track of the new and talented. I am just doing the best I can to keep track of us old survivors. But I am glad to know that there are new ones, carrying it all on. Babies and performers both.

    Elizabeth- Or as we say here, "Tetched," meaning, insane. You have no idea how much I love you and yours.

    Mel's Way- If I offended, I am sorry. Thank-you for being here, for being there, for living YOUR true life with A. Love to you both.

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  9. Ellen Abbott- No. My e-mail is right there over in the sidebar. mmerluna AT aol dot com.

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  10. You didn't offend Ms. Moon. I just didn't know what I could say that had not already been said. Love to you as well. :)

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  11. Sister Moon = The truth!

    As one of your readers and friends who happens to be of deep faith. . .yes, I come here every day because as you have told me many times. . .we are so much more alike than we are different. Yes, that heart of yours is good.

    Do what you do, Sister Moon.

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  12. Mel's Way- Good. I would not want to offend you. Ever.

    Sister Doctor- And do what YOU do, which is to minister to souls and bodies and for that, I respect and admire you to pieces.

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  13. Celebrity is difficult for me--I don't care for them--and I think we focus too much on them-- although I like some historical figures very much so I understand. What you had to say about Ms. Jolie is more interesting than Ms. Jolie in that you can see her as a person with vulnerabilities and relate that to those of us who blog our thoughts, hopes, aspirations--that was very inspiring. And tender.

    There isn't enough room in my life to pass judgment on Ms. Jolie. I don't know her. I know that people are very complex. She inspires a lot of strange comments because she strikes fear in many people. Fear of what living an authentic, wide open life might be like. She is just another person who is struggling to make sense of it all. She had a problem with drugs and that can make a person photogenic in this culture. She has had a problem with relationships and who hasn't? But she probably doesn't want to hurt people and that is positive, no?


    There is always peace and honesty here. That is why we come back.

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  14. Angelina fits the goddess perfectly. She is unwordly beautiful, mother to many, lover to the 'sexiest man in the world', a powerful woman who 'rules empires' (national travel and extremely influential Amnesty worker and speaker and political force) who is- or comes across as- emotionally a bit cold, reserved to the point of icy at times. Fascinating.

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  15. Your fascination with Angelina Jolie is catching -- and I am not one for celebrity culture at all. I only get to see films once they have been around for ages.

    Out here we live with our own tyrants, buffoons and snake-oil preachers along with the genuinely good and honest activists working for change. La luta continua, as they say.

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  16. Ah, I see of my Mary's is visiting you Mary Moon.

    I must tell my sister Mary about the blogs you two write. All my Mary's lives mean a lot to me.

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  17. I am convinced that your blog has readers who actually think for their own, and can relate to your honesty. Honesty pays off. It's nice to have a place where we can have a different view on things and just listen to what those views are without judging...

    Each human is far more then the sum of the parts...

    And you surely have the writing gift!

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  18. I think that it is good to speak my truth. Sadly, there are those who don't particularly like my truth and try to change it for me so that I can be more like them. I am glad that you were not assaulted for your truth. And that you change because you want to, not for someone else.

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  19. Jaye- Humans seem to need celebrities. I have no idea why. But luckily- there are a huge selection for us to choose from! Ha!

    Maggie May- Exactly!

    Mary LA- I doubt I've ever seen an entire film she was in. Isn't that funny?

    Andrew- Oh, sweetie. Thanks.

    Photocat- I am not running a popularity contest here, and as such, I can say what I think!

    Syd- Yeah. It's weird how people want us to be other than we are sometimes.

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