Saturday, September 17, 2011

Snapshot, Saturday Morning In Lloyd, Florida

So Mr. Moon made it home with grouper.

The dead thing seems to have cooled off a little, thus not emitting noxious gasses.

I made my own chocolate.

Yeah. I can do that.
When you live in Lloyd, you better be able to make your own lots-of-stuff.

So the paper this morning from Tallahassee has a headline in font about two inches tall proclaiming Game On! Good lord but I live in Football World. I think Tallahassee is playing Oklahoma and if I know that, then there is no way not to know it. Hank just told me yesterday that there is a stained glass of Bobby Bowden (the former and very famous FSU football coach) hanging at the stadium which is the largest secular piece of stained glass in the country. I was amazed. How could I not know this?
"How big is it?" I asked him.
"As big as that wall?"
"Significantly larger."

Holy Bobby!

They've even brought in Larry The Cable Guy for entertainment this weekend. ("Larry the Cable Guy Gits-R-Done at Civic Center")

Need I say more?

Well, if I stay in Lloyd, which I plan to do, this will not affect me at all. I'd rather eat acorns than go to Tallahassee, fight the traffic and try to get a table at a restaurant this weekend. I'd rather dig a ditch than have to get in that mess.

I told Mr. Moon that I had written a very sweet poem about him yesterday on the blog. He said something completely profane and hysterical which I threatened to put on today's post. Man, I would quote him but I'm pretty sure he really would not like that. I made him a huge egg and cheese sandwich for his breakfast. All he ate yesterday was oatmeal cookies (that I MADE for him- okay?) and a half of a sandwich and he battled a shark on the line in an epic battle of man vs. shark and he needed some protein this morning. He's about to go out there and clean the boat and Jason's coming to help and bringing Owen. Yay! Owen's coming!

Okay. Saturday morning. It's cooler today. Twenty miles west of here, chaos is ensuing and people are marinating ribs and filling coolers and praying to The Football Gods and driving around with little whipping flags on their cars and I dreamed last night that I was having a party here and there were literally HUNDREDS of people standing around and I had not served them any food or drink and I HAD no food or drink, and Mr. Moon was watching a FOOTBALL GAME on the TV and it was just a mess. Just a big ol' mess and I couldn't figure out what to wear, either.

I just talked to Lis on the phone and told her about the dream. She said, "That was a nightmare!" It was, too. But it sure was fun talking to Lis. We reminisced about the fabulous things we used to do in St. Augustine- get Mr. Randy haircuts and even manicures and shop and have drinks and dinner out and buy gorgeous garb of velvet and wear make-up and oh, oh, oh!
Oh my.
We agreed to do another trip like that soon. We are going to call it the We Have A Dream tour. I don't know if we'll actually do it but just talking about it was almost as good.

Okay. One more thing. On Mr. Shife's blog, which is here, he linked to a web site here, and he quoted a few of the things he'd found there and one of them was this:

Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.

Didn't I fucking write that? Do any of you remember? I swear, I think I wrote that.

Oh well. Whatever.

Happy Saturday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Don't know if you wrote that penis quote, but it could have been you... It sounds like you. Bwaaahahahahahaaaa. Have a great Owen Saturday. I will see my grandkiddies next week... Woohoo

  2. I say you wrote it. Totally sounds like you.

    Which reminds me of this really obscene joke that ends with the punch line, "Do I know it? I wrote it!"

    Does The Moon Man or anyone else know this joke? I am just curious.

  3. My sentiments exactly whoever wrote it.

  4. It definitely sounds like something you would right! Either way... I thoroughly agree with it!

  5. Well, no good checking your index; god knows what you filed it under. :)

  6. Oh, I have those dreams. Weddings, children's birthday parties, never ready, mortification and horror. Ugh.

    What's with the cock-blocking on the profane and hilarious comment? Cruel :(

  7. You wrote it because I know I've heard it before.

    Happy Saturday!

  8. And may I add, do NOT shove that thing down ANYone's throat!


    Have a good day.

  9. I'm with you on the religion thing. No whipping out here. All the football stuff drive me crazy too. Isn't there enough pugilism in the world without football? Never liked it.

  10. Photocat- I swear, I think I wrote it.
    I know you are SO happy to have the grand-ones coming.

    gradydoctor- I just googled it and that is a very fine joke. I will tell it to Mr. Moon tonight over a martini!

    Ellen Abbott- Mine too.

    Dianne- Agreed.

    Joanne- I have obsessively been looking for it today but cannot find it. I almost wonder if I wrote it in a comment somewhere.

    Jo- I'D write it if I said it but Mr. Moon said it and so he owns it and therefore...
    I must respect his wishes.

    Elizabeth- THANK-YOU! But when?

    Ms. Fleur- Well, that goes without saying.

    Syd- You are a rare male. Of any species. Which is why we like you so much.

  11. UGH. It's Football Day here too, and it's the Big College Rivalry Game which means when Jonah and I were driving home from the apple orchard, at, say 11 AM there were already Solo cups blooming like roses in all the lawns, beer pong tournaments spilling over into the road, drunk college students weaving between traffic and puking on the cement. Last year they burned mattresses in the streets. Two years before they overturned a cop car who came to see the burning mattresses (it must be A Thing College Kids Do).

    I'm super glad I live next to the woods and not in the city anymore.

    And that stained glass window freaks me out more than a little bit.

  12. Sorry, Ms. Moon, but having grown up in Norman, Oklahoma all I can say is "Go Sooners". Okay, that was a little half-hearted but what can I say, I really don't give a shit about football. Meanwhile, "Go Sooners!" Ugh.
    One more time, goooooooooooo Soooooners. No?

  13. The downtown traffic is intense.

    Also, for some reason it always cracks me up when you quote conversations we have or things I say. Then I wonder if I sound like that.

  14. Sara- Yes. Oh Lord. Not to live in a place with puking college students and burning mattresses makes my heart VERY happy.

    Towanda- Well, they are crying in Muddville here today.

    DTG- I LOVE the way you talk! Yes, you do sound like that. It's awesome!

  15. You certainly COULD have written that. Yes indeedy.

  16. Ms. Bastard-Beloved- And I so wish I had.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.