Friday, July 22, 2011

Normal Pre-Trip Tripping

Some of you may remember this pretty little lady lamp although I myself had almost forgotten her. Her head had unfortunately snapped off and she's been sitting in the Museum Of Unfinished Projects (the garage/workshop) for at least a year but yesterday Mr. Moon brought her back in the house, all fixed up and with warnings that I am to be very, very careful with her.
Owen kissed her. Of course.
So she is back in the bathroom of Madonnas and Fridas and Mermaids.
The Goddess Bathroom.

Ah. My feet seem to find nothing but sand on the floor in every room of the house and the laundry is already going and will Mr. Moon remember to water my plants and how can I leave him with all these animals and will he eat? What will he eat? He has told me that if I ever left him or died he would probably perish from starvation. Now we all know this is not true, just as I know that he will not let my plants die and he will not let the chickens or dogs die either, although as for the dogs, it would not hurt my feelings at all if they did.
Go ahead, give me hell.
It's not that I hate the dogs. I don't really. I just hate what they do to my life, my house.

No, if I suddenly disappeared, Mr. Moon would replace me with a younger model in about three months. This I know for certain. Oh sure, he would cherish my memory but he is a pragmatic man with a huge heart and he likes being married. I think. He could be lying to me. But I am only going to be gone for a week- not enough time for him to find a replacement- I hope! Who will remind him to take his pills and who will make his smoothies and who will make his lunches and why does my stomach hurt so much?
God. You'd think I was about to leave on the Lewis and Clark expedition, not just getting in a quality vehicle and driving up the interstates to Asheville, North Carolina with climate control and Map Quest and cell phones and debit and credit cards. No. To my mind, it will look like this:

Without Sacagawea to guide us or all those studly braves.
Well, I guess Lis can be Sacagawea and Hank can be the studly braves. I'll be the guy who got small pox and died or whatever they died from in those days. An infected blister. Whatever. I am telling you- I could get lost in a paper bag. I DO get lost in parking lots and hospitals. And in Tallahassee where I have lived for 37 GEE DEE years!

Okay. I need to shut up. This isn't helping.
Mr. Moon will not die of starvation. Lis and Hank and I will not get lost and wander around the primeval forest for years, surviving only on road kill and foraged berries. They will not kick me out of Asheville for Abhorrent Clothing Choices.
Owen will not forget me.

All will be well.


As I recall, they sell awesome microbrewed beer by the quart in the Health Food Store right down the road from Jessie's house. I'll be okay. And when I get back, that pretty little lady will be right there in my bathroom, waiting patiently for me to come and turn her on again.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. He will be just fine. He is a big boy and will figure out what to eat. Have a good time!

  2. I had a lamp just like that from the time I was about 8 years old until I was somewhere near 18!! Mom would make different dresses for her and even decorated the lamp shade to match her dress. Fond, fond memories!

  3. You're so awesome.

    If something should happen to you, Mr. Moon would probably have a harem descend upon him -- but not before those of us in it would walk the streets of Lloyd in black dresses, wailing at the top of our lungs and pulling out our hair for you :)

  4. Syd- Oh. I know. Still...
    He takes care of everything but I take care of HIM! It's my job.

    Rebecca- That's so cool!

    Elizabeth- Yes. Mr. Moon would have to have a sign-up list and a clipboard. I know it. He does too.
    And please- if I should die (okay, WHEN I die), if you do that wailing and rending of hair thing? Drink martinis as you go, okay? For me? Love, love, love.

  5. You're going to have a GREAT time! You will drive up in the best of company and then you will see your darling girl!!! You and Mr. Moon will miss each other but I don't believe he's going to starve, and neither will the animals.

    I love Elizabeth's comment, but I'm not sure Mr. Moon would like a harem of wailng, bald women...
    well, maybe if they could cook...

  6. oh my mind does that too, yes, just breathe, all will be well.
    though i love hearing it all spill out in your very wonderful Ms Moon way.
    I think I dreamt of you last night.

  7. Man, I wish I was making that trip to Asheville too! Across I-40, on through to Tunnel Road...go back to Flat Rock and visit the Carl Sandburg house again. See those beloved mountains...

    Have a great time. I know you will!

    LOL--my word verification is FAMIZI...somehow, that seems just right!!

  8. Mungam's food-pimp serviceJuly 22, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    I've got a short list of women who will gladly stop by and bring him vittles; should I let them know he may be alone and hungry?

  9. hahaha! Mungam! I am dying laughing over here.

    Ms. Moon- you are too adorable. Have fun on your trip. I know you will and everything will be just fine.

  10. Happy Friday back. I'm sure you will all have a fine time.

    Send Jessie my love.


  11. .
    Lulumarie- I think they would make him feel right at home. Especially if they could cook.

    Bethany- Was Keith Richards involved? Love you, baby.

    Akannie- It'll be great. I know it will.

    Mungam- Sure. Why not? It's so easy to "drop by" in Lloyd. You're bad. You know that, right? And yet, I continue to adore you.

    Nicol- He's a funny guy, that Magnum/Mungam. Don't we love him?

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- You got it! Love and kisses.

  12. Mary, I can promise you I will never dream about him. I'm not as cool as you. He is not part of my unconscious in any way. Well actually he is now because of your "obsession!"

  13. I like the way you know yourself. You know your pre-trip tripping is just part of the packing.

    Love your masthead photo with the cute anole and the shell. It does say Florida. may never come home. It's a dream. I know you'll have a great time, find so much that you can't see/do/think/hear it all and come home happy.

    And hopefully you'll share it with us.

  14. Bethany- If you read his book you would dream about him. Okay, you can dream about me and Johnny Depp. and bread dough.

    Kathleen Scott- I know! I was there in May and it is beautiful and I am looking forward to getting to know it better. I will be posting, I am sure. You know me. Gotta post.

  15. Mr moon will miss you and be waiting for your return. And you will have a wonderful time though you will miss him and wish you could share looks and laughs when something happens. And then you will go home and be so happy to be back there with your big handsome man and your chickens and trees and that sweet Owen. Breathe, my love. Take pictures!

  16. All will be well, I'm sure of it. Safe travels, and I'm jealous. I love Asheville so much, but didn't get to visit this time through. You'll have a great time with Lis and Hank and Jessie! And Mr. Moon will be so happy to see you when you get home.
    I love that lamp. It's perfect.

  17. I recall getting lost in a parking lot in Santa Monica with you for hours. To the point that other people were heckling us.

    I knew we would be ok because I had just purchased a purple kimono and I knew it was magical enough to get us out of there.

    So either take a purple kimono or rely on the GPS. Wonderful invention.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.