Thursday, July 14, 2011
I am so undergroomed right now that I am thinking of just dying my facial hair black and calling myself Frida. It worked for her, right? And it's all in the earrings, right?
Here I am with an entire self-proclaimed day of whatever I want before me. Self-proclaimed because I am a stay-at-home grandmother and housewife, and thus, my own boss. Hahaha! Everyone is the boss of me. Owen, especially, as I have noted here recently. But he is with his mama today and thus, for the moment, at least, no one is here to boss me. Except for the dogs and the chickens, of course. And the house. The house is the boss of me. And the laundry. Definitely the laundry is the boss of me.
We watched about fifteen minutes of Roseanne Barr's new show on Lifetime last night. I loved it. I think my husband was in horror. I finally got up and washed the dishes and said, "Here's the remote, honey. Watch whatever you want," because I knew that if I watched an entire hour of that show I would be transformed into a foul-mouthed old woman who grows things and wears overalls and says what she thinks without regard for anyone.
I'm more than 3/4's there already.
God. I love Roseanne Barr. NO ONE is the boss of Roseanne Barr and thus, she is vilified and hated.
And loved. But not by the men I know. Mr. Moon's main complaint about the fifteen minutes we watched was that she was using the wrong kind of rifle to shoot at the wild pigs on her macadamia nut farm in Hawaii.
Then I took Mr. Moon a Skinny Cow chocolate ice-cream sandwich for him to eat while he was watching Buck Masters. Yes. There is a show called Buck Masters. And I washed the dishes. And then I went to bed.
I am not Roseanne. Hey! She has a cute boyfriend. I hope he's not an ass.
Poor Mr. Moon. He is working SO hard this week. And you know what I packed for his lunch? (This is so sad.) Leftover green beans and potatoes. A nice salad. And a small piece of leftover frozen organic vegetarian pizza and a string cheese. Yes. I packed Mr. Moon a string cheese.
That was all the damn protein I had in the house. I'm sorry. They are going to laugh at him in the break room today.
Well, I have a feeling that if I had watched the whole episode of Roseanne's show, I wouldn't have packed him a lunch at all. I would have said, "Go out and eat your fucking lunch in a restaurant like normal adults!" and then I would have spat upon the ground to give that definitive emphasis to my words.
And boy, would I have regretted THAT.
We can't all be Roseanne.
But we can look to them for inspiration. And Katherine Hepburn and Harriet Tubman and Hilary Clinton and Madonna and hell, you can even look for inspiration in Lady Gaga if you want. Whatever it is that you need to find within yourself to keep on going. Or the lady next door or across the street or your mother's next door neighbor at the Assisted Living place or your best friend or your children or even your husband. If he inspires you.
Which mine generally does and which is why I feel really bad that I only had string cheese to offer him today.
I'm already too hot today to be able to think properly. Thank god you don't have to think to do the motherfucking laundry. So I'm going to ask you a question- who inspires you?
Fictional characters definitely allowed.
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You, duh. But also Skink, Sylvia Rivera, Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax, and the sea cucumber.ReplyDelete
DTG- How sad is it that Skink and the sea cucumber were the only things I didn't have to google on that list?ReplyDelete
YOU are my inspiration. A main one and always have been. And you know it, too. Love you forever...Your mama
Lady Caca inspires me to wretch.ReplyDelete
I wish someone would pack ME lunch.
How did I miss the fact that Roseanne has a new show? I'll have to try and catch it because I just love her. By the way, a year from now I will be the only boss of me too, sort of. I will be retiring from my job and running a granny daycare out of my house for my grandkids, who will be bossing me like crazy. Somehow I don't think I will mind.ReplyDelete
Anne LaMott is my muse. Too many wonderful, glorious women to list, though, and I fail to live up to a one of them! gives me something to keep working toward.ReplyDelete
And I feel horrible because I NEVER pack Steve a lunch. And he works pretty hard too. And works in the fields where there are no restaraunts. Maybe tomorrow. But probably not.
Mama: it is a sin and a shame that Sylvia Rivera isn't a household name. Love you!ReplyDelete
My mind is empty of inspiration this morning -- imposed or otherwise. But thank god for your blog so that I can at least get starting on writing --ReplyDelete
Ms. Bastard-Beloved- I don't get the Gaga thing AT ALL. Oh well. You made me laugh. You are one of my inspirations EVERY DAY!ReplyDelete
Lois- Oh boy. Well, yes, you will have two bosses. Try very hard to establish the fiction that YOU are the boss, though. Seriously. Try.
Kori- Ann Lamott is inspiring as hell. I do love her. As for the lunch thing- well, it makes Mr. Moon so happy and so I do it.
DTG- That's the truth. Amen. I have to wonder how many heroes we never get taught about? It's amazing we get taught about any of the really important ones at all.
Elizabeth- There's always the weather. Always.
We are so on the same wavelength! I had just written about Kathy Bates inspiring me! :)ReplyDelete
Annie Lamott is awesome, but I don't have that god-shaped void so sometimes it's just blah blah blah blah to me.
And I wish somebody packed me lunch, too! I have to eat out every day and it's so expensive I tell you!
Do i have to choose just one? If i can just choose one, then it would be my daughter. she inspires the heck out of me. her soul shines. i swear it does.ReplyDelete
Dear Ms. Moon,ReplyDelete
I am so glad that you have NOT started not-blogging. I have a whole lot to say about that, but am not going to. Suffice to say, I am glad. That said, I have a whole lot of reading to do to catch up with you, and I happily look forward to it. Then, I will make a proper comment. xoxoL
NOLA- You could pack your own lunch? Cathy Bates rocks. Anne Lamott- well, I'm with you on the religion thing but it works for her and many others too and I shall not judge that.ReplyDelete
Her soul does indeed shine.
Laura- Hello! Glad to see you here, honey.
Vita Sackville West.ReplyDelete
And you of course.
you inspire me all the time.
Loved this post.
Love Rosanne too.
all the women who fought for suffrage, maria mitchell-first woman to work as an american astronomer, my great aunt who was frida's contemporary...single, strong, and painted everyday...women who followed their men to the west...men who take on jobs i would never do..that is my list..for what it's worth, thanks for asking...i'm so checking out roseanne's showReplyDelete
Angella- I know what you mean about your daughter. But you can pick as many as you WANT!ReplyDelete
Bethany- I am woefully undereducated about Vita. Okay. I promise.
*jean*- Great list!
My husband eats in the company restaurant. But I hear it's a good one. And tonight when he came home he had to make dinner because I went to bed. I think I fail at wifeliness today. But yesterday I made him an amazing salad.ReplyDelete
Who inspires me? My mindfulness gurus. You. Yes, definitely you. Also Cesar Millan. And Oprah. And probably many other people - fictional and otherwise - but I am so TIRED just now, I'd have to get back to you.
Karen from Will and Grace!ReplyDelete
Well, I have to think about who inspires me. I would say that the French sailor Bernard Moitessier inspires me. I also think that Skink is a great character. If I weren't so damn responsible I would be like Skink.ReplyDelete
But oh how Mr. Moon would be amazed if just one time you let loose like Roseanne. I think it would be the greatest time to have a day to do and say whatever you want with no repercussions.ReplyDelete
I always find myself drawn to and inspired by woman who are uninhibited and outspoken...smart and sassy. I guess because typically I'm not that person. I envy those with the ability to put it all out there, say what they think, and don't seem to be bothered about how the world responds.
I am sure Mr. Moon will live with the lunch you packed. Especially the green beans. I just got a huge bunch out of the garden yesterday and made my first batch of green beans and potatoes for dinner. Not to go WITH dinner. That was my dinner because it was so darn yummy.ReplyDelete
As for inspirations...I am drawing a blank on famous inspiring people, but I have a lot of inspirational friends.
Miss Alaineus, of course, who I am very lucky to call my friend.
The combined wisdom of my online parenting group that I have been a part of for near 13 years. They are the ones who showed me a better way to be a parent from homebirths, extended nursing, co-sleeping, and attachment parenting....as well as living life in general that feels right to me. Heck, withot them, I'd hate to think of how my kids would have turned out because my real-life examples were nothing like the route I ended up taking.
Pretty much anyone who has qualities that I admire and respect would make that list. I prefer to find inspiration in those around me.
I fell for Roseanne years ago. She was doing standup in a Colorado bar, and was being all foul-mouthed and wonderful like she is. Some cowboy was gettting drunk and mad and yelled "Hey bitch! Ladies don't talk like that!" The bar got quiet, she turned around and looked at him and said. "Suck my dick".
That was it. I was in love. LOL
I live in the country, and there are always all manner of critters dying under the house, in the ductwork, anywhere you can't easily find them. Hank is right. The smell goes away eventually. lol
You inspire me xxReplyDelete