Some days my walk is a pleasant thing, although I never saunter and always walk hard and fast. But when I have the energy, when I feel good, it's an excellent thing to find my strength, to enjoy the fact that I still have the muscles, the heart, to do this thing I do.
And then there are days like today when there is no pleasure in it at all. It is an effort composed of mixed and perhaps equal parts of determination, perspiration, and pain. Nothing more, nothing less. Not one damn step is a mindless one, each one instead, an exercise in an of itself in nothing more than sheer will.
I have said many times that the reason I walk for exercise is because I can't decide to quit in the middle of it. There is no cab to call in the woods in Lloyd and I never think to bring my cell phone with me anyway. I walk alone, listening to my books on tape and I can't bear the thought of walking with anyone else. I would have to match my pace to theirs and this cannot be done the way I walk. I try to start out reasonably slowly, move on and end strong.
Today I started out slowly and moved on and picked up the pace but every shady part called me to want to stop but there is no stopping because if I did, there might be a toppling over. Momentum must be maintained at all costs.
The last two blocks were the worst, even though they were shady, and my goal, the post office, was in sight. I don't even remember passing the yard where the dogs are kept and the smell of dog shit is overpowering. I believe I may have experienced an out-of-body situation in order to keep on going.
Really. It was that hard. And I have no idea why.
Oh. Who knows? And what does it matter? I am no athlete who tracks and records diet and sleep and minutes and miles. I just do what I do and it either goes easily or it goes with difficulty but the important part is that it goes. That I do it. Because exercising the will is as important, I think, as exercising the body. I am not looking for the perfect body and I am in no competition with anyone but I know truly and surely that in order to be able to keep up with this life I have, I have to maintain a certain level of fitness. To work in my yard and garden and more importantly, to be able to keep up with my grandson now and with a new baby coming later.
Of course, that's the theory. In reality if I had to take care of a child right now in the state I'm in after my walk this morning, I'd probably die.
I have this fantasy of being 89 years old or so, and tending Owen's children. I will sit in a rocking chair with my feet up and I will scream at the children in my trembley old lady voice.
"You kids get off those stairs! Don't make your great-granny get out of this rocking chair! If I have to get out of this chair I'm going to show you my titties! Don't make me unbutton this shirt!"
That will horrify them into submission, I'm sure.
And then I'll make them go cut switches so I can switch their little butts but of course I won't switch their butts. I'll grab them up and hug them to my withered old bosom and smother them with love and kisses and then tell them to go fix me another gin and tonic after which I'll hobble outside with them and let them chase the chickens with their switches and I'll cackle. Yes! I will cackle!
Who knows? Not me.
Here's all I really know right now at this second:
I am so glad that walk is over.
And I may not move again all day long.
Now be good, y'all. Or I might show you my titties.
And you really don't want to see them.
Love...Your Aging Friend, Ms. Moon
Because exercising the will is as important, I think, as exercising the body.
Is so true. You have it so right.
I'm sorry the walk was such a torture. When I run, I have easy days and days where it's like pulling teeth.
I love you.
This made me laugh.ReplyDelete
This made me laugh, too. It also made me remember how my grandmother used to threaten to pluck the hairs from her moles if we didn't behave -- or WE had to pluck them.ReplyDelete
Ha, me too. I think it just must be too hot, I don't know... excercise.. it's meant to get easier the more you do, but...ReplyDelete
I wish you had a pool!
I doubt you'll even tell them to keep off the stairs.ReplyDelete
I worry about my kids going upstairs in my grandparents' house because I'm sure they will break something or decorate the carpet with makeup, but Grandma tells me that if something can be broken by a kid it wasn't worth having.
Had to cut a switch once, ONCE, and that was all it took; I minded from then on I think.ReplyDelete
But feel free to "threaten" me with your titties if you see me actin' up.
Ms. Bastard-Beloved- I think the earth just really sucks harder some days than others causing us to weigh more and exercise to be harder. Maybe?ReplyDelete
Elizabeth- I would rather look at old titties.
Jo- Right. I heard that too.
Stephanie- She's right!
Mungam- Really. No.
Ms Moon, you always make me smile. That's at least two things now I'll remember... grits and grease, and when I have granchildren, one day... scare them with a tittie flash! ;) x cReplyDelete
It's the humidity, bogs your lungs which slows your blood. And I admire you, Ms. Moon. There's nothing easy about marching when it's 180 out (isn't that what the combined heat & humidity would be?).ReplyDelete
A new baby!!! I must have missed a post. Whose? When?
isn't the word titties great?ReplyDelete
keep swimmin, just keep swimmin...
My, my, feisty today, titties and switches. Discipline!ReplyDelete
---and, I'm sure it's cleansing to walk in the heat but how I love to walk at night, in starlight...ReplyDelete
Good for you. It was a hot day here but this afternoon there was a strong sea breeze. I live for those. Were you on the island on Sunday exposing yourself? There were quite a few exposures....ReplyDelete
The titties thing makes me laugh! I could picture it so well.ReplyDelete
Oh, Ms. Moon, you are hilarious.ReplyDelete
Oh lawd, I am USING this. All of it. Remembering that sometimes naps are just as good (better!) for you as exercise, and to threaten people with my titties, and to hug and kiss and encourage mischief. Hallelujah, life is alive! :)ReplyDelete
You crack me up. As usual you are quite right. I need to exercise my will more often. Love you xxReplyDelete