Saturday, June 11, 2011

This I Believe

A woodpecker was knocking his damn brains out on the chinaberry tree just a moment ago and he was so loud that I thought surely it must be one of the possibly-extinct giant Ivory Billed woodpeckers or at least one of our almost-as-large Pileated Woodpeckers but I went out and took his picture and no, he was tiny.

Can you see him? A mystery to me- how in hell can a woodpecker's head take that sort of pounding? Do they ever need Ibuprofen?

So speaking of Ibuprofen, Mr. Moon just asked me to help him take the topper off of a truck he'd bought and do you know what a topper is? It's that thing that goes on the back of a pick-up truck so that it makes a sort of enclosed space. And the people who have ordered this truck do not want the topper and so it had to be removed. Mr. Moon had undone all the bolts that hold it on and it would be a simple matter to lift it up and carry it approximately ten feet and set it down on the back of one of his trucks in the garage.

Easy peasey.

Except for the fact that the damn thing weighed about a ton.

"I can carry it myself if I can get under it," says Mr. Moon. "It's not that heavy."

I test-lifted a corner of it. It felt as if it were made of, oh, I don't know...iron and steel? Which it was.

But you know me. He says it's not that heavy, I can help him. Let's completely disregard the fact that he is 6'9" tall and I am (on a good day) 5'4.5" tall. And he's a man with arms the length of the truck bed and I'm a woman with arms the length of whatever is normal for my height. We arrange ourselves on either side of it and commence lifting. Shit. Shitfire. Hell.

We got 'er done but I barely held up my end of things. Okay, really, I didn't completely at all but I didn't let it hit the ground or anything.
And now I'm pretty sure that I've perhaps unmoored my uterus or a kidney or something.
If I start pissin' blood....

I got a new "follower" the other day. I am very interested in people who click that follow button for my blog and I've found some lovely places to visit by checking them out and so I clicked on this woman's profile and found her blog and she's all about the Jesus and our Lord and making sacrifices for our Lord and so forth. Why in the world would someone who is such a firm believer in such things even bother to come 'round to read me, much less follow me? I don't get it.
I mean, it's fine with me, I'm delighted she's here but I'm a heathen/pagan/possibilian/believer-in-the-dirt (But please do not get me mixed up with any New Age religion, no, I do not like religion at all, none, not even dirt-worshipper's religion, especially if it contains words like majik or womyn.) person who has plainly stated more than once that I believe chickens have done far more for the human race than Jesus ever did or will.

There. I emboldened it, just in case anyone does not get my drift.

But please- be my guest. All are welcome here at blessourhearts, the believers and nonbelievers alike. Hey! We all believe in something, even if it's the fact that chickens...
Oh. You know.

Yep. Sometimes I call this place the Church of the Batshit Crazy and we don't have rules and we don't have a dress code and we accept the holy of all beliefs, and Keith Richards is our Constant Saint Of Proof Of Miracles and I'm thinking of learning to do that thing he does where he makes some Rasta hand-ritual and says, "Jah Love, One Love," but I probably won't. I'm no more a Rasta than I am a Catholic.
But look at this and tell me that Keith's not a precious soul. He's discussing John Lennon, another precious soul and I don't care if you're tired of all the Keithness around here, it's only one minute, twenty seconds and I happen to think that Keith is cuter than a kitten cuddling a turtle, so there. Plus, you might get some hair-style ideas you can use.

Ah well. I have no idea what I'm talking about today. I'm procrastinating again because I told my mother I'd take her to see her new room again because she keeps saying, "If I could only see the room," and I keep reminding her that she HAS seen the room, twice now, but she can't remember so hell. I guess I'll take her again.

Here's a picture of the bird nest I have on my table on the back porch. A little wren went to all the trouble to make this fine nest, even using a bit of shed snake skin in it, laid five lovely eggs in it and then abandoned it. It's the nest that was in the garage in the motorcycle helmet. I hope I didn't cause her to abandon it and I don't think I did. I only peeked into it once. Another mystery.

So good morning and that's me. Woodpeckers and Keith Richards and I swear I think I pulled something lifting that topper and let's hope I only pulled and did not tear. I heard no alarming pops so perhaps I'm safe.
Still, I feel like something may fall out. Oh god. I hope not.

I'll keep you posted.
Jah Love, One Love, ETC.

Ms. Moon


  1. I think Keith might be your soulmate, one of them, because I really believe we have more than one soulmate, i think we have a whole cluster. In any case I can see why you have a crush on him. He is adorable.

    Glad I got through the blogger wall. Love to you this saturday morn ms moon.

  2. Angella- So glad to see you! I don't know if I have a crush on Keith so much as the fact that I am temporarily (we hope) merely obsessed with him. I admit this freely.

  3. That bird's nest is beautiful. It makes me sad that she abandoned the nest after all that work. Do they really do such things, is it possible she died?
    Well forget that, you made me laugh in this post and I needed that on this rainy sad morning. I hope you didn't do any harm to your body lifting that awful thing.
    I liked watching the Keith video too. Sweetness.

  4. I saw a tee shirt the other day in Publix that said "Have you hugged your chickens today"... I was hoping to find out where it was purchased because I believe you and Kathleen would get a charge out of it, but the woman was walking with so much purpose that by the time I read it, she was by me and rounding off to the dang deli isle! I was going opposite to check out and Harley was particularly "precious" that day, so... All you get is the story. :-(

    Have a groovy bat shit day!

  5. You be careful Ms. Mama. I don't want your kidneys falling out of you, or anything for that matter.

    Beautiful birds nest. Are you going to keep it there or take the eggs out eventually? Maybe some creature will come and take them for you.

    Sure do love you!

  6. Bethany- They do abandon nests. More often than you'd think. I'm so glad you watched the video. Isn't he just a sweet old soul?
    The jury's still out on the internal injuries. I'll keep you posted.

    HoneyLuna- I'm going to leave the eggs in there. At this point, I doubt any creature would want them. They're so pretty, though.
    Yeah. I don't want anything to fall out either. I love you, baby. I hope you're having a beautiful Saturday.

  7. he IS cuter than a kitten cuddling a turtle and i for one think that that phrase should enter the common parlance.

  8. There is religion, and then there is preaching. You preach love and family, nature and beauty, gratitude and grumpiness, depression and joy, babies and old people, Keith Richards and chickens.
    You preach Dylan and BB King.
    You preach honesty and I believe that's why your Church of the BSC adore you so.

  9. Let's just hope your new "follower" doesn't intend to make a "project" out of you, and try to save your soul. lol

  10. You should have put those eggs under a chicken to see what would happen.

  11. Ms. Fleur- So nice you thought of me. I doubt I'd wear a t-shirt anyway. I am not a slogan-wearing t-shirt person for the most part but if I WAS, I'd wear that one.

    X-ray Iris- I love those videos of disparate types of animals lovin' on each other. Know what I mean?

    Lisa- Oh no. You're right! I do preach! Shitfire. But not hell and brimstone. I'm glad that's okay with you. I sure am.

    Betty- Since I haven't heard a word from her, I don't think that's going to happen. Unless of course, she is praying for me....

    DTG- My chickens won't set (I meant to say that, not "sit") on eggs. I need a good broody hen.

  12. maybe she is following you because she likes what you have to say, and maybe all christians aren't the way you like to believe they are? Just a thought.

  13. Kori- Good thought but no. I've been to her blog. Believe me. And I am very well aware that there are Christians who are people I admire tremendously. I'm not talking about THAT sort of a religious person.

  14. OMG-I love Keith, almost as much as I love Johhny D, even if he looks like he was washed and put away wet.

  15. I hope that nothing falls out. I think that some of my followers think that I am religious but there is a vast difference in being spiritual and being religious which I am not.

  16. When I attend the church of batshit crazy, I think I get more out of it if I don't wear a bra.

    Having said that, I attend mostly at work, so I HAVE to wear a bra since they frown on the alternative.

    Oh well....I do appreciate the no dress code thing.

  17. Beth- He WAS washed and put away wet. Which is why I love him.

    Syd- Lord, do I understand that.

    Jill- Maybe I should make it a rule that you cannot come to blessourhearts with a bra on. Ha!

  18. I'm okay with Jah and Rasta. I almost converted. I even considered growing dreads. I have nappy curly hair anyway. It would probably work well.

  19. I'm with you, the Church of the Batshit Crazy and the chickens. And Keith. Of course. He is wonderful and so are you xx

    PS. I hope nothing falls out! I would have been no help whatsoever. I'd have tried to get underneath it and flattened myself


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.