Sunday, June 12, 2011

More Food Plus A Chigger Bite On My Ass

We're going out on the boat again today. Today's outing is Hank's official birthday outing. Now since Hank threw a party last night, I am wondering how enthusiastic he's going to be about this river trip. Will he actually show up at 9:30?
Only time will tell.

I have boiled the shrimp for the salad and Mr. Moon peeled and cut it up. Thank-you, Mr. Moon! The chickens love shrimp shells. Tasty, tasty shrimp shells! I have made the pies. I have washed and bagged cherries for the boat. I have Costco turkey wraps for the boat. I need to cut up a watermelon for the boat. I have chips and salsas for the boat.
Well, not for the boat. For the people who will be on the boat.
If they show up.

Wouldn't it be funny if I got confused and gave the pies and watermelon and shrimp and cherries and chips to the chickens and only packed the shrimp shells for the boat?
That would be the last time Hank ever asked for a boat trip for his birthday with shrimp salad and key lime pie afterwards.
I'll betcha!
And wouldn't those chickens be happy?

There will be so many people on the boat that I am wondering if anyone would notice if I didn't go. It's not that I don't love being on the boat with my family. I do! It's just that it's been a long week and next week is going to be long too and the weeks have been long for forever and I NEVER GET TO BE LAZY.
I want to be a lazy ass and lay on the bed and read Moving On by Larry McMurtry for the sixth or seventh time. Maybe get up and move a sprinkler every now and then.
Sounds good to me.
But you know I won't. I'll put a bathing suit on my fat ass body and we'll all travel down to the river with coolers full of water and watermelon and cherries and turkey roll ups and probably some beer although the partiers of last night probably won't want any beer. I don't know.
And then we'll come back here and I'll throw the salad together and slice the bread and maybe Owen will decorate the pie. I got candles yesterday at the store and Lily was bagging our groceries and she said, "Aren't these a little princessy for Hank?" They were stars, y'all! Stars!
With the help of my calculator I figure I have given my children approximately 115 birthday parties in the past 35 years and we'll not even discuss the parties for other family members.

No wonder I just want to lie on the bed and read a book I've read many times before.

Mr. Moon needs some breakfast. Last night he rubbed my back and it was so heavenly. It was better than anything. Ever. This morning I realized I had a chigger bite on my ass. I told Mr. Moon. He said, "I saw that last night."

Now we've been together since dinosaurs were figuring out how to have sex and yet, this fact still embarrasses me. The fact that I had a chigger bite on my ass and he saw it.
Isn't that silly?
Well, what isn't?
Who knows? Not me.

Happy Sunday, Y'all.
Love...Ms. Moon


  1. ahhh i have to confess i came to bite your ass..ahem..for the bite on your ass..because..whats a chigger? but i stayed for the food..and to say happy b day!!!! i hope that will be a lovely trip:-)

  2. Ms. Moon, it is almost 9:45 and I have heard barely a peep out of Hank this morning! I hope we'll be out there soon...

  3. I saw the title and I thought - oh.. I wonder if there'll be a photo of that!

    Hope you had a great day. Rest after!

  4. Yes, very silly. Chiggers are not silly, they are well, a pain in the ass!

    Have a lovely trip and maybe next week will flow like the river...? Let's hope.

  5. i love the way being part of a family pulls us out the house when we think we don't want to go out the house and then we find out we had a magical time in the heart of the people we love and who love us. have a wonderful day mama moon, and tell hank another happy birthday from me. and when you finally fall into bed tonight, may you have the sweetest dreams.

  6. You have a lot of crazy ass bugs where you live.
    I hope you did go out and had lots of fun!

  7. I swear there are times we are on the same mind wave. I got bug bites on my hip. Less icky than on the tush. I don't want to know how a chigger bite feels.

    Hoping that the boat trip is as good as last weekend Mary...

  8. Back rub. Pie. (I used to like pie for breakfast.) Watermelon. (Not bad for breakfast either.) Floating on the river. Sounds nice.

  9. Danielle- I love to bite asses. Mmmm...
    I'll say no more except that chiggers are damn bugs that bury into your skin and itch for a week, at least. Aren't we lucky here?

    Anna- Hank rallied, didn't he?

    Jo- As if!

    Ms. Fleur- All I'm expecting for the next week is bumpy water. But that's okay.

    Angella- I'm about to fall into that bed and I swear- if I dream at all, it will be a miracle.

    Birdie- True and yes.

    Ellen- It was a tiny bit cooler and it was lovely.
    I hope your hip bites leave soon.

    A- Oh honey. It is.

  10. We need to get dad one of those nifty boat grills.

  11. There is nothing like a back rub. I am glad that it was a chigger and not a pimple.

  12. okay..i m not a fan of chiggers after you told me that^^

  13. Syd- Me too!

    Danielle- They love to burrow into the skin around where your underwear fits. Annoying little bastards. You would not like them.

  14. I hope you don't have to walk around scratching your ass.

    I love you, Mary Moon.

  15. I don't think your embarrassment about the chigger bite is silly at all. There has to be some privacy and mystery is the relationship.

    Hopefully you can rub the anti-itch cream on without Mr. Moon's help. :)

  16. Dear Mary, I think 9.30am was a little ambitious for Hank's boat trip! I doubt I'd be up.

    Princessy? I don't think so. I love the idea of star candles. I would have picked stars too. Stars are good.

    I don't what a chigger actually is but I would have gone funny if The Actor mentioned I had a bite on my ass too.

    Hope you had a fabulous day. Happy official Birthday to Hank. Love you xx


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