Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hey Y'all. How Y'all?

How does this happen, this diddling away of my mornings?
I don't know but it always does. I had thought to perhaps weed the squash before I went to Thomasville but .... oh come on.

I have to leave for Kathleen's in less than an hour and I haven't given the chickens their corn, much less given myself any breakfast. I did make Mr. Moon's breakfast- a beautiful sandwich with eggs and cheese and tomatoes. And Miracle Whip. He loves the Miracle Whip.

Poor Mr. Moon. He still hasn't gotten that root canal and the pain has returned and he had a miserable night. He's got an appointment for next week but pain like that dictates and he is going to call the dentist today and plead. I hate it when he's in pain. It knocks and rocks my world and I don't know what to do. There are so many things that tilt my world off balance. It doesn't take much, believe me.

I read a thing recently about the five things people regret the most when they die and one of them was not being happier. That they realized, finally, and at last, that happiness can be a choice and dammit, I can't get this off my mind. I think this is probably true but that some of us have no trust in happiness and are so well settled into our rut, our deep, deep groove of expecting life to kick our asses at any point, that we can't accept that. It's like the better things are, the harder we expect the ass-kicking to be as soon as it commences and instead of being in the present, enjoying this life or moment we have, we are ducking our heads for cover and looking for the sure signs of impending doom.

Well, I do, at least.

Okay. I would expound on that for days but I don't have time, lucky you.
I need to go feed those chickens and make the bed and feed myself and get dressed and over to Kathleen's and we'll drive up to Thomasville and have lunch and then go see Dr. McDarlingGenius and there- another day. It's always nice to be in Thomasville, the little town with brick streets and friendly people. I'm not kidding you. Thomasville is like Mayberry, only with better shops. "Hey, y'all! How y'all?" That should be their motto.

And I swear to you that I am going to try to be happy. Not happy as in ECSTATIC but happy as in allowing myself to enjoy this beautiful, slightly cooler day with two good friends, heading north up the road to Georgia and be mindfully aware of each good thing that happens, that comes around, and try like hell to dispel thoughts of doom.

I am not expecting a great deal of success with this but it's a good goal.


  1. and thus saith the Lord :)

    I believe I'm going to "choose" to be happy, too, today -- not "ecstatic, though."

  2. I am very grateful that I am generally happy. Not all the time, obviously, but more often than not. I suspect you either are or aren't. I feel lucky.

  3. I like hearing what people wish they had done differently once they reach their later years - I think it teaches all of us things that are valuable. We can listen to what they say and decide if it's something we want to buy into... something that fits into to our lives. And the stuff that doesn't make sense to us we can just pass by.

    Hearing that people wish they had been happier, and reading your words about what you think that means... well, that's something I can buy into. Thank you.

  4. Yes a good goal. But you're so right, how you explained it, waiting for more impending doom, or just waiting for your self to unbalance again so everything that felt okay and right feels wonky and wrong. Even though nothing has changed but some switch inside that you don't feel like you have any control over. I've decided to pretend I'm not mentally ill and that's been working pretty well for a couple weeks. Crazy is as crazy does I guess.

  5. I do the same thing and I have finally figured out that it's sort of a defense mechanism to keep me from being blindsided by something bad. It's a hard habit to break, but I am trying really hard!

  6. 'I am not expecting a great deal of success with this but it's a good goal.'

    Sigh. You kind of shot it in the foot before you started there. Not that I'm not right there with you...

    I hope you had a nice day!

    Ps. I frequently diddle away the mornings with great ease... in more ways than one...

  7. Happiness seems to me to be a transitory thing. I like to be content. Content I can be through pain and disappointment, rich or poor. Content is a pleasant day - and not too exhausting.

  8. It is a choice, yet there are also days of sadness that are just as valid. Perhaps it is the overall "average" of our highs and lows that matter--I think overall my average has been more towards the happy side of things. Have a good day in Thomasville!

  9. Mr. Moon likes Miracle Whip. I like Miracle Whip. Mr. Moon loves you. I love you. We have so much in common!

    Abraham Lincoln believed that happiness crap. He said something like: I think most people are about as happy as they decide to be.

    I say that bitch of a jury is still out.

  10. Poor Mr. Moon. I guess he's tried the whole clove trick?

  11. I have decided that I don't know how to be happy. I want to be, it just doesn't happen. Nothing makes me happy. I have a great life. But I am not happy. Therapy, medication, good job that I am good at doing, wonderful home, friends, dogs and cats, but not happiness.

    We don't know each other but we like the same blogs and I like what you do here. Thank you.

  12. Abraham Lincoln suffered from depression. Happiness is a good idea. My house at this moment is completely surrounded by hummingbirds hovering at the windows, harvesting spiderwebs for their nests. Wherever I look there's a little iridescent fairy zooming past. I'm using Photobooth to arrange my face into a facsimile of the happiness such fluttering beauty should evoke. I don't know how often one can simply choose to be happy but the brain can be slightly influenced by feedback from muscles. Acting!

  13. Your kids can sometimes teach you. My daughter once said she know no one can make her happy. She just has to do that for herself. A pretty good outlook, I think. I keep trying to adopt it. Trying, I said.

  14. Why do we believe we have to be happy every day? Is it an American thing?

    I agree with contentment. That leaves room for contentment with our lot in life, whatever that is. Though I well know some people have a lot more reason to be content than others.

    My yoga teacher often includes a phrase such as " you are bathing in a river of contentment" as she talks us through the guided meditation. It is so soothing.

    Hope your day with Kathleen went well and that the Moon Man is feeling better. That baby gum numming stuff for teething might help a little until he gets into the dentist chair. Or, probably better for him, some good whisky rubbed on the gums around the tooth.
    x0 N2

  15. Of course I meant "numbing" =oP.

  16. Elizabeth- I'm pretty sure this deciding to be happy thing is going to take some practice.

    DTG- And that makes me SO happy.

    Jill- I wish I could practice what I preach.

    Bethany- "Fake it 'til you make it," as they say in 12-step groups. Or somewhere. Might work as well as anything, I guess.

    Lois- All bad habits are hard to break, especially the ones we formed early.

    Jo- Do they use the word "diddle" in Ireland the same way we do here sometimes?

    Jeannie- I agree with that 100%.

    Syd- Well, you're one of the lucky ones. We DID have a good day in Thomasville. Thank-you.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- You crack me up. I'm with you on the jury thing. I mean- who WOULDN'T choose to be happy?

    Lucy- This went WAY beyond that one.
    He tried everything.

    Jaye- Thank-you for stopping by, for commenting. I know what you mean and doesn't it make us feel like we're insane to have these great lives and always be so perilously balanced on the edge of emotion? Ah lah. Come back soon.

    A- Again- faking it until we make it. I love the image of the hummingbirds collecting spiderwebs for their nests. Thank-you for that. I didn't know they did that.

    Betty- I at least am at the point where I understand that no one else is responsible for my happiness. Took me a long time, though, to figure that out. I'll be visiting your blog. Feel free to make yourself at home here.

    N2- I think that "contentment" is the word I should have used. Seriously. And Mr. Moon is definitely using the Adult Strength ora gel stuff. As to the whiskey- he is applying that internally.

    Lisa- And I am always happy to see YOU here!

  17. Dear Mary, I had to look up what Miracle Whip was! I'm sure I'd like. Mayonnaise with more kick sounds good.

    Poor Mr Moon with his toothache. I don't know if you have them there but I swear by Nurofen Plus which is ibuprofen with codeine. They're brilliant for bad pain like toothache. I shall send you a box when I finally post your parcel. You could chop your own leg off and not feel it! Not that you'd want to obviously.

    I try and make myself happy. Hope you've had some fun today. Love you xx

  18. You are right. I'm starting to see that some days all it takes is a bit of bravery to be happy. But then some days are just shit and there's nothing you can do, so don't beat yourself up too much, Ms. Moon.

  19. Christina- Can you buy that over the counter in Great Britain? If so- WOW! We have some pain pills that are pretty strong leftover from Jessie's knee surgery. Thank-you, sweetness. And Miracle Whip is pretty yummy. It was originally called "salad dressing." Most people here are either Miracle Whip or Mayonnaise people. I like both. Should I send you a jar?

    Mwa- I'm not as into beating myself up as I used to be. Believe me.

  20. I agree with that. I choose to be happy every day. Sometimes even through my tears. I have a good cry and then decide to be happy. It usually works.


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