Friday, October 16, 2020

Nothing Is Quite Right, Even If It Is Sweet


No. They are not freaky doughnuts. They are funky cupcakes. Don't ask me why this happened. Probably because I did not really follow the recipe which, thirty or forty years ago wouldn't have been a problem, even when I was cooking in an oven that didn't have a thermostat. I just can't bake cakes very well anymore. I have no idea why. Still okay with cookies and fine with breads and my pastry dough is better than ever but cakes?
Forget it.
Still, when I put a peanut butter M&M inside each hole and frosted them all generously they looked okay and they tasted good. 
The occasion was the Big Family Birthday gathering that finally happened this afternoon here at the house. Lily and her kids and Miss Pepper came, Hank and Rachel were here, Jessie and the boys attended, and May and Michael were here! 
Hurray, hurray! 

It was, as these things are in the time of the pandemic, odd in some ways. On the table with the food there was a bottle of hand sanitizer. May, Michael, Hank, and Rachel wore masks the whole time, even outside. Well, it was all outside except for bathroom visits. Mostly. And Lily had to keep making her kids' plates of food because she didn't want them to get any possible virus on the chips or salsa or vegetables or crackers and pimento cheese. 
Or cupcakes.
Rachel brought cookies. Jessie brought a pomelo which she cut up and a lot of us shared and it was delicious. 
But not your typical Moon Family Party. By any means. 
We discussed the holidays and it looks like we'll all probably be doing our own Thanksgivings and for Christmas maybe we can all go cut Christmas trees together. Which is outside. 

Still. It was a sweet time. 


I got almost no pictures. And the ones I did get weren't very good but here's a nice one of Magnolia and her mama. May and Michael brought presents for all the kids. Levon's was a collection of toy construction trucks and he played for about an hour by himself in the dirt under the magnolia tree, digging and moving earth. August's was a gemology kit or something like that. Small pretty rocks were embedded in a relatively soft gray brick and with the wooden mallet that came with it, he pounded the brick until the rocks were revealed. There were safety googles too. 


I wish I could squat like that. 

Maggie played with the Fisher Price farm and a dolly. As usual. Gibson and Owen sat in chairs like grown-ups and chatted with us all. 

We got to reminisce and we laughed at old memories and talked about things going on now. But I just have to say that it's so much harder when we're talking across half the back yard and some of us are wearing masks. And we should probably all be wearing masks. 
August and I went to check for eggs later in the evening and we found a tiny snake in the hen house. I called out for Michael to come because he's the critter guy and he came into the hen house to check it out and I, forgetting completely about distancing, was right there too, until Hank reminded me that I was crowding him. 
Michael has asthma and he and May are being so very, very careful and there I was, totally forgetting every precaution in my excitement about a little bitty snake which might have been a coral snake but was probably a scarlet kingsnake. 
I felt like an idiot. 

Well. It is what it is. As May and Michael were getting ready to leave we realized that it's almost impossible to say good-bye without hugs. How do you even do that? Take your leave of loved ones without a hug? We're famous here in the south for the southern good-bye which is the opposite of the Irish good-bye which is where someone leaves a party or event without a word, just disappears into the gloaming. Southern good-byes take so long that sometimes you have to pull down the tailgate of the truck to sit on to finish them up. 
And they always end with hugs. 

Listen- it's not the not being able to gather for the Big Holidays that break my heart. It's the simple acts of not being able to hug and kiss that crush my soul. I can feel a visceral pull towards my beloveds and my arms ache to enfold and my body aches to be enfolded. My lips can almost feel the skin and hair of each of my darlings. I want to inhale them. 
And I cannot.
We encircle our arms in front of us to symbolize air hugs. It's something, I guess but it's not nearly enough. 

May and I agreed as we stood in the yard, not hugging, that we are all on the verge. She's already arranged to have the day after the election off of work although she knows that it is quite doubtful that we'll know the results by then. She just doesn't want to have to talk to anyone about it and she wants to be able to access the news. I understand completely. I think she is wise. 

Friday night. Martinis. Church next door. Supposed to get down into the fifties in the wee hours and perhaps we should open the windows and turn off the air conditioning. My dreams keep going back and back and back. This morning in one of my dreams, people who never knew each other, people whose lives are only connected in my memories are meeting each other, interacting, living out strange snips of plot as if my brain is craving the connections of times long past, weaving them together into braids of possibilities that never were nor ever will be. 

I'll go heat some soup. 

Happy Friday, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. Best line of the day: Levon was in the kitchen looking at his Boppy's Honey Nut Cheerios and said, "I want some cereal." I said, "I don't know if you can have any." He looked at me and stretched his arms open and said, "Are you KIDDING me?" and looked at me with that Levon grin that said, I know I'm funny. 
And he was. 


32 comments:

  1. So glad you had a wonderful party, tho hugs not as many as usual. It is hard, yes. Mary, I have found cupcake pans to vary so much in baking.....is this a new pan? or one you have used before? I changed pans recently and had two similar results to yours.....changed back (bought) new one like old one.....and all was well. That was my only variable, the pan.
    Susan M

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  2. It sounds just as lovely as could be managed these days. And I'm guessing nobody turned down a cupcake, of any shape.

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    1. Pretty much not. They're delicious. Vergil told me this morning that the extra frosting the dip held was appreciated.

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  3. Sweet day, lucky day. A cheerio day with a big smile and a tiny snake, perfect day.

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    1. In many ways it was but in some ways, profound ways, it pointed out exactly what we're missing.

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  4. How I love it when the grands are old enough to recognize they are accepted by the elders to sit with the big people and listen and even join in and even ask a question or two. May and Michael...big gathering.

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    1. Yes! I remember my children hanging out with the adults and mostly just listening. Hank says that's how he learned a whole lot as a child. I'm sure he did- I had some extremely, uh, interesting friends.

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  5. I'm glad you had a lovely time...Sweet day.

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  6. Nope. An Irish goodbye is where you stand in the hall talking with your hand on the door, saying 'I must go' and not actually going for a good half hour to 45 minutes, while the kids you keep summoning go nuts waiting and keep going back to play in frustration.

    An Irish EXIT is where you're too drunk/tired/etc to deal with the Irish goodbye, so you just sneak out to avoid it.

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    1. Yes l agree with every word Jo. Here in Liverpool which is very Irish as l am sure you know it's called a Scouse goodbye but the front door is open and all the cold air coming on and folks talk for an hour which they could have done sitting on comfort and warmth Glad the party was fun Mary x

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    2. Maggi wrote the above as yo provided guessed xxx

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    3. Well, Jo, YOU would definitely know! I thought it was an Irish Good-Bye but I can see how that would differ from the Irish Exit. I have a friend who does that and it sometimes freaks me out. "Where did he go?"
      So do you suppose the Irish and the American south have this thing in common then?
      Hey, Maggi!

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    4. It does just seem like common sense when you've had enough of other humans!

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  7. Oh, regarding the cupcake overflow, I have a recipe that does that often, I think in my case it's to do with overfilling the cups and also too much baking soda. But in truth, they're always delicious as it makes for a lovely crispy/chewy top.

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    1. Yes. I definitely overfilled the cups and probably there was too much baking soda. But you are right about the crispy/chewy top. Delicious!

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  8. Lovely that you were all together though - in spite of the invisible, uninvited and malicious guest that seems to get everywhere these days. I am not sure which is worst - Trump or COVID. Those cupcakes remind me of something but for the life of me I cannot remember what it is. Oh, and I loved the expression, "braids of possibilities".

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    1. Which is worse? Trump or Covid? Well, I am not sure but I will say that if someone besides Trump was handling this, the Covid would not be so damn bad.
      Thank you for liking that expression. I liked it too. It said what I wanted it to.

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  9. i'm glad you got to have an outdoor celebration. it is hard. we missed our annual gathering of aol blogger friends in IN, we are not able to go to tony's mom's wedding at the end of the month, and thanksgiving/xmas are probably going to be scratched too. with me working outside the house it's too risky. i completely understand the hug thing.

    xxalainaxx

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    1. It's so weird and so hard and as tired as we all are of it, it's not the time to get lax about it and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It's like my mind wars between feeling like a horrible grandmother and mother for not hugging and feeling like I'm being stupid if I do.

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  10. I'm glad you got to get together with family. I miss hugs too.

    Yesterday I saw a friend of mine at work, the friend with multiple myeloma, whom I haven't seen in I don't know how long. She and I hugged so long and hard, neither one of us cared. Both of us were wearing masks.

    Sending hugs to you Mary, not the same I know, but if I was in Florida, I would hug you.

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    1. I would have hugged that friend too. Hell YES!
      And I would hug you.

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  11. at least the family gathered. I was thinking about Thanksgiving the other day. I know my son won't come to any gathering if we do get together. my friend at the end of the street throw kisses at each other after our chats.

    it was cold and rainy yesterday. 56 when I checked to temp mid-morning with a 46 'feels like'. and it did. they said it would only last a day and they were right as it's warm out there today. and that Maggie is almost too big for lap sitting. how did that happen?

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    1. Got down to fifty something last night. Back up in the eighties today.
      I don't know how Maggie grew so big so quickly but she has!

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  12. Do you ever make sourdough cinnamon buns? I made them this morning, they are the best part of the day so far:)

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    1. No! I have not. But I guarantee you that I looked up the recipe.

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  13. Lovely that you all were able to gather. I feel the ache of these times weaving under your words,and truly we are doing the best we can. A friend of mine scolded me quite severely the other day for not wearing masks around our son who continues to work, but you know, I suppose we've decided to take that risk. We get such joy just from seeing him and hugging him. I so understand about the grief of empty arms. May we all stay healthy. This too will pass.

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    1. "Empty arms." Horrible, horrible feeling. And of course I understand about you "risking" hugging your boy. Any of my kids that want to risk hugging me will get one back. Quality of life, as my doctor said.

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  14. I'm glad you were able to get together, even if at a distance, though I'm sure it IS killing you not to be able to hug. Will these ridiculously bizarre times ever end?

    I'm impressed at your solution for filling up the little depression in the cupcakes. Using an M&M was smart!

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  15. What a wonderful, wonderful post. YOU are a hug incarnate -- your words are truly balm. Weird World has nothing on you.

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  16. I just love that picture of August (?) with his security goggles! That's just too cute!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.