Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Feeling Just So Grateful

This is the oddest virus we've had. It's hit everyone differently.
Jessie spent an entire night in the bathroom with all of the symptoms of a vile stomach bug. Owen and Gibson both puked one time and were restored to normalcy immediately. Hank and I have run fevers and felt like hell and had the body aches and a few stomach-related issues.
And yet, it must all be the same virus, I am thinking.
Anyway, after yesterday where I spent 90% of the time in bed, mostly sleeping, and ate a yogurt, a few crackers, and a little bit of soup, I woke up this morning feeling a tiny bit better and determined to get the hell out of bed and move around some. Which I have done. I've even got the sheets in the laundry so that I won't be tempted to go lay back down for at least a little while. I've eaten some eggs and toast and I'm glad to be alive but I'm sad because today is Lily's and Vergil's birthdays and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to feel like going to Owen's first baseball game of the season and then going to dinner with everyone to celebrate.
But who knows? Maybe a miracle will occur.
I have to say that my husband took very good care of me last night. He bought three kinds of soup and Ritz crackers and ginger ale and he heated up my choice of soup for me and checked on me about a hundred times. I appreciated that so much.

And now because it is Lily's birthday and because I love thinking about the days my babies were born, I'm going to repost this from four years ago. It is as beautiful today as it was the day she was born and if it's even possible, I love her more now than I did then. And it even gives a little birthday love to Vergil, a man I feel so incredibly lucky to know and love and have as part of my family.

Birth Day

When Mr. Moon and I got together, we got busy. By the time we'd been married for one year, we had a one-month old and a business.
Well, I had the child. He had the business.
We both knew we wanted a baby and he knew he needed to start a business in order to support us. He did his part in the baby-making and I did...uh, nothing, in the business.
This was because
(a) I had a nine-year old, a seven-year-old, and a new-born, and
(b) My business sense was in direct inverse proportion to my ability for procreation.

We were both, Mr. Moon and I, thirty-one years old when Lily was born. I thought I was a pretty experienced baby-haver and mama.

And the universe laughed and laughed.

Lily was my fastest birth. Only about fourteen hours of labor. But the child weighed over ten pounds and she had her little hand up by her head which I knew because I could feel it down there, punching my bladder for the last few weeks. It took me a very long time to push her out and when her head finally emerged, her shoulders got stuck. This is a very, very serious problem and can lead to all sorts of problems, including death. But the midwife was fast-thinking and had me flip over to hands and knees (the Gaskin maneuver) and Lily was born. She needed resuscitation. She was blue, she was still.
It was scary.
Outside the day was as beautiful as a day in late September can be. A day like today, in fact. Crystal clear of sky and air and there were lavender roses by the bed and a cradle, hand-made by her papa lay in wait.
Here's what Hank remembers about that day:

The day you were born, May and I stayed home from school. Mom was in labor, and we played out back all day. We pretended to have a traveling cart, with a team of horses, and we kept ourselves entertained while Mama did her job. Dad had made a screened porch into a master bedroom, and that's where you made your appearance. We didn't know your name until Mama used it to conjure you. 

And that's exactly what I did. While our midwife was giving my baby oxygen, she said, "Talk to her. She needs to hear her parents."
And so, even though we had not settled on a name, I called to her. I said, "Lily Rose. Breathe. We love you." And we touched her and she took a breath and she wailed and she wailed and turned rosy pink and the room became clearer and joyful and we all laughed and I took her to my breast and there she was. Perfect and fat and pink and gorgeous and sturdy and strong and given a name. 
Lillian Rose Moon. 
And Hank and May were called in from the backyard to come and greet their new baby sister and I was delirious with joy and determined NEVER GO THROUGH LABOR AGAIN and her father was so happy that when I told him we were never having sex again, he accepted that, and his parents came to see her and they were so pleased and even my mother was there and she took Hank and May to Wendy's and brought us back hamburgers and they were the best hamburgers ever eaten on this planet in the history of all hamburger-eating. That night Lily slept in the bed with us, and it was a miracle every time Lily moved and breathed and nursed and her father and I barely slept, too incredibly stoned on the sheer wonder of her being there between us. I had never loved him so much. 

And today is a day like that one was. Cool and clear and I am thinking of that birth, thinking of that baby, all grown up and a mama times two herself.  I am thinking of the sheer wonder of it all again. The love that ignited the spark of life, the pain and work of labor, the glory of that day, the fear when she did not breathe, the joy when she did. 

Every time I've ever had a baby I felt with their births as if I had been reborn myself. If there is one thing on this earth I am proud of, it is that I know in my heart that I started my children off right, having them at home where the love that got them in there got them out and they were born in love and received in love and they have known love their entire lives and are able now to give and receive love knowing that it is their birthright. 

They were birthed right. 

Happy birthday, Lillian Rose Moon, daughter of my womb, mother of my grandchildren, friend of my heart, glory on this earth. 

It is a beautiful day. And it is Vergil's birthday too. Today is the anniversary of the day he was born and who knew that a little baby boy, born on a mountain in North Carolina in his own mama's bed would grow up and fall in love with my last baby (yes, I did have sex again) and make her so happy and I just sent his mother an e-mail thanking her for bringing him into the world and raising him so right. 

Well, I'm all teary again. 

I've had a walk. There is not one cloud in the sky. My only sorrow is that I had to take down the web of a Golden Orb weaver because it was right in the path of where we walk to get to the clothesline, the hen house. 

I waited until she was safely on that red bucket and I feel bad because I hated to undo her work but I really do not want to run into her when I go to shut the chickens up in the twilight. 

It seems cruel to be mean to a mama today but she can build another web.

I am thinking of all the women who are laboring right this second to bring their own babies into the world. I am sending them and their children love. I am astonished at the way this works, the miracle of it, every time. I would wish with all of my heart that every baby born, every day, is born into love.

What a beautiful day.

Happy Birth Day to us all, even as we are merely reborn into each new day, and especially to Lily and to Vergil.



  1. What a beautiful birth story. My third child, a daughter was also born at home with her arm over her head and only got born after I knelt. Hope you recover in time to go to the game.

  2. I just love this post.

    Happy Birthday to Lily and Vergil!

  3. I read this earlier at work and started crying :). Had to move along and compose myself! So now I'm back to say the love the love!!

  4. Happy birthday Lily! Happy birth day Mary. Hope you feel better soon.

  5. This is a beautiful post, particularly your memories of the day you gave birth to your gorgeous daughter. I hope you feel better and better. You are the best mom ever.

  6. Happy birthday beautiful Lillian Rose Moon. What a poetic name. And happy birthday Virgil. You are all part of one of this earth's most divine families. Even your name, Moon, is magical. So much love.

  7. glad you are starting to feel better. I decided not to get hot and sweaty and dirty today for a change.

  8. This is one of the best posts I have ever had the pleasure to read. Happy Birthday to Lily and Vergil. I hope you feel better Mama Mary.

  9. That is a beautiful post! Please take care of yourself and don't push too hard. Hopefully the virus will speedily depart!


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