Monday, November 25, 2019

A Modern Day Saga Of Hunting And Gathering


Mother and Son.

Last night Lily and I agreed via text that we'd go to Costco together today. Appetizers had to be bought as well as a veggie tray. And so we met there this morning. The boys are out of school for the week for fall vacation which is a new one on me. Gibson decided to stay home with his dad who didn't have to be at work until later but Maggie and Owen came with Lily. 
It was so fun to hang out with my Owen. And Maggie was a sweet girl so despite the fact that THERE WERE NO SAMPLES AT COSTCO, NOT EVEN ANY GAGGY YOGURT DRINK, we had a good time. Of course every other person in the Tri-County area was there too but Costco is a pretty big place. 
After we did all the damage there we could do, Owen and I drove to Hank's house to pick him up for lunch while Lily went home, unloaded groceries, and picked up Gibson. We all met at Tan's and ate amazing buffet and Rachel joined us and our friend Lindsey and then Juancho (husband of our precious Melissa and coworker of Rachel's and longtime friend) showed up and it was a party.
Of sorts. 
Maggie instantly took over Juancho. "I'm Magnolia June Hartmann," she told him. 
"I know who you are," Juancho said. 
Maggie is way into introductions. By the time it was over she was handing Juancho her ice cream to unwrap and if that doesn't say trust, I don't know what does. 
After lunch, all of us but Rachel and Juancho who had a meeting they had to go to, went over to the nursery and hardware store next door. I wanted to buy some beet seeds which I figured would take me two minutes. 
First of all I had to find the seeds. They had so many fucking Christmas decorations and general Christmas crap that I couldn't find them. I finally asked a harried looking employee and he pointed me in the right direction. I got a packet and then joined the rest of the folks outside where they were strolling through the plants and trees for sale. It was a beautiful day. Finally we went back inside and I got in line to pay for my seeds but things were crazy stupid at the cash registers and after standing there for about fifteen minutes to pay for my beet seeds, I finally said, "Nope. Done," walked back to where the seeds were, returned them to the rack and left. 
I wasn't angry at anyone. It wasn't the fault of either cashier that they had to deal with situations involving more than just ringing someone up. I simply could not stand there for one more minute. I do think that I should get some bonus karma points for taking the seeds all the way back across the store rather than just setting them on the counter but I don't believe in that sort of thing. 
By the time we all said goodbye it was after two and I still had to go to Publix and I was so not in the mood. But I had to get that turkey and so I went. 
I wanted to get one of the Greenwise turkeys. "Greenwise" is the Publix version of their organic and healthier foods. Their own store brand. I try to support them in their Greenwise efforts because I know that it's hard for farmers and animal raisers to do things in a greener way without pesticides or antibiotics or any of that shit we all consume without thinking about it. We just do. Let's face it. Well, not all of us, I'm sure. But I do.
Also? The taste difference is quite apparent, especially in the poultry.
So I went through every Greenwise turkey they had only to discover that there were two weights of turkeys- twenty pounds and eleven pounds. I'm not making this up. 
So I grudgingly started looking at the other, less greenly-raised birds and dammit if it wasn't the same thing there, too. I guess all of the fourteen-pound turkeys had already been sold. And twelve and thirteen and fifteen pounders and so on. 
First world problem if I've ever experienced one. 
I finally picked the heaviest eleven-pound bird I could find which was almost twelve pounds and that is going to have to do. I am NOT going to be manipulating a twenty pound turkey filled with stuffing. I'm still fairly strong but if you add in the weight of the pan and the stuffing that's got to weigh at least thirty pounds and I'm just not up for that. And the thought of not putting the dressing in the turkey is a complete anathema to me. I consider the turkey to basically be a stuffing-holder and baster. 
With benefits including drippings to make gravy with that you can put on...stuffing. 
Anyway, the turkey is in the refrigerator. It will no doubt still be frozen on Thursday morning. Oh well. As I told a guy in Publix today who was contemplating buying one of the monster turkeys, they say not to thaw them in running water in the sink but I've never killed anyone yet by doing that. 
And I do it every damn year. 

This is probably one of the most boring posts I've ever written. I feel as flat as half a bottle of champagne left on the counter overnight. Mr. Moon's gone to a basketball game and I'd give five dollars if I had a can of Campbell's tomato soup in the cabinet but I do not. Sometimes you just really need a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. 
I'll figure out something. 

You want to hear the saddest thing ever? 
Oh sure. Why not.
I have a hen who doesn't want to get into the hen house at night to roost and where she's choosing to spend the night these days is in a potted fern on the kitchen porch right next to two chicken-shaped planters with succulents in them. Do you think she feels as if she's sleeping with other hens? 
We have to do something with the two extra roosters and that's all there is to it. I know that's why she isn't roosting in the hen house. And it's probably why I'm not getting any eggs. 
It's not always sweet and easy being a chicken mama. 
Maybe I should raise a few turkeys. 
Haha!

And perhaps I'll be more sparky and amusing tomorrow. We can only hope. 

Love...Ms. Moon


21 comments:

  1. not sure the name Green Wise is great for a thanksgiving turkey. Just plain ol Organic sounds better. Your Cost co looks like our Cost co...I never go there, It hurts me, I get a head ache- but Dennis LOVES Cost co and would pitch a tent and live there if they allowed that sort of thing. He comes home with the most ridiculous stuff from Cost co, because A DEAL!! right?

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    1. I do like to shop at Costco with my daughters because we can split things up. That's helpful and makes it less ridiculous.
      I always talk to one of the employees there (Brenda- the woman with the beautiful mermaid make-up) and she told me that they have people who come in every day and maybe get one thing. It's their social life, I guess.

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  2. you don't believe in Karma? What? That surprises me...........we receive what we give back...........and in your case, that is a huge amount. HUGE! Your day sounds great.....with Juancho and Rachel and Hank.........skip the Costco and I'd be fine!
    Susan M

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    1. Well, I believe that we do create outcomes with our actions but in a more direct way than any sort of cosmic-someone's-keeping-track way. That smacks too much of religion to me. I'm pretty cynical.

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  3. Oh, Mary, it's the day, or something. My eyes are clapping shut; it's bed time. Sorry for the beets.

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    1. I'm sorry for the beets too. If I'd waited like one more minute I probably could have bought them but I just couldn't. Also, they weren't actually the sort of beets I wanted but the seed selection was poor. So it's okay.

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  4. Sorry you did not get your beets or the turkey weight you were looking for...I went to a memorial service and my eyes are sliding shut as I type...

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    1. Memorial services can definitely drain a person. I'm sorry.

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  5. We got a 23 pound turkey and we will be having 26 people to Thanksgiving in our little New York apartment. My husband will cook the turkey, but please, pray for me anyway.

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    1. Woman! I thought of you guys while I was looking at those turkeys, thinking that yes, there would be a giant one in your house. I'm glad your husband's cooking it. Still- I simply do not know how you manage to preserve your sanity with 26 people for dinner in one apartment. You're amazing. So is your husband.

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  6. Turkeys are a whole nother beast of a bird. My mom raised a few over the years and the amount of complaining and explaining over them was actually amazing! We never had any. We had guinea fowls once, that was crazy.

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    1. Yeah, I don't think I really want any turkeys. I do love guinea fowl but Mr. Moon says NO!

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  7. We ordered our turkey -- well, Dave did -- and I am happy to be completely absolved from any responsibility regarding its preparation. I don't even know how big it is.

    I do know what you mean about not wanting to wait in line. I also get frustrated in situations like that. But I applaud you for putting back the seeds!

    Maybe No Man Lord or one of your other neighbors will want those roosters? (Dead or alive!)

    A weeklong "fall vacation"? What?!

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    1. I'm sure that No Man Lord would take those roosters gladly. He always has in the past. We just need to, well, you know- kill them.
      Yep. A weeklong fall vacation. Can you believe it?

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  8. I have contacted The Pope - recommending that you receive a sainthood for putting the beet seeds back on the rack - saving a low paid worker from doing the job or ensuring that the pack of seeds did not end up in the garbage. Saint Mary of Lloyd has a nice ring to it don't you think? You could make a lot of money by selling souvenirs at your gate. Little figurines and candles etc..

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    1. Why is there no Bless Our Hearts merch yet??

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    2. You guys! First of all, Mr. P.- thank you for notifying the pope although his holiness probably already got a memo from the Big Guy.
      Who would buy these figurines and candles? No Man Lord is the main person who walks by here everyday and he doesn't even have enough money for running water.
      Maybe I could sell Lloyd sourdough starter online. You think?

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  9. I like what Yorkshire Pudding wrote. I hate standing in line too and you are much kinder than I am. I just leave what I'm buying wherever and leave.

    I left my turkey in the fridge this year to defrost and it took almost a week but it worked. Too late for you I know, sorry.

    When my girlfriend was dying, the last time we saw her, she was telling us that she wanted to get a dog, the size of a turkey. Apparently the size of a turkey for her was 25 lbs. I've never forgotten that and every time I buy a turkey I think of her and smile.

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    1. And now I will think of her too, and smile. Funny how we are triggered to remember certain things, isn't it?
      Since this isn't a very big turkey I'm thinking maybe it will be partially thawed anyway. I'll figure it out. I always do.

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  10. there's a lady here who raises organic chickens and turkeys but damn they are so expensive. $25 - 30 for a chicken, $90 and up for turkeys. I prefer organic and like to support organic farms but that is far out of my budget. well, my daughter does the turkey anyway, I provide the dressing.

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    1. At the nursery yesterday we saw Christmas trees (fir) for $189! I almost passed out. Who would pay that much money for a seven foot tree? And yes- $90 for a turkey seems as absurd.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.