Monday, November 4, 2019

Keeping On Keeping On

Today I tried to reclaim myself or something like that.
I took a walk, albeit a fairly short one. I took the trash and recycle. I did laundry. I went to Publix. I also went to Goodwill because I was feeling as if there was a huge hole in my soul and a cashmere sweater might have gone to some lengths to stuff that hole up with softness and comfort.
I couldn't find one cashmere sweater.
Not one. Not even in the wrong size or in a hideous color.
I did buy a shirt but I'm not very excited about it.

I came home and finished the laundry and moved everything I can move out of the kitchen and the adjoining bathroom, and swept and mopped that whole space.
Not even the smell of Fabuloso and white vinegar and the way the floor feels now on bare feet is making me feel any better. It'll just be filthy again in a few days. As we all know.

So I don't think I've reclaimed myself.

Instead, I feel like one of my knees is about to blow out and I've still got the saddies.
As Sue used to say.

Tomorrow I'm going to hang out with Ms. Magnolia June for awhile. Jason is going to be taking Owen to Jacksonville for an appointment with his neurologist and Lily wants to take Gibson to a movie as a reward for making all A's and B's on his report card. It's a good thing to spend time alone with each child and Gibson deserves that. He's such a sweet boy. Yesterday I kept finding him with his arms around me, looking up at me, saying, "I love you Mer."
This was generally followed with a "Can I have a pickled okra?" but that's okay. I know he does truly love me, just as I love him and it means so much to me that he has my middle name as his first name. I told him yesterday in fact that when his parents told me what they were naming him after he was born, I cried. I was astonished!
And I bought more pickled okra at the store today.
So Maggie and I will have a good time together. She left her dollies and a bear in the library yesterday and they are like little tableaux just waiting for her to come back and reanimate.

I wonder if I'm a little sad because my husband is leaving in just a few days to go back to Canada. As I've said a million times before, I do not mind being alone at all and actually cherish the experience. Still, I will miss him. 

Well, this will pass and in a day or two my tiny seeds will have done their miracle thing and will be pushing tiny green leaves through the dirt. I love the way the greens all look like little sets of ears when they first appear. No matter how old I get, how many times I do this, it's always a cheerful and even amazing thing to me. And of course, I always plant too many seeds and never thin the sproutlings enough but hey! Maybe this year I'll be a bit more heartless about pinching out enough seedlings to allow the ones remaining to truly thrive. 
It just seems so cruel which is absolutely ridiculous.
Cruel to be kind. Right? 
Sometimes, sure. 
Many times not. 
It is good and wise to know the difference. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Sleep well and soundly tonight. Tomorrow will be a good day.

  2. What a cool reward for Gibson! I hope Owen's appointment goes well. I always hated those when I was a kid because of the blood work, the EEG's, changing drugs or dosages and the fact that I sometimes had seizures anyway and always felt like crap afterward. I hope Owen has an easier time. Have fun with your girl.

    1. Thank you, e. It went well and although I know he hates it, it's not so bad for him as his medications have controlled his seizures from the get-go. We are so lucky.

  3. I put together several things to say about Lily's lovely bunch of children, and then it all slips away. I do like Miss Goldilocks group of children, especially the teddy under the hand knit scrap of blanket. Wishing Owen the best for his evaluation, and Gibson a nice reward. My, those boys have come up!

    1. Haven't they grown?
      Miss Goldilocks takes care of her children very carefully. And Levon helps. Of course it's all about having something to push on wheels that he's mostly interested in. Still, he does put the babies in and sometimes even covers them.

  4. I always plant too many seeds and every year I plan to thin and every year I fail to do that.

    Is Mr. Moon hunting again? Are they driving again? That's one long ass car trip.

    1. I just checked and my arugula is already up! Bless that beautiful green! No wonder it's known as "rocket" in GB.
      And yes, there will be thinning necessary. Oh dear.
      Yes. Mr. Moon is hunting again but this time he's flying.

  5. The flux of life. I understand the sadness. Spending time with your beautiful curly haired Maggie will certainly help.

  6. Well, some days are like that, aren't they? Just kind of blue. Sorry you didn't find a good sweater. Maybe you need to try out the next-closest Goodwill!

    As I know I've said before, I'm lousy at thinning seeds for just the same reason. I did thin my foxgloves this summer, though, and it made a huge difference in survival and plant health.

    1. Yes. I think another Goodwill is in order. Perhaps while Mr. Moon is gone I'll just take an entire day to go from one to another. Wish you could go with me!
      Yes. Thinning is important. I must remember that!

  7. seeing seeds that have sprouted and pushed their way through the surface is one of the joys of life.


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