Friday, August 5, 2016

What A Drag It Is Getting Old

So. You know how I'm always talking about the black, greasy dust of Lloyd?
That's it right there. Uh-huh. And that's just part of what came off some mini-blinds today. I should be so ashamed.
I ain't.
Fuck it.
As I texted Lily and Jessie today, I should soak those mini blinds in the tub and then scrub them and then possibly throw them away. In my defense (as if there were any way to defend oneself against such blatant filth), I never even look at those blinds. They are behind some curtains which I never touch because my bathroom is open to all of Lloyd unless the windows stay covered. I mean OPEN! In theory, it's a lovely and light-filled space but in reality, it's a voyeur's dream come true unless the windows remain blinded and curtained. And since I am the one who uses that bathroom, it's not a voyeur's dream, it's a neighbor's nightmare. I mean- who wants to see ME naked and brushing my teeth?
No one. That's who. Even my cats avert their eyes. When I moved here, I entertained the idea of building trellises with the bamboo which grows so fiercely in the yard and training some sort of dense plant to grow on them in front of the bathroom windows. I mean, I was a Girl Scout. I know how to lash shit, goddammit, and not in the S&M kind of way, either. But have I lashed so much as a trivet?
Oh hell no.
Anyway, as another friend of mine and I were saying in texts today, we both wish that a crew would just show up and completely clean our houses, top to bottom. This is the sort of super hero team I'd be interested in knowing. And quite frankly, at this point, a super hero cleaning team with super cleaning powers is about my one hope of ever getting this house truly clean.
Bless this old house's heart. Between my natural and innate hatred of housecleaning and aging, it's just getting harder and harder to keep things clean.
I'm getting old, y'all.
When I told Owen that yes, we could make cookies yesterday he was so delighted. And then he said, "I didn't know you'd be up for the challenge anymore, Mer!"
How old does that child think I am?


And let me tell you something else- no matter how I feel, this house in Apalachicola is going to happen. My husband wants this so much that it's not even debatable. This is HUGE for him, to build this house that he's been planning in his mind for over twenty years. Although I do not believe in astrology one bit, he is a Cancer. Which is the most home-centered sign there is. And if there is one thing I know in this life, it's that being partnered with someone who loves home and family is about the best thing that can happen to you if those two things matter to you as well.
And they matter to me.
Again, I repeat- I do not believe in that astrology shit one bit but a friend of mine who did my chart told me that although my birth sign is Leo, I am far more Cancer.

So. There you go. The Leo part of me wonders why I'm not onstage while my minions are cleaning my house and the Cancer part of me wants nothing more than a clean, peaceful home where my children and grandchildren feel happy and contented and welcome and peaceful.

It' they say.

All right. I'm drinking a martini and roasting a chicken and I'm about to go cook some okra and tomatoes with a few green beans thrown in.
Look at this.

Red okra blossom. Jeez, y'all. That's just pure pretty.

This garden ain't done yet for the summer.

I think of Roseanne Barr and how she introduced the term "Domestic Goddess" to the world.
Maybe when I die, my obituary shall call me one of those, while making it quite clear that house-cleaning was not something that interested me in the least.

I'm feeling a little Stonesy as I tend to do when I drink a martini.

Some nice photos there of the boys and a huge shout-out to Valium and remember those ten Valium that I got before I left for Cuba?
I still have quite a few left.

I'm doing the best I can.
As are you.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. That is the reason why I loathe mini blinds. We have two sets in the house and if my husband wasn't here they would be gone. There is no way to thoroughly clean them. And cats fuck them up going in and out.
    I actually would love going to people's house to clean for them. I wouldn't want to get paid but they would have to let me be and not micromanage. I go into a lot of homes, so many, and I love leaving things better than I found it. That's how I was raised. Leave everything better than you found it. It can just be a counter top or wiping a shelf in a fridge or taking out the garbage. If I am ever in Florida I will clean something for you. ;-)

    1. Addendum - That rule doesn't apply to my own house. I can only do so much before I don't give a shit.

    2. You could probably make more money doing cleaning than in the job you have. And bonus- you wouldn't have to actually talk to anyone! I think you should consider this, Birdie. And now I will contemplate what I would let you clean if you came to Florida. (Nothing, you silly woman. I wouldn't let you clean anything.)

  2. You are the best.

    I didn't know you had to clean mini-blinds? :)

    1. One would think that I didn't know that either. And it's not a law that you have to clean them. But Lord, they do get dirty.

  3. Oh hell, my house is a mess too. I tell myself I could be worse and be a hoarder, and it isn't Grey Gardens around here.


    1. My house is getting uncomfortably close to looking like Gray Gardens, now that you mention it.

  4. Today is 1 year exactly since I *semi-retired* (quit my full time job). You would think my house should be immaculate.....but I'm not an immaculate person. Tidy, yes.....immaculate, NO. My one set of blinds in the kitchen looks just like yours..... it's on my *list* of things to do . They are a pain in the butt
    That okra flower is spectacular, to say the least
    Susan M

    1. I try to be tidy too. And I'm obsessive about keeping the kitchen fairly tidy.
      All in all though, I'd much rather admire okra flowers than clean.

  5. Please send cleaning crew here next. I am looking at your live traffic feed, its fascinating. NJ (me), another NJ, Birmingham Alabama, Rutland Vermont, Romania, Palmer Alaska, London uk, another UK, Lebanon Virginia, Baton Rouge. All in the last 20 minutes. You are loved and read by many. Thank you for making my day better every day.

    1. I hardly ever look at that traffic feed but when I do I have to admit that I'm somewhat amazed.

  6. Omg I feel the same way about my house! Mini blinds, ugh! I just threw out the ones in my living room and let the light pour in. I'm going to have to do the same with the bedroom ones. Wooden slat blinds? Are they any better? And that housecleaning thing. It NEVER ends. And you can never get to everything. Clean bathrooms. Cleanish kitchen, tidy living room. Don't look in any of the cupboards or closets! Things might cascade out! Oh I could go on an on. There's so much to attend to. So please send your superhero cleaning crew over here when you're done. I'm in sore need. On another note, think how clean and shiny that new house is going to be!

    1. Wooden slat blinds ARE better in that they don't show dirt as much. Other than that- no.
      Sounds like you "clean" like I do.
      The idea of a new clean and shining house is pretty awesome but how long do you think that'll last? Not long enough, I bet.

  7. the dust is getting to the point here that I'm considering cleaning house. I hate to clean house. obviously. I never did get my okra planted this year. I'm getting ready to pull the poor tomatoes out. they are still blooming like mad but too hot to set fruit. and the green beans need to come out too. they're just making tiny tough beans.

    1. Gardening can break our hearts, can't it? Sometimes I truly wonder why I bother.
      I love that- "considering cleaning house."
      I hear you. It takes a lot of forethought.

  8. I am a Cancer and my aversion to not being home is unhealthy.

  9. That okra blossom is beautiful!

    Dave is a cancer too. Sometimes I get frustrated with him because he's so homey. But like you, I see the value in it!

    I hope you come to love this house in Apalach. I know the change is scary. I'd be scared too.


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