Friday, August 26, 2016

Just...Oh, Fuck It

You know how I always say, "I took a walk and did not die"?
Well, today I did die. Okay. Obviously not really but I think that my human mind left my body due to the torture of it all and let some insect part of my neural system continue to make my legs go on because the alternative, which would be to lie down in the dirt and let ants crawl all over me, was not acceptable.


Also I saw a Confederate flag in front of a trailer and it made me so angry that I wanted to go knock on the door and say, "Fuck you! We live in a very integrated and mixed community and your flag is a spit in the heart to everyone of color who lives here and you are a jerk and an asswad and a racist and a bully and a shitty, shitty human being and that American flag you have flying in front of your thirty-dollar-a-month-rented-trailer doesn't prove otherwise. You fuck!"
The Confederate flag was a small thing like you might wave in a KKK parade, stuck in the dirt right by the mailbox and the American flag was a large one and that one is right by the trailer door and somehow, that made it even worse.
I thought of what Kathleen used to say about people who fly Confederate flags which is at least you know what you're dealing with. 
And I don't know. I mean,who the hell WANTS to live in a shitty trailer like that and the answer to that is no one unless the alternative is sleeping in their car and I should have some compassion for that and I think about the fact that for some people, the only way they can feel as if they are as good as or better than someone else is to put down an entire other perceived race of people but that's still shitty stupid thinking and my give-a-damn-meter as the dear old (may he rest in peace) ferry captain A.P. Whaley used to say, is at zero.

So. Hot. Tortured. Pissed. Upset. Saddened.

That is me right now.

And by the way- the people who used to live in that trailer had a Make America Great sign in their yard. They've moved up in the world to a house which I've loved forever-  a very old house, tucked away on a side road under great, spreading live oaks where no one ever goes except for the three folks who live on it. They took their sign with them and it makes me ill to see it.

Anyway, I need to take a shower and get to town. It's lunch day at the Indian buffet with as many of the kids and grands as can come and so there will probably be a picture of Hank holding babies and that is a cheerful thought.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. It's tempting to steal or burn that little flag. But what use?

  2. Well, these are the pp who are voting for DT, and there's a reason. They are poor, uneducated, angry, disenfranchised and fed up. I don't want to know them, I don't even want to be around them, but I do want the situation in which these pp have to live (and the cycle does get so bad that it's not really a choice some times)to really change. I want poverty which causes addictions, linked to lack of education which causes poverty..blahblah to change in a significant way. And so do they - that's why they are voting for T. I wouldn't, even if you put a gun to my head. He is manipulatively speaking to/for them - it is false hope - and they won't get what they want. (And they'll feel fucking beat down and betrayed again and so the cycle continues.) But it is hope. And they sure haven't been served by anyone in any true sense for how long...?
    God love & bless H & I certainly do-I will cast my vote loud and clear, but I'm feeling a bit depressed, hopeless, lonely, disenfranchised and angry lately too (did I mention poor?) I can sort of relate, in a weird way.
    I just want to understand them, to get what is behind all of this. Not excuse them, but just get it. (not the prejudice thing, that is just fucked!!) Probably because I want the same thing-to be understood, to be helped.
    I love you, Mary, you know I do and I'm just fucking cranky today - (and all those other adjectives) been a bad/hard week. So I apologize for my rant and especially if I've pissed anyone off, but this is how I feel and that's life.
    Love to you, Liv
    Jesus christ I talk too much!

  3. I know what you mean. It does seem like an aggression to display that flag. It makes me crazy too, every time I go back to Florida, and yet -- what am I going to do? We just have to recognize that some people, as you said, are displacing their dissatisfaction with their own lives and imposing it on completely blameless others.

    1. (Obviously I don't mean we shouldn't act against it when appropriate -- as in, voting for the right people and standing up for civil rights and that kind of thing. Obviously we need to do that too. But sometimes, in certain circumstances, we let stupidity slide.)

    2. Am hearing you all on this. Steve l wonder as an American in UK what you think if our crazy political palavers?

    3. Maggi here and below Sorry!

  4. some of those people are victims of circumstance but many I think were/are just lazy and want the world handed to them on a platter and when it isn't and they see people who are supposed to be inferior to them doing better, well, then it's cause they were cheated. not because they are lazy ne'er do wells in the first place. fortunately I don't see any confederate flags here in my little town.

  5. We have the stars n bars over here in UK would you believe


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