Thursday, August 8, 2013

Gallop On, Night Mares

I am exhausted and you would be too if you'd just had the night I had.
I spent at least a good part of it going to a concert, doing narcotics and getting tattooed with a friend of mine. Maybe she was the one who got tattooed. Whatever. Those narcotics wiped my memory of a lot, including the entire concert and I don't even know what sort of narcotics they were but the word narcotic kept coming up. Also? I couldn't find my phone and  you know how damn annoying that is.
To make it worse, I can't remember one damn thing about the concert. I don't even know who was playing.

My dreams lately have been crazy. One night recently I dreamed that suddenly and without warning, my eyebrows had bloomed and blossomed and grown together so thickly that I appeared to have hypertrichosis, otherwise known as werewolf syndrome and it looked not unlike this:


Y'all, it was scary as shit.

The worst, however, was two nights or so ago when I dreamed that my DEAD MOTHER CALLED ME and I was so shocked I just gave the phone to Mr. Moon and fell down on the floor. Turns out that whole death thing was a hoax. She's living in Texas and working at a roadhouse or something.
Oh Lord. No.
She threatened, not long before she died, to leave the assisted living and go get a job as a waitress but I didn't really think she'd do it.

Anyway, I have to wake up for sure and for real because my boys are coming today and you know what that means and I don't recall seeing any peanut butter around here lately which is Owen's favorite food these days so I'm feeling a bit panicky. I need to go locate it. That boy is growing so fast that he has sudden and immediate needs for peanut butter because nothing else will supply the needed calories and fat. Otherwise he might just disappear before my eyes.

Or maybe I'm just dreaming that.
Whatever.

I think I better check my body for tattoos, too. And drink some more coffee to try and counteract these damn narcotics.
Narcotics?
What is going on in my brain?
I have no idea.

Oh god. I'm too old for such shenanigans.
Off to shave my forehead.

Love...Ms. Moon

18 comments:

  1. Love this post! That just entertained me better than any $10 movie ever could. Isn't the brain funny? Narcotics and bushy eyebrows of all things...

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  2. Hmmm. Drugs and tattoos? I hope that I didn't play a part in that!

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  3. When you check for tatoos, be sure to check between your toes.

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  4. Hahahaha. Laughing hysterically. Except not about the phone call from your mother. Gawd. Dreams can be so real and so terrifying and eerie. Where do we go when we die? Texas?

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  5. I had dreams about my mother for years after her death. Then one night I turned to her and told her that she wasn't supposed to be here, she had died. I haven't dreamed about her sence. Now I kinda miss dreaming about her.

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  6. I can't imagine dreaming about your mother would ever be missed. But the other, especially the eyebrows are pretty hysterical. And you and Elizabeth have been wanting to get tattoos so maybe this is telling you something... Sweet Jo

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  7. Those dreams would scare the bejesus out of me, because often when I dream something, it happens ... maybe not in the exact same detail, but the emotions that the dream brings up ... yeah ... just a couple days later ... sure as hell.

    Loved the entry.

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  8. Wow. If your subconscious is trying to tell you something, I'll be damned if I know what it could be!! :)

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  9. This made me LOL at work. Those dreams of yours are pretty wild, lady!

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  10. Bushy eyebrows! Around here women get their eyebrows tattoo'd on and then they add fake eyelashes. Yeowza.

    I ain't dreaming at all, too anxious. WTF.

    But I love the hell out of you. The devil is beating his wife??? hahahahahahahhahahaha.

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  11. I used to dream a lot about my mom after she died. I remember one dream where she came back from the dead and my brother & I stashed her in an apartment in Boone, NC. She kept wanting to go see my dad and we didn't know how to tell her he had remarried. Don't need a psychiatrist to figure THAT one out :)

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  12. So, here is unsolicited advice :)
    I, too, have crazy, scriot-worthy, lalapalooza type dreams. Seriosuly.
    But, I discovered that most often, when I wear a breathe right strip to bed, i can hardly recall my dreams...which is saying alot.
    I have some sleep apnea, and i guess my oxygen starved brain creates all this craziness as a result.
    It's worth a shot. Cheaper and wayyyy more attractive than a CPAP mask!!

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  13. As I read that first paragraph, I was right there with you. I bought it and quickly scrolled down to see what had precipitated your wild night. Oooooh, it was A DREAM.

    Maybe I need more coffee too.

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  14. Jill- I was fairly amused too. And glad to wake up and know that I had not been taking narcotics.

    Jo- If Keith was the culprit, I'd have been doing heroin! I shall not give my Keith!

    Elizabeth- Oh, it's all crazy soup. Of course you're probably involved! But you were not in this dream, dear.

    Nancy- Oh my god. That's a good idea!

    Denise- I was born there so maybe that's where I'll return. I have NO idea what my mother was doing there.

    Lisa- I hate dreaming about dead people. I hate it.

    Sweet Jo- Probably my whole skin thing on my forehead has something to do with it. As to the tattoos- I've always sort of wanted one.

    Stubblejumpin Gal- If my mother calls me, I am well and truly fucked. And I don't plan to do any narcotics but hey! you never know.

    Mama D- That I'm a nut case?

    Grady Doctor- Think I should knock off the Benadryl?

    Beth Coyote- That really must be a southern expression. Poor old devil's wife. I should try that eyebrow tattoo thing. My eyebrows are like my worst feature.

    Bug- Yeah. Dr. Freud won't be required there.

    Michelle- But what would I do for entertainment?
    I'll consider if things get too wacky.

    Lisa- Haha! That's great!

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  15. I had a crazy ass dream the other night too. I don't remember it now but it was unsettling. I hate those dreams that leave me feeling out of sorts in the morning.

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  16. Most days I can't wait to crawl into bed. After a night like yours I can't wait to crawl out.

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  17. It IS very interesting to think about what your brain might be saying. I think some loose interpretation of dreams can sometimes be useful, though I don't go in for it too seriously, because I think a lot of our dreams are just electric impulses that mean little or nothing.

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