Yesterday while I was driving I felt as if something was in my eye and it almost drove me crazy but I was already crazy from what this Solaraze is doing to my face, even though I quit putting it on my face because it was driving me crazy. I am supposed to apply it for FIFTY MORE DAYS! and I don't think I can.
Oozing, scabbing places on my face, a small child did look at my forehead in wonder and fear two days ago. I saw it in his eyes.
And this morning my eye feels weird and it's swollen beneath it, puffy like a little waterbag and there's a crusty, itchy place on the outside corner of it and it's giving me ANXIETY and I had so much laundry to do and there's stuff in the refrigerator from before I left and a party tomorrow and I'll have to go to the grocery store. I have to. And it's hot and it's steamy and there's unpacking to do and somehow, somehow here I am, SLAM back into reality of falling trees and branches and an overgrown, underproducing garden although we picked enough green beans yesterday to serve the world.
Well. One foot in front of the other, of course, that is the only way to do it.
Blink, blink, I will probably not go blind.
Oh my dear, as Owen says. Oh my dear. He said that to May when she was staying with him once, he was examining her as a doctor would. "You have animals in your mouth," he said sadly. A serious diagnosis.
Somehow, somehow, I think I have animals in my eye and possibly a worm in my brain, the way he does sometimes when he is being wild.
I will probably not go blind. Why does anyone live in Florida? Don't come here people, you will get animals in your mouth and a worm in your brain and your face will rot off from skin cancer and the mosquitoes will suck your blood and the ants will sting your feet and when you go home, you will have to wash the mildew from your clothes and you may go blind.