Saturday, August 3, 2013

Oh My Dear. A Message From The Anti-Tourism Agency

Yesterday while I was driving I felt as if something was in my eye and it almost drove me crazy but I was already crazy from what this Solaraze is doing to my face, even though I quit putting it on my face because it was driving me crazy. I am supposed to apply it for FIFTY MORE DAYS! and I don't think I can.
Oozing, scabbing places on my face, a small child did look at my forehead in wonder and fear two days ago. I saw it in his eyes.
And this morning my eye feels weird and it's swollen beneath it, puffy like a little waterbag and there's a crusty, itchy place on the outside corner of it and it's giving me ANXIETY and I had so much laundry to do and there's stuff in the refrigerator from before I left and a party tomorrow and I'll have to go to the grocery store. I have to. And it's hot and it's steamy and there's unpacking to do and somehow, somehow here I am, SLAM back into reality of falling trees and branches and an overgrown, underproducing garden although we picked enough green beans yesterday to serve the world.
Well. One foot in front of the other, of course, that is the only way to do it.
Blink, blink, I will probably not go blind.

Oh my dear, as Owen says. Oh my dear. He said that to May when she was staying with him once, he was examining her as a doctor would. "You have animals in your mouth," he said sadly. A serious diagnosis.
Somehow, somehow, I think I have animals in my eye and possibly a worm in my brain, the way he does sometimes when he is being wild.

I will probably not go blind. Why does anyone live in Florida? Don't come here people, you will get animals in your mouth and a worm in your brain and your face will rot off from skin cancer and the mosquitoes will suck your blood and the ants will sting your feet and when you go home, you will have to wash the mildew from your clothes and you may go blind.


  1. Animals in your mouth? Oh no!

    Owen is the best.

    Welcome home Mary. I have missed your missives from Lloyd.


  2. The Solarize does not sound like an improvement over liquid nitrogen. That leaves a scab, but it doesn't last all that long. That just sounds awful. Stout heart.

  3. Was this the stuff that the doctor said he didn't recommend because it would mark up your face and we all scoffed at that because we aren't vain? Or is this the stuff that he said is better?

  4. Invisigal- well, for good or bad I am definitely back.

    Allison- seriously.

    NOLA- the second. I believe I am probably not reacting well to the shit.

  5. Oh Mary honey I'm sorry about that. Are you allergic is there something else they can try? I don't think we should suffer so from medicine that is supposed to help us.

  6. Mary, this is your Momma LO yeklling at you and I cannot keep my mouth shut a moment longer.

    Have you gone back to the Doctor to show him this endless oozing and scabbing and if not why the hell not???? This does not sound like a proper cure to me. Pulleeze go and have it checked fercrissakes.
    Thank you.

  7. What is it they are telling you to put on your face? I missed that one. Do you have suspicious spots or is this preventative?

    I have been told to keep retin A on my face by derms before, but I dont because of the sun... This sounds way different.

    Hope you feel and actually get better soon! (Welcome home) :-)

  8. I am seriously worried about this face thing...Get thee to the doctor ASAP. This just does not seem right. As for why anyone would live in Florida, your guesses are better than mine. I am stuck here, at least for the time being.

    I hope your face can be put right quickly.

  9. But I do love the diagnosis of "animals in your mouth" Oh don't kids help everything!

  10. Owen is funny with the animals in the mouth, but very much right on with the comment. There are animals of a sort that live there. Shhhh....don't tell him.


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