It's been a little crazy around here already today and I feel guilty because I'm sitting in my beautiful office with the jet-plane-engine fan blowing not-hot air on me and I can look out and see my still blooming phlox and occasionally Elvis and the chickens and the leaves fluttering down in my backyard. They know fall is coming and these, the least-attached (does that make them the most Zen-like?) are letting go early and look a little like yellow butterflies and I also just saw one of those.
I feel guilty because I haven't made the bed/done the dishes.
Honestly. That's ridiculous. But I took a walk and I've got clothes hanging on the line (I am trying very hard these days to pronounce the "th" in "clothes" because I never did, my whole life, just said, "close" and now I want to pronounce it correctly, don't fucking ask me why.
So this morning there was a huge sound of machinery and THEN, I heard a radio come on like the Voice of God, then turned down a bit but I could still hear a man's voice either ranting or preaching, one or the other, and then music started up and I could hear things like, "You are the hope!" and I knew it had been preaching and oh god. No.
So I went for my walk and I saw that the machinery was two things- one, the guys at the church next door were doing yardwork (and they keep that place so tidy and neat) and two, there was a truck the size of Wisconsin and it appeared to be digging holes in the ground for power poles, I guess.
And the radio was set at the church, outside, so that the yardworkers could hear the Message Of God over the sounds of the machinery and well, you know.
No, no, no.
When I got back from my walk the truck was still there, the radio still blasting another sermon. A ranty sermon and the preacher was probably a good preacher but I ain't got the patience and I ain't a Christian and so I walked over there in my sweat-stink clothes and I talked to a very nice young man and I said, "I'm your neighbor. I live next door. And I'm sorry to complain because y'all are such good neighbors but I am trying to write something and your radio is very loud and it's hard to write while listening to a sermon."
That was good, right? It made it sound less like I hated his GOD NOISE and more like I was a little interested in the sermon but it was interfering with my (possible) work.
And he smiled and he turned it down and now the truck is gone too but all of this has made me realize that they're supposed to lay a sidewalk in front of my house at some point (it was supposed to happen in July but, well, no, it did not) and that's going to be another sort of hell.
Anyway, it's peaceful now again and I'm staying in Lloyd today, all day unless some unforeseen emergency arises and I hope it doesn't. I feel better today and I just want to move slowly about this place I love on this beautiful day and do tiny things in my tiny world and be grateful for it all- feeling better and clothes on the line and chickens and food to eat and flowers blooming and a bed to make where I sleep with my love and running water to wash my dishes in when I get around to do doing those things.
It's that sort of day and it has been given unto me and to ignore it, to not breathe it all in and appreciate it would be a wrongness of which I will not be a part of.
And I'm going to write a letter to that dentist because the more I think about what that woman did yesterday, the angrier I get. It's not just for my particular precious baby but for all of the babies she gets paid to interact with.
Okay. That's the story from here.
Time to hang some more cloTHes on the line.