Thursday, August 15, 2013

Feeling Like James Brown 'Cause I Feel GOOD

Today makes me wonder if maybe I'm not the teensiest bit bi-polar. Or maybe that's like saying I have gluten intolerance if I get a stomach ache after eating half a loaf of bread. Not that I'd DO that, but you know what I mean. Taking a natural thing and turning it into a diagnosis.
I mean, everyone has her ups and downs, right? Part of life.

But golly, I've just been in such a good mood today. Is it relief not to be going to the island? Could that be it? I don't know. But I have to admit that I did go to Goodwill and I spent almost fifty dollars but for those fifty dollars (not quite) I got four pairs of winter pants for Gibson, a lamp, a small pretty dish, six napkins in a beautiful shade of mulberry, and three dresses. One of the dresses is linen and has deep pockets and is not a beautiful shade of anything but is brown and I can live with that. It's for home wearing. One of the dresses is an April Cornell and looks never to have been worn and it's got the prettiest spring green in it and one is a silk dress from the Gap and yeah, yeah, whatever. It too has that beautiful shade of mulberry in its print and I seriously don't think it was ever worn either. And here's the thing- I really, truly enjoyed shopping today. I didn't stress out in the least, no panic. A girl came into the store looking for an AT&T place that no one knew anything about and I let her use my phone and tried to help her and that felt just plain good. And I had other stops to make and made them and never once felt my usual panic about getting home.
I felt what I think normal must feel like.
And isn't it odd that we should even have some internal register of what "normal" should feel like? Especially when we so rarely feel it.

This was probably part of it:

A text I got from Lily who had gone to the mall with the boys to meet a friend. If you can't see the picture she sent, it looks like this.

My little Rolling Stone Fan Man. Do you think that MerMer should find him a Rolling Stone shirt for his birthday? Well of course.
He is growing so fast right now. His legs are getting so long and skinny. He is reminding me of pictures of his grandfather as a boy who looked more colt than child. I am wondering how tall he will be when he grows up. We shall have to wait and see. 
And as a side note- they are selling Rolling Stone T-shirts at the mall? 
Wonders never cease or at least they can last for fifty years or more. 

And now it's time to start supper and Mr. Moon has just mowed the yard with his fancy lawn mower and so I bet he's in a good mood. There is a part of me which wishes I was on the island, especially as right now, this second, the weather is clear as can be although there have been showers throughout the day. 
Well, too late to second guess. 
And I'm not going to second guess where this mood has come from. I'm just going to accept it, be glad of it. I swear to you, I almost want to tell my husband that I want to go OUT for supper. On a Thursday night! What?! 

Where is Ms. Moon and what have you done with her? 

And where can I send the thank-you note?

Yours In Either Normalcy Or Mania...Ms. Moon Who Will Take It, Whichever It Is


  1. I snicker every time you talk about being on (or off) the island because "being on the island" is teenage slang for being a virgin.

    I'm glad you're having a great day today, Saint MerMer of the Island.

  2. Isn't it great to get a taste of normal occasionally? I feel truly elated when I get a day, or a few hours like that. And I always imagine that's how other folk feel most of the time. Sometimes I get carried away; manic? I get so excited that I've managed to engage in chit-chat with a shopkeeper (or similar) that I don't know when to shut up.
    I go to the charity shops and buy clothes/jewellery that I would wear at the time, but the time doesn't last . . . I am slowly learning, with drawers full of clothes that I would wear if . . .
    O my, it's twenty to three in the morning! I hope you're still feeling good x

  3. Glad that you are feeling better. Me too--just got back from my secret island where it rained for two days. But it was nice to sleep in the v-berth on the boat and listen to the rain on the hatch. Such a wonderful way to sleep.

  4. I love that Owen knows you love the Stones. And I love that he is starting to love them, too.

  5. There actually is a disorder that is a sort of "bipolar lite". I wish I could remember the name of it because I think I am. The reason I have never pursued the diagnosis is it makes no difference. I am tired of medication and it not working. in fact, I recently saw a Naturopath and she thinks the medication I am on could be causing the anxiety and depression. That is really fucked. I never considered that.

    My mom and I used to talk about the days we felt "good" because they happened and it felt so weird. We wondered if that is how normal people felt.

  6. Why classify your moods? Just enjoy them when they turn in a positive direction. :)

    It IS amazing that the Stones and the Beatles are still regular fodder for t-shirts.

  7. Owen's face. He looked so pleased to have found you that t- shirt.

  8. As I was reading the post and you were talking about your good day and wondering about why it was good, I was thinking "don't questions it". And then at the end of the post you said the same thing. I think normal IS ups and downs and like you described here, when I have a great day with a good outlook I just tell myself to go with it and be glad the good ones come around.

    Owen - he just gets more precious every day!

  9. Take it where and when you can get it! Lots of love to you on this lovely Friday in Florida.

    By the did rain, my heart skipped a little beat, and then it stopped. The rain, not my heart.
    That better not be all we get!

  10. Nancy- And every time I go back to Cozumel, I feel a little like a virgin. So there is that. And also? Everywhere you go on the island are images of The Virgin. Mmmm....

    Bugerlugs- Boy. Can I relate to all of THAT! Yep. And thank you. It's a new and different day but I still feel fine.

    Syd- Rain is the very best lullaby of all, isn't it? And being in a V-berth on the water is an adult's sweet cradle.

    Gradydoctor- I keep trying to segue him to The Beatles but so far, he is resisting. And that's okay. His tastes will become more sophisticated. Maybe.

    Birdie- "Bi-Polar Lite". Yeah, I can see that. But as you say- whatever. It is what it is. I suppose you could wean (carefully) off that medication and see if it helps. But please- do it under medical supervision. I've seen people really go into some bad, crazy places when abruptly getting off of some anti-depressants.

    Steve- And to me, it's even crazier to think that the Stones just got off a very successful tour. FIFTY FUCKING YEARS! Rock and roll will never die?

    Annicles- You saw that! Exactly! My baby boy. I love him so much.

    Jill- Yep. You are exactly right although of course it's human nature to want to be able to know what causes something so that we can replicate the good and avoid the bad. Sometimes though, there's just no way to figure it out.
    And yes, Owen is so very precious, isn't he?

    Yobobe- I'm very glad it wasn't your heart that quit. Indeed I AM! Now- I'm wishing you more rain. A lovely, big (but not TOO scary) storm with great gray curtains of water falling for a long time.

  11. Oh it is just good to appreciate feeling good. :D

  12. I love that Owen loves the Stones and I know for a fact that they are all the more special to him because he's peeped how much his MerMer loves them. That boy MUST HAVE a Stones T-shirt for his birthday and yes, he is really stretching up!


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