Wednesday, August 14, 2013

A List Of Completely Unrelated Topics

1. Yoplait Greek 100 sucks.

2. Any fucking person who leaves me a voice mail with a name and a call-back number that I have to listen to at least three times to get because the caller is saying them so quickly or not clearly enough obviously doesn't really give a shit if I call them back or not. 

3. All those goddam LED lights on every fucking appliance and electrical device in the world? STOP IT! I pretty much know the fan's on if air is blowing from it. I don't need a light on top of it that would double for an alien-landing light to tell me it's on. Okay? In my room I have to deal with LED lights from the fan, the router, the VCR (even if it's not on, I swear and yes, it's a VCR), and a battery back-up power strip which, for some reason has enough lights on it to mimic a miniaturized version of Las Vegas. I like to sleep in the dark for some reason. Maybe because I am a human who has evolved that way?

4. Just because you use the words "Trooper" or "Police" or "Veterans" in your phone call to solicit money doesn't make me want to send you any. I promise. And I WILL hang up on you. 

5. I have no idea why but I still like the song "Brown Sugar." I suppose I really have lost my mind.

6. Ants can get into a capped jar of peanut butter to the extent that when the lid is removed, it's like a horror movie in there. No. Really. 

7. You can be so tired that you think you'll die and your grandson can spill his orange juice and it somehow manages to get into the silverware drawer and your other grandson can poke you in the eye and they can go for eight hours without a nap and one of them poop twice and the other once and you can still end up being charmed to an unbelievable degree. 

Here's Gibson when he finally did fall asleep.

And here's Owen looking at the world through my glasses.

Today he was very much into pretending and at one point, he pretended he was Gibson's father. Gibson was riding the rocking horse and Owen said, "Great job, son! I so proud of you!"

You know what that says to me? That his daddy is a very, very fine daddy. In fact, everything those boys do is a reflection of the parenting they get, whether it's the way Owen and Gibson hug and kiss each other or the fact that Gibson's first phrase is, "I love you."
And nothing in the world could make me happier.

8. If you really want to get a grandson to pick up his toys, throw his grandfather under the bus. "Boppy will be so upset if you don't pick up the toys. He told me last night that he knows you can do it and that he wants you to."
For some reason, in my house at least, this works. Or it did today. After Owen picked up all the toys I hugged him and said, "I'm really proud of you." He hugged me back and said, "I proud of you."

We're all pretty proud of each other around here, obviously.

9. If there's a happier flower than the zinnia, I've never met it. 

10. I think the very best thing about teletransportation would be that you could travel anywhere in the entire world (maybe the universe!) and never have to poop in any potty but you're own, no matter what. Think about it- you're in Paris or Berlin or Istanbul and you need to poop and you're in a restaurant and you hate pooping in public bathrooms. You could just excuse yourself, teletransport home, dash in, use your own bathroom and teletransport back before anyone really noticed you were gone. 
I vetted this idea to Mr. Moon and he agreed that this would be pretty cool but, as he pointed out, there would probably be a fee involved in this sort of travel. 
There's always a fly in the ointment. 
Or ants in the peanut butter. 

Let's all get some sleep tonight, okay?
Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I love most of all in this fabulous post the part about Owen pretending to be Gibson's dad. Those boys are being raised with so much love and positive attention. They sparkle from it!

  2. Being proud of each other and saying i love you first thing is awesome! :)

    And yep, i totally get the ant thing. Unfortunately. Ever seen the movie, 'THEM"??

  3. I think that's why I liked Bewitched so much ... she just twitched her nose and zap...

    well... I Dream of Jeanie too and let's not forget ~ beam me up Scotty ~

    great post again and love your grandbabies... jeeeeeez are they precious... I proud of you... oh, sigh

    hahaaaaa ... happier flower than a Zinnia... ha

    Daisies are awfully perky

  4. I have no trouble pooping in a restaurant although I rarely do. I would like to teletransport, though -- particularly out to space so that I can look out the window and see the earth hanging in the atmosphere.

  5. I love the way this list of items arcs from the negative to the positive and even fantastic.

    I agree that Owen's comments suggest excellent parenting. If his instinct in mimicking his own father is to praise, rather than condemn, well, that says something.

  6. this made me laugh...and then laugh again

  7. Your teleport point is so awesome... I could use it to visit friends in Belgium and the States... Hey, we probably could land in Lloyd, which we would not do because you might be very unhappy with that. ;o))
    I know about the phone calls. I thought I was the only one with that problem because I still have to translate the numbers from English to Flemish. On the other hand when I leave my number I make sure I say it really slooooow so people CAN write it down at the first go. I do not understand why not all people think of this!
    Keep on rocking Mawmaw... Your diary is such a good read!

  8. If you ever watched a middle-aged man with balding hairline, a pouch, and an ill fitting business suit, hitting the steering wheel of his boring little car in a boring traffic jam on his way to a boring little office job and roaring the lyrics to "Brown Sugar" - well you know...

  9. Angella- It sort of blew me away. I mean- I KNOW what a good daddy Jason is but that was just a ridiculously awesome tribute. And isn't Owen going to be a good daddy someday?

    Mary- No. I've never seen it. Nor do I think I want to.

    gradydoctor- You're in my list-inspiration.

    Carolyn- I was thinking of Star Trek, yes. And daisies are very perky but zinnias come in crayon colors.

    Elizabeth- That WOULD be incredible, wouldn't it?

    Steve Reed- Gibson and Owen are very lucky in their parents.

    Maggie May- Good!

    Photocat- NO! People leave messages and they blow through their numbers and names like wind and fire and sometimes it's almost impossible to hear what they said.

    Sabine- He's honoring his inner young rock star youth. I know.

  10. Funny on Owen being Gibson's dad. And the bribery using Mr. Moon worked! Praise for small things. I just got back from being teletransported to the secret island. It was great.


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