Thursday, January 12, 2012

Who AM I?

You know what? It's been a great day.
It was so busy and wonderful and so good to see everyone who came.
Owen helped me make the focaccia bread. rustica. Or...whatever the hell it was. Here he is, carefully placing tomatoes on it.

Who took my baby grandson and replaced him with this grown-up guy? My god. He was full of surprises today. Every time I see him there is something new going on in that head of his.

Here's Daddy B. and Waylon at our picnic.

What a great lunch! I chopped arugula and other greens from the garden with garlic and a tomato and then added olive oil and vinegar and we ate that and some of Billy's delicious cheese and apples and the bread. The boys had juice and Billy had a Nat Lite and I had a glass of water. I would have joined Billy in the beer but I knew I had too much to do today.
It was perfect, though. For me. Billy probably hated it. But he ate it anyway. He's precious like that.

Our boys went fishing after lunch.

Owen showed Waylon how and he picked it up real quick. That boy is smart! Both of them are. We have two smart boys.

They still don't really play "together" that much. But they're watching each other. They're learning. I was telling Billy that Owen doesn't really like to read books that much and he said that Waylon really does and the next thing I knew, Owen was asking me to read him a book. He handed me one and crawled up in my lap. Like, "Whoa! Waylon likes BOOKS! Maybe I do too!"
They shared potato chips and fed the goats and chickens.
It was a joy, watching those boys who have known each other from birth. It was a joy, seeing Billy.

Then they left and the next group showed up. And that was another joy! Lulumarie (Lorie) had never seen the house but knows it from the blog and she was so sweet. I broke out the bread and cheese and greens and made coffee for everyone and showed them the house and Lorie gave Owen a puzzle and a book and he immediately did the puzzle with Lon as if he'd known him for years (he has, but I doubt he remembers- everyone feels comfortable with Lon) and took him out to show him the tractor and I held Lizzie around the waist and said, "You're not really leaving me are you?" and yet, she had to. They were on their way to Destin for a songwriter festival and I begged Lorie to come back and stay in the Panther room and I hope she does. She brought me a plant from a cutting of one of hers that I admired a long time ago at her house in a blue pot with a seashell and I was so very, very touched.
Lis snuck off while we were looking at the chickens and cleaned up the kitchen.

Yes. This is the sort of friends who make me feel like the richest person in the world.
Yes. These are the kind of people I am so honored to know.

And then they left and I went over a few lines and then it was time to go to rehearsal and I did and now I'm home and I have to tell you- I am doing fine.

Was it all Mexico?
Here's something: When I was there, I didn't take any of my supplements and I haven't taken a damn one since I've been back and I have more energy and feel better than I have in years. Yes, I know. That could be a result of not being depressed. But...I'm still not taking them. I'm on half of my antidepressant dose (and have been for awhile) and my bio-identical hormones and that is that.

And it is getting cooler and the wind is picking up and I need to go make Mr. Moon's lunch for tomorrow and a smoothie, too, and again- here I am- and I am actually looking forward to whatever tomorrow brings.

Hell. I even called Miss Beverly today and made an appointment to get the dogs groomed. I MADE A PHONE CALL TO GET THE DOGS GROOMED!

What is going on with me? I am washing curtains and I am not freaking out and I am not anxious and I am enjoying this one amazing life I have.

Knock wood.

I called Mr. Moon this morning when Owen had kissed me while he was helping me with the dough and said, "Isn't this a wonderful life we are living? Isn't it?"
And we both cried a little.

Yeah. It's been a great day.

Let's see what tomorrow brings. Let's see.


  1. Beautiful!

    Owen really is growing up so quickly - you are so lucky to see so much of him.

  2. Wonderful to hear you're on the up and up. Keep it up. And when times get hard as they will, inevitably at least for a little while think back to this time and know you can get up again.

  3. Alright, who are you and what have you done with my neighbor?

    Seriously happy for you! Now, if you stop cussing and tell me you love those dogs... then I will worry.

    Keep being.

  4. Stars and moon in alignment? Oh I do say that must be.

    Owen looks so different from the photos before your trip to now. He really is looking like a little boy and not a toddler boy. I'm seeing mom's looks here...

    Sending hugs and continued happy times for you!

  5. my god, my god. I'm so happy that you're happy. Happy is real! It can be. I'm so glad it is for you--and the best part of it is: happiness is real (!) which means if it goes away for a while, it can, it WILL return. That has been my biggest revelation over the past year, this beautiful possibiiity, this truth. It IS a beautiful and great life you're living, all of it. The muck and dazzle of it.

  6. It is a wonderful life. I am so glad that you feel good. And that the boys are getting to know each other. Perhaps they will learn how to play and be good friends.
    And the dog grooming--I am sure that they will smell and feel better!

  7. FANtastic. I think I keep typing that in the comment section of your blog. But, it's true. It's nothing but FANtastic. Methinks I need a vacation.

  8. Man, that Owen boy is getting so big. It happens fast doesn't it.

    I took Trazadone for years and years and just went down to half my regular dose a couple of weeks ago and feel so much more energy. In a couple of weeks I'm going to try and cut it out totally because I think meds over the long-term start back firing for me.
    I am so glad you are feeling happy Mary!

  9. Vacation: Noun. A respite. A scheduled period in time in which activity is suspended.

    Best medicine in the world

  10. Jeannie- I am SO aware of how lucky I am. Every moment.

    gradydoctor- Why can't doctors prescribe vacations? I think you should ponder this one, dearheart.

    Elisabeth- Good advice!

    Ms. Fleur- No worries. My entire goal for 2012 is to get rid of these fucking dogs.

    Ellen- I think it was that haircut. He just looks so mature now. And he is! Well, getting that way.

    Sara- Exactly! The muck and dazzle both.

    Syd- They can't smell much worse. Believe me.

    Elizabeth- Yes. But it has to be a real one. A real and long one.

    Rubye Jack- Medicine is more art than science, I do believe. Or at least a real big part of it.

    Omgrrrl- I've just never had such a good reaction to a vacation. Ever. It astounds me.

  11. Such a beautiful post and all I can think to say is... Billy has a giant squid on his arm! :)

  12. it IS a wonderful life!
    Here's to more and more wonder full days.


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