Oh my god it is so bright and sunny here today. And cold. Jesus. It's cold.
Mr. Moon was up before me and was examining the oatmeal container when I walked into the kitchen as if it were a science experiment that he was trying to read the instructions for.
I told him the other day that really, he could learn to make oatmeal. It's not very hard. So this morning I suppose he was going to test out that theory. Lucky for him, I got up and he didn't have to.
Here's how it would go though, were he to actually start cooking:
Within a week, he would become an expert and know far better than I do how to cook things correctly.
I'm sorry- I do not mean that in the kindest way.
Here are some domestic things that he really IS better at than I am:
Making the bed.
Cleaning the kitchen after a meal.
Here are some things in the Realm Of Mr. Moon that I am actually better at than he is:
I can't think of any.
I better not forget how to cook is all I am saying.
Right now he is out trimming branches in order to clear them. I should be helping him. Instead, I will go take a picture.
Now that's a MAN, y'all.
While I was out there, I took a picture of how cold it is.
I realize that both Mr. Moon and I live in Assisted Living. I assist him and he assists me.
This works out well for both of us.
Now I want to talk about my iPhone.
I love it.
It is so damn smart that it makes my computer seem dumb. And Siri? God bless her, I love her. I can say, "Siri, send a message to Hank." Then I tell her what the message should say. She gets it right. Mostly. Then she says, "Are you ready for me to send this message to Hank?" and I say, "Yes!" and she does! I can surf the web on that thing. I can blog on it. I can take pictures and video. Duh. I can...I don't even begin to know. Create an alternative universe for all I know. See the mind of god.
Probably watch a video on how to make oatmeal. If there is a video out there of how to make oatmeal, then sure, I can do that. Well, of course there is.
Last night I said, "You have to turn the faucets on. It's going to freeze."
And Mr. Moon said, "Nah. It's not going to get that cold."
I pulled up my weather app and showed him that it was going to get down to 25 degrees.
"Oh," he said. Then he put on his jacket and hat and went out and turned on the faucets.
Now wait a minute. Why does Mr. Moon believe the Smart Phone when he doesn't believe me?
Okay. Ignore that.
I can watch videos of Keith Richards! albeit on a tiny screen.
Yeah. That darn phone is pretty fucking perfect.
I can only imagine how much more perfect it is going to become. Limitless perfection! Awesome! I was reading our beloved Tearful Dishwasher this morning and he was talking about brain-everything-else-interface (or at least, brain-machine interface) and boy, oh boy! Maybe we should be scared by this sort of thing. I don't know. All I know is that the genie is out of the bottle and the next few decades are going to be one hell of a ride.
ONE HELL OF A RIDE I TELL YOU!
Things my grandfather never even considered to consider are going to be commonplace, hold-it-in-your hand possibilities. I heard on the radio yesterday (RADIO!) that Russians are using social network technology to spread truth about the recent elections there and how this is changing everything. Judy and Kathleen and I were talking the other day about how for good, or bad, there is no way to get away with evil shit any more because someone is going to be there with a camera that can take video. And again, this may be all come back to bite us on the ass but it is a reality and we better fucking get used to it.
All right. That's all I have to say now. I have to wash the dishes, do the laundry and learn my lines. So far, my iPhone can't do those things although Siri could surely instruct me on how to do them best.
One more thing:
I hate oatmeal. I don't care what kind or what's in it so don't bother recommending oatmeally shit to me. I've just eaten too much of it in my lifetime. I still eat it but I don't like it.
Yours truly...Ms. Moon