Saturday, February 21, 2015

A Sort Of Imperfect Perfection

I've only been up for two hours and I've already...eaten breakfast!
I made an omelet with two small brown chicken eggs, greens left over from salad pickings last night, and some aged Havarti cheese.
Let me just say that perhaps carrot tops do not really belong in omelets.
Oh well.

I've also walked to the post office in case you think I'm a complete slug.
Fuck. I am a complete slug. I don't care. Today is so sunny and so warm. The cold air has taken off to give someone else a nip. Fine with me. That bird who sings, "You're sweet! You're sweet!" has been praising me all morning. Is it a mockingbird? It must be. Is he mocking me? Is he telling me I'm sweet because I'm really so mean?
It is possible.

This is the sort of day when anything is possible. The cold replaced by such warmth that I feel as if I could melt in it. Suddenly my sweater feels itchy and I want to replace it with a cotton shirt. The wind comes and goes and shakes the magnolia whose leaves roar with it.

And then are still and the clucking of the hens becomes the most predominant sound again. Far down the tracks a train blows its whistle and it will be here soon. Noise and then quiet, peace and then great mechanical rushing.

Did I tell you that Owen has a loose tooth? His mama told me yesterday and when I saw it was true I actually cried which charmed Owen to pieces. He talked about it later. "You really cried, Mer Mer!"
"Yes," I said. "You are growing up so fast!" I can barely stand the thought of him growing out of his current stage in life where he so sweet that he runs upstairs to get a chicken Beanie Baby to put in the basket we have lined with a towel for Dovey so she will have a friend. But I have felt this way from the very beginning and felt it with my own children too, and I should know by now (I do! I do!) that each stage brings its own sweetness.
Well, with the possible exception of puberty.
And by the time fall rolls around, we shall have a new baby and then it will begin all over again. And thus it is, and so it goes, and before you know it we shall walk together down Main Street in Lloyd, pushing the new baby who will look up out of the stroller to see the leaves dance against the sky.

Did you see this?

The cover on the anniversary edition of the New Yorker, just arrived here yesterday. Artwork by Kadir Nelson who is an author, illustrator, and artist. My eyes keep going to it. It is magnificent.

Ah, the world is in such a panty-twist. He said this, she said that, they claim this, they claim that. A little opinion piece in the local paper today was about the lines from the Bible about beating their swords into plowshares and their swords into pruning hooks. Why is this verse so ignored while so many others are taken and shoved down the throats of all of us as justification for prejudice, for ignorance, for intolerance and for war?

I do not know but I know for today, on this good and warm and sweet day, I am not caring to get my panties in any sort of twist at all. I am concentrating on the wind in the leaves, the ducks in the little pond, the birds singing in the trees, the light falling from the sky, the thoughts of my grandchildren, born and yet-to-be, this moment of solitude and gratefulness. The magnificence of art which humans can make, the silken tendrils of words written which I can read, the great and profound mysteries and glories of it all.

Here I am. Right this moment. And I am ever so glad that also, for this moment, that the chemicals in my brain are right enough to appreciate it all. The battle between thinking and feeling not quite won, but there is a moment of admittedly uneasy truce, enough to feel the warmth around me, to hear the sighing of breath of wind, to see Elvis's tail feathers shine and ripple in iridescent splendor.

I'll take it. With joy.


  1. I can't believe that soon there will be a new character on your blog. So very exciting.

  2. Glad you're having a warm, good day!

  3. Here in Sarasota the palm trees are swaying in the wind....and it's a 75 degree wind as opposed to the 40 degree wind we had yesterday. And we just picked up our new-to-us RV and later we're going to Linger Lodge for some shrimp, then we'll listen to the dulcet tones of a band called the Florida Mountain Boys. Yes, by golly, all is right in my world, too!

  4. I was thinking the other day that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. then I had to laugh. I guess every generation thinks that once they get old enough. and today I practically ran two women out of the store because one of them was incensed that I didn't give her companion an automatic 10% discount 'like every store does' she said. she pissed me off. so I'll be concentrating on feeling the beauty when I close up today.

  5. New baby! how wonderful! And it all sounds idyllic where you are, so enjoy! (except perhaps the carrot tops) :)

  6. Now did you get my last comment? It was about the baby and the carrot tops.

  7. Jo- I know! New blog material! Haha!

    jenny_o- And it is!

    Catrina- That sounds about perfect. Enjoy!

    Ellen Abbott- I have never bought into the whole, "Everything's worse than it was in my day," thing. Sure, some things are worse. Some things are far better. Why the hell did those women think they should get a 10% discount? Good Lord.

    Jenny Woolf- Yes. No more carrot top omelets for me. And yes! I got both comments!

  8. Well, here I am reading through all that I missed in my 24 hours away, and I've now planned tonight's dinner: an omelet. I've filled my one little bird feeder, and am relishing every sweetness.
    I also loved the riff on Eustace Tilley that the New Yorker cover provided. The piece in there on commas was fabulous. Seriously. Laughed SO hard.

  9. Beautiful. So thankful for your blog.

  10. Okay--I surely did miss something. A new baby? Must be Jessie, right? Gotta check and read more.


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