Monday, September 28, 2009

The World Has Changed For Me.


I found this image on Google last week and it is so powerful to me. I was looking for an image that represented the birth of something huge- a mountain from the earth, an island from the sea. And there you are.
The birth of Own has been like that to me, to my husband, to my daughter and her husband, to our entire family and this is as it should be. There should be nothing more earth-shaking and beautiful than the birth of a new child.
And so it is.

I have been alive for fifty-five years and I know from experience that listening to someone else talk about her grandchild is at best, uh, only mildly entertaining. A baby looks like a baby unless he shares your specific DNA or is the child of someone you truly love. There is nothing more common and expected than for children to grow up and have children of their own.
And yet, I understood from observation that this most common and expected event must be something that is monumentally huge to the grandparent. Really, no one would carry that many pictures around unless it were.

So what I want to say here this morning is that this blog is not going to turn into Owen's Blog but since it is my blog and since it reflects my own life, my own heart, my family, my home, and my thoughts about all of that as well as the world we live in from Lloyd to the universe, it is going to have a new slant. That's all there is to it. One would expect no less.
If there is anything I have been put here on earth to do, it has been to bear children, to love them, to raise them, to love my husband and my friends, and to write about it all.
And so I am and so I will.

I'm rather surprised I can write at all, my mind is so mush-like. Mr. Moon and I wander around the house, trying to find things right in front of our faces, finding that setting the table takes eight trips from the kitchen, finding that we can speak of little else than our grandson and his mother and father and how this has just changed everything. Oh, some things will not change- I do believe that Mr. Moon was trying to trade giving Owen to me to hold yesterday for some, uh, future favors, if you will. He may be a grandfather but he is still Mr. Moon.

I told him yesterday that we are the elders now. "We're the motherfucking elders!" I said and we laughed.
How can this be? It was only yesterday that we lay in bed together, me still hugely pregnant with Lily, feeling so tender and yearning with all our hearts to see this child we had created, to hold her in our arms, to look upon her face.

And now, here we are, looking into the face of her child.
The whole experience has made everything new, has laid an entire layer of more love, more love, more love over it all. As we shopped yesterday for things we needed I found myself holding his hand, wanting his arm around me. Owen has linked us in a way we were not linked before.

And now I have to go to town and wash Lily's sheets and go kiss my grandson. They may get to come home today which is the best news because Lily needs some sleep and by god, you cannot sleep in a hospital. That family needs to get in their own bed with their baby between them and know the peace and joy of being home with their baby. Owen's temperature has been normal for two days now, he nurses constantly. He is a big boy and he wants that milk to come in. I see that as a strong will and a strong constitution- nursing is hard work and it is his job to get that milk to come in. Lily needs to rest and eat good food and be at peace with her surroundings to do her part in the process and I intend to help her do that as much as I can.

And so I say, bless our hearts, all of us. It is just amazing to me that so many people around the world have sent so much love our way. This little boy is known to people who care about him whom I never would have imagined.
Thank-you all, you community of writers and readers. Thank-you all.

And now- off to town with my mushy mind, my overflowing heart, my tired feet and my strong grandmother hands.
I have to kiss my grandson. I have to kiss my daughter. I have to kiss her husband. I have work to do. The most joyful work of my life.


And I will try not to bore you to death, talking about it.

36 comments:

  1. Taylor's cracking me up. She called me at 11 last night to ask if we could "go see the baby" again yet. That kid doesn't know what he's in for!

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  2. Dad's already been over to kiss him this morning.
    I always knew Taylor would fall to pieces in love if she ever actually let herself get near a baby. I KNEW it.

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  3. Well, a baby that belongs to folks she loves. I've seen her around other babies, and they're more of a novelty and less interesting to her.

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  4. He's so darned cute! I find such a tremendous difference between babies forced out prematurely and those who are allowed to ripen all the way - he's fully formed and has his own look. Yay for nursing like crazy! I've had friends who've had sooo much trouble breast feeding so I always sigh with relief when it goes well.

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  5. I found your blog because I follow your son's blog and I just have to say what a beautiful post this is! I have 2 grandchildren and they are my heart. You are so blessed and you are so right when you say everything has changed. When my grandson was born 5 years ago, I had the same feelings as soon as I saw him come out. Last year when my granddaughter was born it started all over again. I have made it my mission to make sure that my grandbabies continue to think that their Granny hung the moon! Thank goodness they live only 10 minutes away from me. I have spoiled them shamelessly and don't plan to stop any time soon. Congratulations and enjoy every minute!

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  6. All I can think about right now is how much I want to go see Owen and kiss him all over!
    You think Lily and Jason would let me quit nursing school and be Owen's full-time nanny? I'm sure if that's the case, you would snatch that job up right away. Or maybe Taylor would. Haha.
    Hope you have fun today!

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  7. This is the most wonderful description of becoming a grandparent that i've ever read. Happiness to you and your family!

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  8. This is beautiful, all your photos are beautifule, Owen is beautiful.

    Hiya Grandmama!

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  9. I remember that eagerness to get my own Owen home with me and mine, to lay on the bed and nurse nurse nurse....there are fewer things as sweet. I had him at 2:10 on Monday, and they MADE me stay 24 hours; I check out at 2:15 on Tuesday. : ) You get to write about whatever you want to write about; God, Ms. Moon, we come to visit when you are talking about shit and politics, you think some granny talk is going to keep us away?

    Blessings to all of you; the whole family dynamic has changed because now you get to help shape the life of a whole new PERSON. Life is, indeed, sweet.

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  10. As Jon said Saturday night/Sunday morning the Opera House was all abuzz about Owen's arrival. When Kathleen came in and told me we hugged, we jumped up and down, we whooped and hollered - all to the amusement of the dinner guests. Then Kathleen announced "We're grandmothers!" and delighted laughter filled the air. You see, Owen is already loved by an entire community of friends who love you.

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  11. Super cute little mouth he has! :)

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  12. He's here! Yes, and he is absolutely handsome, peaceful, adorable and looks so content.

    There is something phenomenal about grandchildren. It's as if the world turns itself upside down and then rights itself.

    Attending my grandson Evan's birth was phenomenal and amazing. Oddly enough it's the first birth I'd ever attended first hand and seen it all. I mean, sure, I had 4 kids of my own, but I was at the non-seeing end of it all, wasn't eye? It isn't the same experience.

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  13. I, for one, will love reading about Owen and your experience as a grandmother. He is so precious! I love how he's brought you and Mr. Moon even closer.

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  14. I enjoy the description of the mushy-mindedness of being the new people that you and Mr. Moon are today. I can imagine the swoon of caring and love, and see how you are balancing it with the need to clean the sheets and air their place and get things ready and fresh so they can just deepen into their love and parenthood and this HUGE new chapter of life.

    Bless your heart, thank you for sharing your stories with the world.

    Love,
    Mary

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  15. You can talk all you want.

    And I'm always being captivated by babies, they don't have to share my genes!

    Sure, some are blobby, but some are magical little otherworldy ancient pixie people I could gaze at all day.

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  16. My Dear Ms. Moon,
    You won't bore me to death. That is one good-looking kid! Wowee.

    Love,

    SB

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  17. I forgot to say, I love the motherfucking elders! That shit made me laugh.

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  18. I'm going to have to learn to quit leaking when I see this boy or I'm going to have red puffy eyes all the time... and runny nose. Not very attractive!

    Babies are cosmic... being around them rubs off and we become more cosmic... or remember our own cosmic-ness or whatever. I am looking forward to your cosmic-ness pouring forth like a torrent!
    xo me

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  19. My monitor is wet from me trying to nom the baby through it.

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  20. I don't mind if you go "on and on." It's so wonderful to hear such joy in these times. Really. Especially from you because you're so infectious! I keep looking at little Owen and seeing my Henry and Oliver when they were newborn. They look amazingly alike -- perhaps it's the size. In any case, those memories are the most wonderful to bring up.

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  21. congratulations to the whole family, welcome to the world baby boy!

    Its so lovely to hear how you feel about becoming a grandma. My kids aren't teenagers yet and i've been looking forward to being a grandma for years! I'll be a lot like you methinks.

    Not all women are like that though (and I don't expect all women to be the same but i'm talking about attachment or lack of specifically) its such a shame and a waste when there's a disconnect and its not such a big deal.

    When all is said and done all we have of any worth in this world are our connections to people. You know this in your bones and it comes out in every word you write and that is why i read you. Peace and love to your clan

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  22. Visiting here from Elizabeth's blog. Congratulations on your grandchild. The words of this post tugged all those wonderful heart places. I have 5 children, ages 11-20, and assume I may get a grandchild or two!
    Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts, past and future.

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  23. "We're motherfucking elders!" Ahahahaha, love it!

    I don't think any of your readers would be bored, even if all you ever wrote about was your new grandbaby.

    So, so, soooo happy for all of you!

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  24. "We're motherfucking elders!" Ahahahaha, love it!

    I don't think any of your readers would be bored, even if all you ever wrote about was your new grandbaby.

    So, so, soooo happy for all of you!

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  25. Beautiful. Just beautiful. The sentiment, your words and your heart. I want to hear it all.... please don't ever stop x

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  26. You sure write well for someone claiming to be mush brained! I'm trying to imagine the topic you could write about that could approach boring, and I can't. Even if you write about the mundane, just plain life stuff, it still comes out lyrical and lovely and real. You can babble about love and grandbabies all day long and I'll keep right on reading, checking for the next post!
    And that is one beautiful boy. I'm going to have to go find a baby to nuzzle. Thanks for stirring such strong baby memories.

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  27. i agree with Elizabeth!! please, share the joy!!!

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  28. I was loving your post. The love is tangible. That boy is so beautiful and perfect.

    And then you crack me up, you funny woman. You can write a hundred posts about chickens (chickens!) and not get boring and now you worry about being boring writing about an actual person. That made me giggle.

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  29. By the way, as if your world isn't rocking enough, I've nominated you to receive the Lemonade Award. A check for one million dollars is on its way in the mail.

    Just kidding. But I did nominate you, and feel free to do nothing with it or everything!

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  30. DTG- I think that is true for most of us.

    Nola- I always think that nursing is a bit like breathing- if you think about it too much, it gets messed up. Owen is obviously a born tit man and Lily is obviously a born mama.

    Lois- Thank you so much for finding me and for commenting. I hope to spoil my grandchildren rotten. And then let Lily and Jason deal with the problems that creates. Yes!

    HoneyLuna- Can you imagine how much fun it's going to be to live next door to Owen? Dang. Maybe I should move in there. I think he's going to have lots of good baby-sitters. No problems there.

    Jennifer- Thank-you!

    Steph- Hiya to you, too, sweet woman! Love you...Grandmother.

    Kori- Just WAIT until you get to be a grandmama. You will not believe it. And you are going to be such a wonderful one. I know, I know, it's years in the future, but it's never too early to look forward to something so sweet. And the best thing about home birth is- when you're through having the baby, you're already home. I wish everyone could know that bliss.

    Jan- Okay. You've made me cry. I love you so! Thank-you.

    Nicol- I know! I want to chew his lips off him. But I won't.

    Marsha- You're right. The world does go upside down and then get set right. And no, it is not the same having them as seeing them born. Both honors, both miracles.

    Lora- All I can say is...wow. I had no idea.

    Mary- You always say the sweetest things. Thank-you, dear woman. Thank-you.

    Ms. Jo- He is a magical little pixie elf. And also, magically delicious. I know this for a fact.

    Ms. Bastard- When I said "mother-fucking elders" I was thinking of you. Bless your heart. You are such an inspiration.

    Ms. Fleur- Sweet neighbor-friend. I can't wait until you see him. Thank-you for every, every thing.

    Aunt Becky- I know. I want to nom him without ceasing.

    Elizabeth- Owen does the same for me. Brings back all those precious memories of the best, very best times of my life.

    Anna- Wow. Thank-you so much for those words.

    Deb- All I can say is that on the hard days (and there must be hard days with five children), comfort yourself in the knowledge that yes, there will be grandchildren and it will all have been worth it.

    Ginger- Ah, baby, you're so sweet.

    Lilac- As if I could. Thank-you, sweet lady.

    Mel- Yes! Find a baby to nuzzle!

    Maggie May- Don't worry, dear. I will.

    Mwa- I have thought about that! And don't worry. I still love my chickens and will still write about them, too. Four eggs today!

    Elizabeth- What is the lemonade award? I am honored that you would nominate me for anything! Dang, girl. Thank-you.

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  31. Yep...I was right. My biological clock is exploding :) That might not be good....

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  32. Hello Grandmama dear. What a beautiful baby!! Everyone looks great, these photos are so sweet and your writing a gift. He's glowing with love. We want to know everything everyday about this Owen! Congratulations once again to you and your amazing growing family. Love you all so much. xo xo L & L

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  33. You are so sweet to respond to everyone. But you are so sweet. Hope to see you tomorrow!

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  34. Lon and Lis- Oh, how I miss you and your sweet hearts and great loving spirits. Hope to see you soon.

    Jan- That's THIS Tuesday? As in tomorrow? Might just be the thing I need to do. I'll hopefully be there.

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  35. Hi Ms. Moon, congratulations on the birth of your son. I hope he grows strong and healthy. The Google image looks nice. It must have taken a lot of effort to find it. I'll be looking forward to your next post.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.