Thursday, September 17, 2009

Chickens Are Soothing.


This is my chicken, Helen. I think Helen is a girl. She hasn't started crowing so I'm thinking she's a girl. But you know what I always say- I don't know shit. Or else I say, "Fuck if I know." Or sometimes I say, "I don't know a damn thing."

Well, anyway, there's a head-on picture of Helen and as you can see, a chicken's head is quite narrow, viewed from the front. People claim that chickens aren't very smart and I don't know about that. I know they're smart enough to get in out of the rain and rearrange the hay in the coop the way they like it and they're smart enough to gently peck on my arm to see if it tastes good.

Okay, maybe that last one isn't an example of brilliance but I don't care. My chickens just soothe the hell out of me.

I needed soothing when I got back from town so I went out to see the girls and the boys. They were glad to see me but not very happy about the fact I only brought my camera and not a nice bowl of cantaloupe. Here's a picture of Henry giving me the evil eye due to my lack of fruit offerings:

Isn't he cute? His crow is still all screechy and scratchy because he's just learning. Unlike Sam's crow which is full and proud. Here's Sam and some of his ladies. I just have to love Sam, even if he does feel less affectionate towards me and even if he does chase down the hens and force himself on them. He can't help it. He's a man bird.


So a few minutes with the chickens and I was soothed, especially after Penny let me stroke her. That chicken just loves me. Maybe for saving her life. I don't know.

I needed soothing because my poor Lily cried today. The ultrasound Doctor has obviously given up on us. He was nice and smiling and didn't insist on anything although he did say that if Lily hasn't delivered by next week and needs another appointment, Dr. Brickler HIMSELF better call and make it.
Ha!
Then we trudged over to the midwife practice and the midwife-in-training stripped Lily's membranes without asking her which I think is RUDE. Just damn rude. She said, "I'm going to try and help you out here," and then proceeded to get in there and tug around the cervix. It hurt, I know it did. The cervix feels as it did last week- still thick and about 1.5 centimeters so that hurt Lily even more, thinking she hasn't made any progress this week. She cried a little bit before Donna came in and I don't blame her. No exciting news AND pain. Please.
But Donna was her reassuring self. She was wearing a crown today. A children's plastic crown with a big pink jewel in it. The reason she was wearing it was because one of her adopted children is "mentally ill" as she said, and he keeps claiming that the family is beating him up while in actuality, he is beating on them and DCF came over for a visit. Donna said it occurred to her that if all her crack mamas get to keep their babies and they're crazy, then maybe she should be as crazy as she can, too. So she wore the crown for the meeting and everything went fine and then she decided to be crazy at work, too.
And yet, I have complete confidence in this woman. She reassured Lily that all is well. She went over a few non-invasive (or at least non-chemical) things that we'll probably be trying by next week but nothing that sounded horrible.
I told Lily she needs to drink a big cup of coffee to shock her system. I'm sure by the end of the week, she'll probably try anything.
Donna warned her that she'll be unavailable on Monday because another one of her adopted daughters is having surgery and she is not going to leave her side. I understand that. But that if NO midwife can get there, she will not let a resident take care of things and if there is no other choice, she'll come.
How can you not love this woman?

Anyway, seeing my baby cry, knowing that Owen isn't just trembling over a dilated and thinned out cervix, and just the whole situation of not being in control of one damn thing in this whole world when it comes to this most important event in my daughter's life had me in need of soothing.

Thus the chicken visit.
And they did- they soothed me. The clucked and pecked and like I said, Penny let me stroke her. Have you ever stroked a chicken? Golly, they are soft.

And then the electricity went out and I laid down on the bed with all the dogs and we had a little nap and then the electricity came back on and here I am, telling you this story about Owen and Lily and Donna the midwife. And chickens.
Only one egg today. That's all right. Six eggs in three days is good enough for me.

Now I better go take the trash. I hope no one needs a damn ride to Chaire's Crossroad. And if that old prejudiced son of a bitch is there, I might just tell him a thing or two. I'd send you back to the link where I wrote the story explaining all of this but I'm just not in the mood to get any more pro-life comments. Pro-life. As if I'm not. As if all us pro-choice people are anti-life.

Okay. I'll shut up.

And really, all is well. All is very well and I think when I get back I'm going to make an apple gingerbread cake with some very fresh eggs. With molasses and raisins and pecans and maybe even a caramel icing. We shall see.

Thank all of you for caring about Lily so much. I'll let you know what happens just as quick as I can.

Meanwhile, let's all go do something soothing.

30 comments:

  1. I'm sure Lily knows and is happy for the caring woman and mama that you are! Your compassion for her, and your need to have Lily treated gently and respectfully make me feel proud to be a woman and be in this magnificent circle.

    We can bleed and birth and bury and bake, swim and sing and cry and rant. All in safety and love and soothing comfort.

    Peace and all good to you and all those you hold so dear.

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  2. Whoa. Stripped membranes w/out asking. That is WAY beyond RUDE. What the fuck is that shit?

    I'm sorry, you worked hard to calm down, but seriously. That is complete bullshit.

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  3. A midwife like that is actually a med-wife.
    Here's to a soothing evening for both of you.

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  4. Poor Lily, poor Jason, but I bet Owen is feeling all plump and cozy, albeit perhaps a little cramped. I am sure you have heard them all; castor oil, raspberry tea, nipple stimulation (best if also accompanied by good orgasm inducing sex), and maybe some of those things really work. Maybe just time and tea and fresh hot apple gingerbread cake. Bless YOUR hearts, all of you.

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  5. I'm with Steph.

    He'll be here in his own time ...

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  6. Those are some great chicken pictures! Especially the first one.

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  7. Mary- Thank-you so much dear lady. I'm sure Lily knows I love her fiercely.

    Steph- I have heard this same story so many times. I don't understand it either.
    And it wasn't Donna and the damn thing is- we really liked the woman who did it. Until then. Then we still sort of liked her. But still.

    Michele Renee- Yes. Seems like, doesn't it?

    Kori- She's doing it all to get it going. Well, not the castor oil. Yet.

    Nolo- No doubt.

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  8. I can't believe the midwife did that!

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  9. I tried the Castor oil with Owen, becuase I did NOT want to be induced. the first time I tried it, I threw it right back up. The second time, ICE COLD orange juice was the key and I kept it down, but all it made me do was shit. a lot. And three days later my water broke, a mere 48 hours before I was going in for my scheduled induction (legitimate reasons for being induced, though, and I had a great doc. Still didn't want to have it done, though).

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  10. Well, hopefully it's just her inexperience in action. You said she (NOT Donna) is in training right?

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  11. sending loving, soothing, peaceful energy your way.

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  12. Nola- Sorry. Typing too fast and not paying attention. I do know your name.

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  13. Ms. Lucy- Happens all the time.

    Kori- Why can't we just wait?

    Steph- No, Donna is a REAL CNM.

    Learner- Thank you sweet girl.

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  14. Thank you for going with us mamma! I can't say it was fun but I feel more positive than earlier. I guess being negative will not accomplish anything. Thank you to all the readers for all the advice and well wishing.

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  15. Wow, I'd be made if someone stripped ANYTHING on me without permission. I don't care if it's my pants or my cervix, you don't just stick your hands down there, at least not before you buy me dinner!

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  16. Hey Sweet Lily- It was some day. I always feel so honored to go with you. Did you call the acupuncturist? Love you so much....Mama

    Rachel- Well, she had permission to do an exam. But that was it as far as we knew.

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  17. I'm sorry that Lily had her membranes stripped without her permission. It's a painful experience going into it with advance notice, and I'm sure a much worse one when surprised. I'm soooo excited to hear about this baby's arrival!

    Those chicken pictures are so great. I laughed out loud at the first two.

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  18. That's awful that the stripped her membranes without permission. Maybe he's just not ready to come out yet. Due dates are only estimations.

    Although I'm sure if he knew how many people were anxiously awaiting his arrival he'd try harder not to be late.

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  19. I will take some of that cake, ok? =) I have zero baby-delivering advice, but am thinking of all of you, and can't wait for Mr Owen to finally get here!

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  20. Henry looks like he's saying, "bitch please!" Love it.

    Poor Lily, the last few weeks are so hard on a mama-to-be.

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  21. I thought the nolo was funny - like nolo contendere. maybe that's what I should have legally changed my name to ... though I doubt I'd do much criminal defense work with that!

    I can't even fully grasp your eager anticipation - thanks for sharing this with us (and thanks to Lily!).

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  22. Ms. Moon -- tell Lily that I spent 42 weeks for two of my babies and to keep her eye on the prize. She'll have that baby and be holding it in no time. Maybe even right at this moment. Hang in there!

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  23. I don't know why the ultrasound doctor has any right to weigh in on this unless there is a problem. A due date is an ETA. They don't need to stress Lily out and cause her to cry. Owen wants to wait until tomorrow, my roommate's birthday, or maybe even my son's birthday on the 30th. He was "late," too.

    Yes, I have petted a chicken. I had a pet baby chicken when I was a teenager. The mother hen killed all of the chicks except her, so we brought her into the house. She climbed on my shoulder and followed me around the house when I let her out of her box. We put her in the chicken pen (yard & house)when she was old enough. Later when she had baby chickens, she still came to me when I would go out there and even let me hold her babies.

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  24. Oh, I hate it when medical people do things without warning or ASKING PERMISSION first. They always should. I'm glad Lily's ok now. I like that you do such frequent updates.

    I LOVE your chicken Helen. She is beautiful.

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  25. Must have been really difficult taking that picture. Excellently done!

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  26. Chicken love will see you through.

    Sending siren songs to Owen,
    xo pf

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  27. Helen is a good looking broad. No doubt.

    Sam is good looking, but he's still a damn rapist.

    I am SAD that somebody made Lily cry. Goddammit. I'm sure her hormones are playing up anyway and that she is worried. So hearing that gives SB the SADS.

    Love, SB

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