Monday, September 7, 2009
Billy, Do Not Look (If you click on the pictures you will see dust and cobwebs!)
Billy refuses to go into my bathroom. I think he believes it is filled with floor-to-ceiling satin shoes or has a jewel-encrusted toilet or at the very least, the tub is always filled with bubbles and a pink maiden or two.
Of course it is nothing like that, my bathroom, and really, it needs cleaning. My entire house needs cleaning. It's at that point where even I am gently appalled. And it's so hard to clean. There are, wait, let me count: twelve rooms downstairs alone. There are two upstairs but I don't ever go up there. And there are four porches which should be swept far more than they are. We won't even get into the spider webs. No. We will not.
And the dirt here in Lloyd, which I have mentioned more than once, is a sort of black, greasy dirt which comes in and sticks to things and then there are the four dogs. Oh yes, the four dogs.
Well. You can imagine.
I always start at the far end of the house where Mr. Moon and I have our room and two of the bathrooms. Mr. Moon's bathroom is strictly utilitarian and doesn't really take long to clean. The tub is so old that it will never be clean so I don't work very hard on it. The sink and the toilet are no big deal and then it's just the rugs and the floor and oh yes, the window sill where bugs to go die and the walls where mildew comes to live.
But that's nothing compared to my bathroom.
My bathroom is filled with stuff. Mostly madonnas and mermaids. I bet you I have more madonnas in my bathroom than the pope does.
I'll bet you anything he doesn't have THIS one:
Not over his toilet anyway. At least I hope not.
But he may have this one:
And my jewelry hangs on walls and on mirrors.
Would you put a charm bracelet like this in a drawer?
Or necklaces like this?
Surely not. They would be so pissed off. I like to keep my jewelry happy.
That's a mermaid madonna, wouldn't you say?
And here are my beautiful older women for inspiration. As well as a few of my babies.
And you know- you gotta have Bill Murray wearing a red neckerchief looking at you adoringly as you brush your teeth. At my age I'd rather look at Bill's face than mine anyway.
Merchildren and baby shoes.
A basket Miss HoneyLuna made me with a pretty handkerchief and dried oak-leaf hydrangea.
And oh sugars, there is more. Much, much more.
Make-up I never wear and hair thingees I never put in my hair and face potions I never use on my face and lotions and perfumes and bath salts and rubber duckies and sea shells and a shower AND a tub and a dresser. Yes. My dresser is in the bathroom. It's a big bathroom.
And oh, how I love it. It is my dream bathroom in my dream house but I sort of hate cleaning it.
And I should go do that even though I feel sort of pulled down and mighty lazy today. In yoga I kept trying to do back bends to unkink the energy block which is so obviously nestled somewhere south of my shoulder blades but it didn't work. I still feel like a rag doll who has been loved by so many children she has no constitutional fortitude left whatsoever. Just kick me into a corner and let me rest.
Really, what I'd love to do is go lay down on my bed with the newest Oxford American Magazine which, if you read with the attention it demands and deserves, can take as long as a novel to get through.
Or, alternately, I wouldn't mind just going out to the chicken coop to watch the birds. I stood there for about ten minutes a while ago. Miss Red laid an egg and cackled and bragged about it so I went to go collect it and while I was watching everyone chase Miss Daffodil around, I saw Sam get on top of Miss Bob and have his way with her.
Well, he has good taste. She is a mighty pretty hen.
There's always so much to see in the chicken coop.
Or I could go out and sit in the garden and watch the rows I planted yesterday. This morning I saw a beautiful butterfly on top of one those rows and I don't know what she was doing but it sort of resembled what Sam was doing to Miss Bob. But more delicately. Much more delicately.
Kind of made me want to be the ground. I never, ever wish I was a hen.
Ah yah. I better get busy. The afternoon is half over and all of a sudden, the sun seems to want to set about seven thirty instead of eight thirty. How did that happen? I swear, I've been paying attention. The chickens seem to have noticed. They go to bed by six thirty now.
I think I'll make some coffee first though.
(Yawn)
I'll let you know how it goes.
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I didn't think I could find you more loveable or charming than I already do, and then you post your pictures of Bill Murray looking at you while you brush your teeth.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to use that in my novel :)
Who is that with the silver curley hair and black shirt? (In your older women pic)
ReplyDeleteI want to look like that when I grow up.
I was smiling to myself at all the mad hippy paraphernalia adorning your bathroom walls.
ReplyDeleteUntil I came to the semi naked Bill Murray pictures.
My sinus hurts from laughing.
Maggie May- I love and adore Mr. Murray and I think he has one of the most beautiful faces in the entire world.
ReplyDeleteSteph- Kiki Smith. She's an artist. Isn't she gorgeous?
Daddy X- He is not semi-naked. He is only not wearing a shirt. I am so glad I made you laugh.
Love...The Mad Hippie (Harpy)
Your bathroom is wonderful. Made me happy today.
ReplyDeleteI love your bathroom more than any bathroom of anyone else I know. Plus I did not know that Billy won't go in there. Has he ever been in there? It makes me laugh to think that he has never been in there and only imagines what it is like. Anyway I love you and will talk to you soon.
ReplyDeleteLily- Nope. He's never been in there. He refuses. If you were having a home birth, it would be the perfect place to labor in. Tub, shower, and lots of things to look at as well as access to the porch swing and the outside. I would put a mattress down on the floor for you to rest on or a rocking chair for you to rock in. I rocked a lot when I was in labor with Jessie. Ah well. The hospital has hot tubs and rocking chairs as well.
ReplyDeleteSoon, my darling.
I can't wait.
I love you and am so proud of you. Owen's birth is going to be tremendous.
Daddy X- And what do you mean by hippie paraphernalia? Do you see one bong? No you do not.
ReplyDeleteBill Murray in a red scarf is the last thing I expected to see ;) Awesome!
ReplyDeleteI needed some light and fluffy today. I am fatigued and fighting the blues. I am smiling now, thanks.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I do love that pic of Kiki. She's stunning!
pf
I always picture cartoon bluebirds fluttering around in there. But your bathroom beats dad's every time for one reason: better reading material.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite a remarkable bathroom and shrine!
ReplyDeleteSam is a slut. What a life.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a bathroom. Ours gets moldy if I don't interfere. Ugh. Sometimes I leave it too long. Ugh. Good luck with the cleaning (which you've probably done by now.)
I didn't love Bill Murray until Lost in Translation. Now I find him relentlessly attractive. Although I did like him in Stripes.
ReplyDeleteI love the mermaid madonna tile.
SJ- I live to surprise.
ReplyDeletePetit Fleur- Oh honey. I hope you feel better.
DTG- You are right about that.
Joy- It's one of my most favorite rooms ever.
Mwa- Sam IS a slut. I saw him covering Miss Red later on. He is insatiable.
Michelle- We should make a fan club. He IS relentlessly attractive. And why? I do not know. I think it's his eyes. He can do more with his eyes than most actors can do with their entire faces and bodies and three pages of dialog.
Love your style!
ReplyDeleteHey there, Ms. Moon. I dig Bill Murray, too. Good guy. I heard he often smokes out back with the help at restaurants. Not a snotty bone in his body.
ReplyDeleteLove,
SB
Good morning,
ReplyDeleteAH Bill Murray - he is lovely and I want to hug him - sweet boy...
I think you'd like a novel that quite moved me, called Our Lady of the Lost and Found by Diane Schoemperlen - it's about the Virgin Mary who shows up at a writer's house one day, and takes a vacation for about a week or so. She talks about milagros and life et cetera.
My sweetheart and I refer to ourselves as mermaid when we do our swim workouts - we have mermaid olympics and everything :)
Sweet good day to you, dear woman,
Mary
Your house sounds like an absolute dream, although yes, that much space would be difficult to clean.
ReplyDeleteNot all hippies are pot heads...
ReplyDeleteYour bathroom seems soothing and inviting (which a bathroom should be)!
ReplyDeleteI adore Bill Murray, but can't see him the same way after this, though...
http://gingermagnolia.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/bill-murrayooh-la-la/
that's not a bathroom, it's the riverlily. but don't worry mm, i won't tell.
ReplyDeletedaddy b
Daddy B- A really, really cheap River Lily. And yes, perhaps one or two of those necklaces or earrings came from there. Hey! Let's go to River Lily! You could buy Shayla a present and I could too!
ReplyDelete