Thursday, June 1, 2017
We Try To Care For What We Have, Even If It Seems Useless
Last night Dearie, my little black and white chicken didn't come to roost. I was upset- of course I was. She's one of my prettiest hens but I have become resigned to the reality of the loss of birds. Still- this morning when she wasn't waiting by the henhouse I figured her gone for good but after I'd thrown scratch for everyone and gone into the coop to put my jar up, there she was, hanging out with her bathtub mate- Miss Nicey.
That did nothing, however, to really dent my mood which was dark. It was one of those who-gives-a-fuck-days where nothing seemed to matter much anyway. Perhaps it was because we all knew that the fucking asshole, liar, conman, idiotic, pawn-of-the-Nazis, evil (shall I go on?) man in the White House was going to pull out of the Paris Agreement.
I am still so filled with anger that this man was elected. Most days I can take it with a philosophical grain of salt but sometimes, the anger just bubbles up and fills my throat and poisons everything.
And yes, he did pull out and I'd make a horrible and crude joke about wishing that his father had done the same but I won't because I'm a southern lady.
And so I did what I do on days like this which is to try and burn myself out in the garden and I weeded and put in a few more beans and some more okra and filled in the zinnia row and picked about five pounds of cucumbers and stuff like that. After a few hours I was definitely burned out but my mood hasn't improved one tiny bit. I took a little nap which can sometimes reset my mood button but it didn't and then I mopped the kitchen and that didn't help much either.
Mr. Moon got up to go fishing this morning around 3:30 a.m. and he just got home and is sunburned, exhausted, and lost his glasses to the sea. He did get some nice snapper which I do appreciate but that's going to be some damn precious fish.
And so it goes. The planet means nothing to Republican lawmakers. I just love that one guy who said that even if climate change is real, his god will do something about it.
What a fucking crock of shit.
Anyway, we go on. We clean the hen house and put the poopy hay on the garden which makes a small and perfect circle. We grow some food and we collect the eggs. We raise the children and we love them. We do our best not to waste any more energy than we have to although I hear the Great Barrier Reef is past the point of saving. Which pretty much means we're fucked.
"We're fucked," is what I said over and over after the election. We're fucked, we're fucked, we're fucked.
Yet, we go on. As long as the ride will take us. What else can we do?
I'll try to be more positive tomorrow. I promise.