Last night for a few moments, even...dare I say...an hour?
I felt cheerful. I felt fucking cheerful.
I laid in bed cuddled up to Jack and thought about adventures Owen and I could take this summer and how I really might hire a housecleaner to help me with the cleaning and the plans that Mr. Moon and I were making to get away this weekend. And it all seemed so doable. So...just...nice.
I woke up this morning and it was all gone. Every bit of it seems impossible.
This is the life of depression and anxiety.
Time to take a walk.
Walking sounds like an excellent response. Here's hoping the bad feelings lift!
ReplyDeleteThe swinging of the pendulum, a blessing and a curse...Hang in there Ms Moon!
ReplyDeletethey say traumatic events rewire our brain. too bad gloriously wonderful events don't rewire it back. hope the walk helps but it's getting so hot and humid here that just thinking about taking the dog out makes me sweat.
ReplyDeleteBleh. Your plans sound good. Those things do sound do-able. And we see you doing the things it feels like you can't do so often. Just fingers in the ears lalalalalala to the bad feelings today xxx
ReplyDeleteI have had moments like that and have tried to figure out why. What is different? And I come up with nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I am 100% convinced it is something in the brain. At any rate, you are too beautiful of a soul to battle this beast. But maybe that is what makes you beautiful? But then I get mad at that thought because most days being a beautiful soul is a great benefit for anyone but you. Fuck, I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. And it's really hard, being hit with that over and
ReplyDeleteover again. May your walk be a potent one.
I am sorry you are feeling bad and that it comes on for no reason like that. I can't wait until summer adventures with Owen come and you can play with your pal. I love you.
ReplyDelete