Monday, March 10, 2014

Just Ruminatin'

Dear god but I am tired. And aching. I have worked my ass off today. Well, sort of. I've taken a walk and tidied domiciles, both human and chick. Done laundry, hung it on the line, taken it off, folded it, put it away. Taken the dogs to be groomed, picked them up and brought them home. Washed dishes, swept floors, washed rugs, filled waterers and feeders, taken trash and recycle. But it's been such a good day, so warm and so very spring-like. When I went to pick up the dogs, the scent of tea olive at Miss Beverly's hit me like a stone and I realized that the bush I was walking by was being sun-warmed to the perfect temperature to spread that powerful and yet oh-so-delicate scent.
Heaven, y'all!

Just heaven. And no anxiety to steal it from me. None. Another day of goodness.

And now Mr. Moon is on his way to auction and thus, I have a night "off" in that I'm going to cook a piece of fish for one and watch some crap TV and probably read into the night, way later than I should.

Speaking of which, I wanted to download Ms. Vesuvius's  new e-book, Stone and Spring

from Shebooks. Desperately.

It had been such a busy weekend that I never got around to it but I did get out the old Kindle, which I haven't used in dogs' years, to charge it up. Which I did. But then it didn't seem to be working so I put it all aside and went and got greens from the garden or something. I tried to figure out how to download the book on my iPad but without at least a modicum of research, that wasn't happening.
Today I opened up the Kindle again and magically, it was working. GREAT! So I got the book and then I realized you can get a Kindle app for the iPad and so I did that and now I have all my e-books on two different devices and Lord, Lord, Lord.
I swear.

I remember when I got my first computer. This was sometime back in the nineties. You'd think I'd remember the exact damn date. I was so ready, so excited. We bought a Mac. A Performa, which was probably the worst Apple product ever made but so what? I got myself a copy of Macs For Dummies and I took off! There was a huge learning curve but I loved the whole process and with some help from friends and from that book, I was able to go from not knowing one damn thing to almost everything I needed to learn. It was exhilarating! Since that time I've tried my best to keep up with things. I've had several desktop computers and three (I think) laptops (all Macs) and now of course I have my iPad mini and my iPhone. And the Kindle. I've gone from dial-up internet (remember the screeches and beeps? the redials and redials?) to wireless and whatever that other thing is. You know- like cell phone shit.
I can no longer even imagine living without the internet and my devices. Can NOT imagine it. I always joke about how our phones are our back-up brains around here and truthfully, it's not a joke. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT THE GOOGLE?
Just forget my name and address, most likely.
My phone is my camera, my bed-side table clock, my alarm, my communicator in all possible ways. I wake up and check the time on it, I play my husband on Words With Friends and yes, I even play Angry Birds. I watch videos on it. I text at least a thousand times more than I use it as a phone. And I just realized something- that Performa had phone capabilities. I could call people on it. How crazy is that? So, in a way, that big old thing was a prototype for the iPhone. Maybe. Too bad Steve Jobs isn't around to ask. But besides using my phone for all of those things, I also use it as a GPS occasionally, check the weather, my e-mail, and Facebook on it, and use it to soothe Gibson by showing him all the pictures on it. All ten billion pictures, approximately 8.5 billion of which he is in. He loves to look at the pictures. And of course the videos. Over and over again.
I take notes on my phone for books I want to read, for authors I hear on NPR. For shopping lists. For things-we-need-and-don't-need on Dog Island. Sometimes I catch up on the New Yorker on it. I use it to look up phone numbers and addresses. I use it as a pedometer for my walks. I can listen to public radio on it.
It''s everything! And what it doesn't do, my MacBook or my iPad will.
Jesus, I am so spoiled.

But holy shit. I know the day is going to come where I just am not going to be able to keep up with the technology. I am already avoiding certain things, mostly not because I don't think I can figure them out, but because I just don't have time in my life for one more tech-related thing. Things like Twitter and Instagram and I know there are so many other possibly life-enhancing or at least pleasurable programs and apps and whatever but there are only so many hours in the day and I already spend way too many of them, staring at a screen. And I feel like it's a fine balance between learning new things for brain health and just cluttering the shit out of my brain with stuff that's taking the place of other things. Such as my name and address.

I remember my friend Sue used to say that the mind is like a tabletop. You can only pile so much shit up there before things start to fall off and you can't control what falls off. I think she was right. And part of me wants to cling to all the stuff I can that's important and not lose it all by piling up more passwords and technology. I hate it when one of the kids remembers something from their childhood and I have absolutely no memory of it whatsoever. I HATE that. And it happens all the time. And some of them are very happy memories, not just stuff I'd obviously want to forget. Stuff I wish I could remember because it's sweet and good. According to my kids, at least.
And truthfully, I still love reading real books and real magazines so much that I don't want to cut into that time anymore, either. Choices must be consciously made.

Anyway, I'm so tired. And achy. Yes, I mentioned that.
I am aging. That's all there is to it. To paraphrase the old country song, It takes me all day long to do what I used to do all day long. Aging in joints and in muscles and in mind. And that's okay. I can still do a lot, both physically and mentally, but it will never be what it was like for me even ten years ago.

One must deal in reality at some point.

So here I am, sitting on the back porch of my house which is 159 years old, typing on my laptop, getting and sending texts with my phone from and to my husband (he made it to Orlando!) and Jessie (she made it to Asheville!) and my iPad and Kindle are sitting right here, with the Brittany's new book on both of them. I am about to cook my little piece of tuna on a gas flame in an iron skillet and my chickens (a bird which has been domesticated since possibly 6000 B.C.- and of course I just googled that shit) are finishing up their daily routine of scratching and napping and sunning and scratching some more and are about ready to go to the roost. I picked camellias today which grace my house from bushes which are probably fifty years old.

This is how life is nowadays. We can take what we want and need to use from the distant past or from yesterday's latest OS update. But we can't use it all. There is no way and there is no reason.
As the Band (that phenomenal and perhaps best band that North America ever produced) said, "You take what you need and you leave the rest. "

I'm trying.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. When I die, if I run into Steve Jobs, I'm going to perform whatever sexual favors he would like, that's how much I love my apple products.

    I've been having a similar day, cleaning, sorting, putting my life back in order. Now I'm tired but I still have to walk the dog and eat some sort of dinner yet all I want is chocolate.

  2. The nice thing about blogging is we are keeping records that we can look back on if we so choose. It is not as easy to forget! Unless of course we forget our password which I did with my old blog. meh

  3. And I get to text Mary Moon for random questions whenever I WANT!

    You sound so good. I know I am saying it alot lately. But it's true.

    I had fish tonight too :) Kiss the chicks for me.

  4. Holy shit. I know that song. How do I know that song? Somewhere in my childhood I guess. Cool - thanks for sharing it!!

  5. We got our first Macs in 1984. One for the kids, one for us. I was using email before most people even had a computer, had a few 'pen pals' all over the country. I can't imagine not being connected. It's like living in a library.

  6. heartinhand- Haha! I'll join you in the afterlife with Mr. Jobs. How was your chocolate?

    Birdie- Fucking passwords are going to kill me. But you're right about the blog being a record. It's for sure true.

    SJ- You should text me more often GIVING me advice. I am doing so much better. I swear. I am me again. I overcooked my tuna but it was still pretty good.

    Jill- It's a pretty famous song. And Joan Baez did it too.

    Elizabeth- Operating System. Is that just a Mac thing?

    Ellen Abbott- It IS like living in a library. Email is wonderful too. I swear.

  7. I think you got more done that day than I've done in about, oh, maybe 2 years. I'm so happy to hear the anxiety is gone for the moment! xo

  8. Betsy- I doubt that. Plus, you do yoga. And go out into the world. Two things I need to do. And yes, the anxiety has disappeared and I hope it is gone forever.

  9. I would be lost without my technological gadgets. We have six Macs of different varieties in the house. Once you go Mac, you never go back.

  10. Syd- Amen, brother. Every other sort of tech device works like a hot mess to me.


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