Thursday, March 27, 2014


Oh gosh. Here we are.
I feel like I'm in the agitate portion of the wash cycle.
Agitato, as Kinky Friedman says.
And all because there are tiny little bumps in my regular routine. The springtime parade on Saturday which we traditionally go to Hank's house to watch because his place is right downtown on the parade route. Of course the weather forecast calls for 60% chance of rain. So that's worrying me.
Mr. Moon is leaving on Sunday to go grouper fishing and then on Thursday he and I and his sister are all meeting up in Apalachicola to spend the weekend together. And that will be great fun but just the thought of leaving my home, deviating from my little rut-of-a-life in these few ways has me whirling inside. And it's so ridiculous. It's not like I'm flying to some war-torn country to distribute aid to the starving.
What is wrong with me?

Well, that's a good question, isn't it?

I'm so tired of being such a fucking wuss that anything requiring me to creep beyond my regular parameters can cause me to freak.

I guess the important thing is that I can do these things and will do them. I'm not yet to the point where I'm completely chained to my house and yard. At least I have a pretty big yard.

I may dread and fret and worry (and I know this all sounds so crazy but hey! that's only because it is and I do recognize that) but I will pull up my big girl panties, I WILL cowboy-up, cupcake, and go to the parade (if it doesn't rain) and to Apalachicola and the damn thing is- I will enjoy myself tremendously. I know I will.

There. That's me this morning. Anxious and crazy and the sky is gray and it's chilly and I have to take a walk and I'll probably go to town to go to the library (which thankfully is still within the bounds of my sanity to go to) with Lily and the boys and then maybe to lunch, too.

I know I sound ridiculous. You should try listening to how it sounds from inside my head.
Nah. Don't.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. At least I am in good company being batshit. I love you so. And the agitate portion of the wash cycle is an excellent metaphor, example, or what the fuck ever.

    Agit-a as they say on The Sopranos. I have agita. You have agita. I'm not okay. You're not okay. Fuck Wayne Dyer. Nobody's okay. Okay?

  2. I'm so grateful that you're sharing your agitation. It's a relief to know that I'm not the only one who gets rampant anxiety over transitions and anticipation. Even pleasant, temporary changes get me wound up tighter than a $2 watch.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

  3. You know, I think EVERYONE feels like we do, only some of us are brave enough to write and talk about it freely. I really believe that. I mean, surely it's everyone, right?

    I have to sit down and write today because I'm having quite a week.

  4. I believe the very first post of your that I read was similar to this one. I was hooked.

    I LOVE to travel and see my friends....but sometimes I go crazy thinking about leaving the house.

    Cowboy Up is what I'm gonna tell myself. No, I think I'm going to change it to Cowgirl up--I like that even better. Enjoy the parade!

  5. I retired two years ago with the intent of cleaning this house top to bottom then volunteering my butt off at several local agencies. NOTHING has been accomplished! Yesterday I did absolutely nothing. I set out to do several things, got each half-ass done, then moved to the next. I have found that I prefer staying in my house (and in my yard when weather permits) to going out and doing those things I said I would. My hard-working husband is retiring in 54 days, and lately I find myself worrying that one of us is going to come down with some awful disease before we can enjoy these "Golden Years." Yeah, I know I need to get out more. But sometimes this cocoon I've made is SO much better!

  6. Agitato. I love that word!

    Can you figure out exactly what specifically brings up the agitato? Is it a fear that something will happen to you while you're away, and that you won't be able to deal with whatever problem might arise? Or that something will happen to your house, or that you have to be home to look after things? Or is it more generalized than that? I'm honestly curious.

  7. Sometimes I think society/industry has evolved faster than we have. Maybe we were never meant to do all this running about, going to and fro. Maybe we were just meant to have a small community and stay close to home. Everything is so fast-paced now. Some people can handle it but most get overwhelmed and anxious. If you plopped someone from a hundred years ago in our world they probably would end up committing suicide.

  8. Just... bring an umbrella and pretend you live in Ireland.

  9. You'll have a wonderful time, no doubt. If it rains, jump in the puddles =)

  10. Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Wayne Dyer is NOT OKAY! I love you to pieces and you know it.

    Anonova- And I'm not the only one either? It's a comfort to know. Sincerely. Thanks for coming by and commenting.

    heartinhand- You are always having a week, woman! I always think of you as being so busy out in the world. And it's hard for you too?

    Denise- I am sure I WILL enjoy the parade. That's the fucking crazy part.
    I sure am glad you liked the first post you read by me because I'm glad you're here.

    catrina- I think that some of us are just by nature more homebodyish than others. But hell- let's try and enjoy the time we have left. And if that means spending a lot of time in our beloved cocoons, so be it!

    Steve Reed- It is all of those things, it is none of those things. There is no logic to it whatsoever. This is why it is called crazy. I swear.

    Birdie- I definitely agree. I don't think we've evolved nearly as fast as our society and technology and it makes for some really crazy people.

    Jo- It's not even a big deal if it rains. It's just...will I decide to not go if it rains? Will the children get wet and chilled? Oh god. None of it makes any sense at all. None.

    Rachel- I am smiling, just reading your name. Such good news in your world. And you know, I would jump in the puddles. See above.

  11. Sometimes I want to cocoon at home too. Today has been one of those days, but now I am dragging my sorry self to the gym and then to do some grocery shopping with my love. And it now feels like I have some energy.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.