Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I Guess I Do Know Shit

I'm freezing. When I got up I put on jeans, a thermal undershirt, a Goodwill cashmere and a jacket. I soon shed the jacket and then the cashmere. Now they're all back on.
It's not even that cold. It's just gray and damp. I FEEL like I'm freezing.

Poop. I need to deal with poop. Chick poop, mostly. These guys need to go into the coop. They are too big and their poop is too voluminous to keep them in the ice chest. Is it warm enough? Hell if I know. They have feathers. I'll put them outside in their box soon and let them spend some time in the elements to see how they do.

Why do we keep animals?

Since it started raining, my dogs have decided that peeing and pooping outside is a drag and they'd rather not. Which means...poop and pee in the house, of course. Yesterday Buster PEED IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET.
I mean seriously.

I am taking care of a neighbor's dog while they are out of town. It's no problem and I don't mind doing it but there's another element of poop. I take him out and wait for him to pee and poop. "Good boy!" I tell him and then I take him back in and give him a treat.

I should be out in the garden, spreading horse poop.

I'm cold. I need to deal with poop. I need to take a walk. That will warm me up.

Is it possible that I need a life?

I think about all the things I could write about. I could reach back and tell you the story of how a bunch of us accidentally blew up a gas station once with a Karmann Ghia. I could tell you about the time I met a ghost in a state park. I could tell you about the time a cat spoke English to me. I could tell you about the time I got really stoned and...wait. I can't tell you about that.

But no, all I'm going to do is sit here and bitch about how chilly I am and how my life is all about poop and then I'm going to go take a walk and I'm going to clean up poop and did I mention it's gray here again today?

Poop. May I somehow reach a point today where I have risen above it. At least for a little while.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Ok, poop venting is fine, but please do tell us those stories.

  2. Some days are just filled with shit.

  3. Poop is an undeniable fact of life. It's finally warmed up here...for now. With the crazy assed winter, I'll probably be freezing again in a few days.

  4. I have a three-year-old that dictates my life with poop. He refuses to potty train and we are in the toddler constipation cycle that creates awful diaper rash, so we give him stuff to fix that and that creates poopy diapers bigger than an adult and on and on. Who knew that one tiny little person could cause me such hand-wringing over poop! So, it is nice to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks about it regularly.

  5. Girl, I have the poop of a 60 pond dog who has decided pooping out in the trails is gauche, so for the last five months, has pooped in the snow. Well,the snow is disappearing and my yard looks like a septic field.

    Sometimes minutia wins.

  6. Poop is a fact of life that will not be denied.

    Enjoy your walk.

  7. I too deal with dog poop and one that will NOT go outside in the rain. I look forward to hearing those other stories. Gail

  8. I still have not got over the time your dog pooped on the table!

    We have 10 bags of manure to spread.

    Just how old are your dogs? They seem immortal.

  9. Jo- Maybe someday...

    Syd- Too fucking true.

    Ellen Abbott- Same here. Freezing, sweating. I can't figure it out.

    Sarah- Oh, I remember when Owen was going through that. It's so difficult! It will pass. I promise you.

    heartinhand- Septic field. I get it. Too damn well.

    Stephanie- We live. We poop. Period. So does everything else. I did enjoy my walk. To a degree.

    Gail- Hang in there with me. Maybe. Someday.

    Birdie- I think they are about fourteen. And yes. Immortal. Obviously.

  10. So sorry about the shit in your life, ha ha and Birdie's comment made me laugh out loud, I think your dogs will live forever too :)
    And heartinhand and I share the same problem, there's a winter's worth of big dog poop all over my yard - yuk.
    And seriously? I would pay to read those stories, even more to hear you tell them :)

  11. Mel- Oh, we all have stories, don't we?

  12. And Mary, I just re-read the title of this post and laughed out loud. I guess I was too tired earlier to get it. You crack me up.


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