Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What In Hell Is This Wind Blowing In?

What a fucking morning. Jesus.

I've talked to Mr. Moon and he's probably going to get his business done at the bank and then head back up north to continue the hunt which I understand. He's trying to take care of everything but it's disconcerting to know he's here but that he'll be gone again.
But that's nothing compared to my shock when I realized that my landline's voice mail had two messages this morning. Both from Hank. He'd called at 3:21 a.m. to tell me he was having a horrible nosebleed and needed a ride to the ER and another one from 8:30 to tell me he was okay.
The room we're sleeping in now doesn't have a phone in it. Okay, sure, my iPhone is plugged in but I turn the ringer off at night and I can't make or receive calls out of the house on it anyway because there is some sort of strong anti-cell-phone protective barrier going on within these old walls and underneath the tin roof which leads me to wonder if perhaps those folks who line their hats with tinfoil to protect their brains from evil beaming rays may have something figured out.
Anyway, Hank managed to get May on her phone and she sped through the dark streets and picked up her brother and took him to the ER and that situation is resolved but I NEVER KNEW IT WAS GOING ON AND I FEEL AWFUL!
God. And I guess I was in my bathroom when the second call came in and since it's approximately a quarter mile from the rest of the house, I didn't hear the phone in there, either.
So from now on out, I'm bringing a phone with me into the bedroom at night and that's that.
I've talked to Hank now and I've talked to May and everyone is okay but I feel distressed and guilty and anxious. I don't care how old my babies are, even the slightest hint of a threat to them and their health and wellbeing is enough to send me into a spin and make me want to do something to fix it. NOW!

To put the cherry on top of the cowgirl (thanks, Tom Robbins), there's a possible freeze warning for tonight and of course all of my plants are outside. Most of them are too heavy for me to drag in so I'm going to have to get out and cover everything up in sheets and blankets like little babies in an under-heated orphanage. Every year I go through this and every year I wonder why in hell I bother.


Gibson and Owen both are still running fevers although they seem mostly okay. Owen didn't eat much for a few days but Lily reports he's doing better with that today and of course, it would take more than a viral infection to do much to curb Gibson's appetite. I am probably going to go in and babysit them for a few hours this afternoon and hopefully, get to see and kiss my husband before he returns to the deer stand.

And so it goes. The wind is blowing this cold air in like a giant fan set in front of the freezer but the sun is shining clean and strong through it all. The Bradford Pear leaves are still green but they are rustling and talking as if in alarm and they should be.
I went out last night and had fun and felt bold and happy and obviously in doing that, I have upset the entire order of the universe.
At least that's how it feels. To a crazy woman.
I want my boring back!

I better go round up sheets and blankets.

How is it where you live? Have the crazies set in there too or is all well?

Let me know.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. That is distressing about Hank and I am sorry you missed the call, but glad he's okay. Hope the little boys are feeling better today as well.

    It's cold here, 54, and I've turned on the heat for the first time, just to take the chill out of the air.

    Hope you get to kiss Mr. Moon!

  2. I have trouble with that phone thing, too. No land line anymore. Leave the iphone in the other room so it doesn't ding when I get an email. Yet, don't have it near if someone needs me.

    Covered all my plants last night. Didn't freeze. Frankly, I'm so tired of watering by hand, I don't care if they dry up and die. (Yes, I do.)

  3. "Two bells and all's well!" That is ship speak for 9:00 a.m.

    So far everything is as is should be. Boring as hell, my back is hurting (I am going to find that CoQ 10 you recommended), and I am going to go make myself a coffee.

    I think I discovered the guilt, distress and anxiousness when I brought my son home from the hospital. I was cutting his nails and I nicked him. It bled and he wailed. It still makes my eyes well up 17 years later.

    Glad Hank is OK.

  4. cold wind blowing here too. re you and your grown kids. when my son (army reserve) was deployed to Iraq the second time, it was for a year and it was right in the middle of the worst of the worst of the attacks and roadside bombs. it was the worst fucking year of my life. every time the phone rang or someone knocked on the door the bottom dropped out of my stomach.

  5. Yep. We have the crazies too. Or maybe just a slight ant problem. Taking care of it, but now i.itch all over. Love Tom Robbins, btw.

  6. Glad hank is ok and that Owen and Gibson soon will be too! I know your heart did several flip flops! Parenting never ends.

  7. So sorry you missed the call. I can imagine the guilt and frustration. In an odd synchronicity, my daughter has been sick and having lots of gushing nosebleeds but petrified of having another cauterization, and today she went back to school and had a huge bleed and texted me almost a dozen times over two hours before I wondered where my phone was and found it in my purse. I was sitting three feet from it the whole time. I only get the nuisance calls, never the ones that matter. She's home now and ok, and lord, no ER. I hope Hank's is ok and he doesn't have to pay a fortune and of course May took care of him, but he called his mom first and that should make you feel loved. You'll be ready and hopefully there won't be a next time.
    Sorry the little ones are sick. It sucks almost as much to watch when they are 16 as it did when they were 2 and 5 here. Both my kids and my Mom are sick so far. Ugh.
    Stay well and forgive yourself.

  8. Mother guilt is unbearable. Glad Hank is okay. Isn't it weird though, how connected we all have to be? I like being reachable--not like the old story in my family about how when the wagon was driving west someone's baby died and the father who'd gone on ahead to scout didn't know for days. God, I'm generations away from those people and it still makes me sad.

  9. I'm with you Ellen Abbott. My son's first deployment was the worst year of my life, followed closely by the second third and fourth deployments. Considering I got divorced the year before and was diagnosed with breast cancer the year after, that is saying a lot. Glad every one is okay. Boring normal is a good thing.

  10. "The wind is blowing this cold air in like a giant fan set in front of the freezer but the sun is shining clean and strong through it all. The Bradford Pear leaves are still green but they are rustling and talking as if in alarm and they should be." Tom Robbins has nothing on you (not that you're saying that he does, but really...I always do note that you toss things like this in so effortlessly and they make me want to hum). I'm glad the nosebleed got stopped. Scray! Oh, this new world of funny phones we live in. They just don't quite work for us yet.

  11. That's weird, about the nose bleed. How often does that happen? I'm glad the bleeding stopped. Actual, metaphorical bleeding, make it all stop....

  12. Check in from Atlanta: It's as cold as a witch's titty.

    P.S. Glad Hank is okay.

  13. Yip, crazies here. Glad Hank is okay. Hugs.

  14. I am glad Hank is okay too. I hope you stay well after taking care of the boys. Tis the season... Sweet Jo

  15. Lulumarie- I did not get to kiss Mr. Moon. I am promised two kisses on Sunday. Sigh.

    Midlife Roadtripper- Why do we care about these plants? But you know damn well we do.

    Birdie- I think that is probably an incredibly common experience. That first hurting-of-our-babies. We all cry. We never get it over it. Jesus. It is so hard to be human.

    Ellen Abbott- I cannot even imagine and I am so grateful for that. Bless you.

    Mary- My ants seem to be gone. The rodents have taken their place. Tom Robbins used to be incredible. Now he's just bizarre. In my opinion, at least.

    Angella- No. It never does end. Ever. Which is why I try not to get worked up over the little things. Try. Being the operative word.

    Mel- Forgiving myself is a lifetime occupation. It goes well with the lifetime parenting thing.
    As you know.

    Denise- At least in those days they had the sure true knowledge that some things were beyond their control. But god, yes. How incredibly sad.

    Lisa- Normal and boring is about the most celestial there can be. I swear.

    Andrea- I've thought a lot about that too. How incredible our phones are and yet, how they're just not quite there yet. We'll look back and laugh some day. I'm still grateful for them though. Mostly.

    Betsy- Never happened before, as far as I know. Which is another reason it was so fucking shocking. And scary.

    Nancy- Getting that cold here, too. The witches are putting on their brass bras. I do not like being cold.

    Bethany- I adore your hugs. And you.

    Sweet Jo- Boys are all good, from Hank on down. And I'm going to sleep SO well tonight. Clean sheets and exhaustion. Thanks, honey.

  16. We used to wrap up all our plants for freezes but now my mom just lets nature take its course. Then again, she lives 100 miles south of you, so nature's course may not be quite so damaging there under normal circumstances.

  17. Steve Reed- Yes. We're in an entirely different geographical zone. I'm about to the point where I'm going to let nature take her course too, though.

  18. Glad that Hank is okay. That's scary. It blew a gale here and then got cold but not to freezing on the coast. Thankfully.


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