Monday, February 6, 2012

It's All Just An Excuse To Make Fun Of Mitt Romney. And Talk About Keith Richards

All right. I just watched Madonna's halftime performance via the miracle of the internet. I couldn't be bothered last night. I was running lines.
Anyway, the old gal looks fine and I sure wouldn't complain if I looked half that good. She seemed a little stiff, didn't she? Like- had to push herself up off the floor once or twice. I will say that no one on the planet can writhe/dance on the floor like she can.
The woman has a gift!

Now me. I'm stiff today myself. Garden work will do that. But you know, I'm older than Madonna. How old is she? Get this- I just went to Google and typed in "How old" and before I could finish, I was given about fifteen billion websites telling me that Madonna is 53. I'm 57. I tell you what- I gotta give it to her. I doubt I could walk in those boots she was wearing, much less dance in them.

Still, I think it must be easier to be a man-celebrity. Keith can get away with looking a thousand years old at the age of 68 and we all cheer him but if Madonna dares to look over forty at 53 we tut-tut.

Ain't right, ain't fair but then, Keith never made his bucks because of his looks while Madonna...well. She's not THAT good of a singer. Or songwriter. And don't you talk to me about Keith's Richard's voice. He can sing his songs anyway he wants. And so can Madonna, of course, but as far as I know, she's never once played the intro to Jumpin' Jack Flash.

(Where'd he get that coat? I want that coat.)

So where was I? I don't know. I took a break to go take the trash. Took a break from trash talk to deal with the actual stuff. Somehow, that makes me want to talk about this picture again:

I just love this picture. Old Mitt and the Wifey, doing their laundry. I know this horse has been beat to death but come on! I just want to kick it one more time. He said something really stupid about it like- he and the wife do their own laundry because who else is going to do it? They have to do a month's worth at a time because that's how long they're on the road.

If they did a month's worth of laundry in those machines, they'd be in that basement (I guess it's a basement- it looks like a basement) for three days. Any person in this world who has let his or her laundry pile up for a month knows this is pure-T bullshit. What a crock of shit. Thirty days worth of holy Mormon underwear alone would take at least an entire night to do.

Okay. Enough. Let's let that horse rot in peace.

I'm just wasting time here anyway. I've got a week ahead of me that would make Madonna's pretty head spin. I wonder how much it costs her a month to keep those incredibly beautiful golden locks of hers looking like that? My new hair color cost $5.99. It was on sale at the CVS. I like it pretty much.

All right. Here's one more picture of Keith.

He's not too bad on the floor either, although he doesn't do much writhing. Hard to writhe and play guitar at the same time, I would imagine. He's got a grace all his own, that Keith does.

Thanks, y'all. I was a little anxious this morning but being able to talk about Keith made me feel better. It always does.

It's like a little prayer. No floor-writhing or holy underwear required.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I didn't watch the Superbowl or Madonna but from the pictures I saw, even at 35 I would have a hard time dancing in those boots.

    30 days of laundry my ass! I barely watch or read the news because these people annoy the fuck out of me.

    The sun is shining here in MN...better go soak it up. Happy Monday to you Ms. Moon.

  2. Given that back in the 80's I used to pay over $100 for a cut and basic colour at a snooty salon in my backwoods city. (A rare thing even then and I've learned to economize by colouring my own hair) I'm guessing that with roots and foils and extensions, she's got to be paying a couple thousand at least.

  3. I am hearing about the laundry thing for the first time here. Yes, I am out of the loop but my scheduled time in figuring out what political nit-wits are doing is full in dealing with Canada's politics.
    At any rate I find the whole thing condescending. He does his own laundry? How about he tells us what he does when he can't afford to buy food or what he does when he can't afford needed medication. What can he do when he makes minimum wage and has to work three jobs just to pay the rent? Doing laundry? Give me a fucking break.

  4. I burst out laughing at "holy Mormon underwear." Hhahahaha!

  5. I took my 14 year old daughter to see Madonna (daughter is more than twice that old now) and I think I enjoyed it more than she did. I had no idea what to expect but the show she put on just floored me. It was awesome.

    And that photo of Mitt? Staged, staged, staged. Don't believe for a minute that they do their own laundry and if they do? Why? Spend some of those millions and billions and give somebody a job.

  6. Okay. Secretly admitting that Madonna did look slightly stiff. Otherwise, I love me some Madonna so I won't dog her out much more.

    Mitt does his laundry? 0_0 ---> um, yeah right.

    Random photos of Keith R. Funny!

  7. This wonderful blog post made me laugh out loud. Holy Mormon underwear, Batman! I loved the Madonna halftime show and figure that if she still wants to strut around in outrageous costumes and have a platoon of beefcake-y dudes drag her Cleopatra-esque pleasure barge to center field, she should do whatever the fuck she wants to, because, dammit, she IS Madonna! I am older than Madonna by two years and I give her big props for still being able to command a spectacle such as last night's halftime show. Also, she had MIA on there and I think MIA is hot. Also Nicki Minaj. Those LMFAO dudes - not so much.

    Anyhow, sorry this is rather more incoherent than usual. It is Monday. Oof.

    Love you, Mary Moon, always!

  8. I think I'll skip the Madonna video. Holy Moly, 53?! I might be dyslexic, but isn't that what 35-year-olds used to look like? I'm going to star lying about my age. Tack on 20 years, so people say, "Wow! You look great for 79!!!"

  9. Madonna makes me depressed. Why is it that in the States all bathroom mirrors go down all the way to the floor? Who wants to see a 53 year old body that looks normal, not like Madonna????
    Hrmph.... Gravity did its job and my good looking days are definitely over... ;o))

  10. I just want to thank you for this post, it made me giggle. I love your sense of humor!

  11. God, i love you! You keep it so real.

    Yeah, Madonna looked a little unsteady on the spikes she called heels and I did think she could have gotten away with a cute pair of black leather hipster boots, flat and sturdy, but sister had it going on anyway and the stagecraft was fabulous. I was up in my living room waving my arms singing like a prayer along with my girl and that was fun but i did kind of hold my breath for her at certain moments and dang, i couldnt do a one of those moves she did so you go, girl, i'm impressed.

    as for mitt and wife and laundry. yeah. they don't even know how they reveal themselves, do they. all spin.

    Ms. Moon for President! Keith Richards for vice. LOL

  12. I couldn't take that halftime show of Madonna's. She bugs me.

    Keith never, ever bugs me.

  13. You crack me up (Ha) about the Mitt laundry and holy Mormon drawers. He must wear dirty underwear because 30 days worth is a lot. I wonder if the wife and old Mitt mingle their undies. It's all too much BS for me. Who cares what he does? I am sick of all the lying SOB's and there is so much more of this stuff yet to come.

  14. I love Madonna. Always have and always will. I need to go find that half time show since I haven't seen it yet.


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