Sunday, July 11, 2010

I've Sunk To A New Low

Okay. I peruse the Huffington Post regularly. And yes, sometimes I read the political news or the world news or the spiritual page or the living and style pages and YES! of course I check out the entertainment news. I am a human being, after all.
And usually I just read and look at the pictures and chide myself for being as big a gawker as anyone, but this made me cringe on so many levels. Here's what Gwyneth (the kelp cleanse queen) had to say about the very most difficult thing she's ever done:

"After my first pregnancy, the weight had come off a little bit better but after the second one it was really stubborn. It was really hanging on," she said, according to the Press Association. "It was not easy and, when I started it, it was by far the hardest thing I have ever done - but I really was seeing results so it motivated me to just work through it."

Gwyneth works out two hours a day and lost the baby weight with the help of her celebrity trainer, Tracy Anderson. Still, she says there is no excuse for anyone without the same resources not to get her pre-baby body back.

"Every woman can make time - every woman - and you can do it with your baby in the room," she said. "There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."

Reading these words just really made me realize that:

(a) Ms. Paltrow, as gorgeous as she is and as much as I adored her performance in The Royal Tenenbaums, is obviously clueless as to what women's lives are like. Women who do not have "help," anyway.


(b) If losing baby weight is, without a doubt, the hardest thing she's ever done, she has led a very, very blessed life.

Yeah. This is a cheap shot but honestly- if you're going to say things like that to a member of the media (and this presupposes she did actually say those very words), you're putting yourself out there to be judged on them. As someone who actually tried to do Jane Fonda tapes with a baby in the room- let me just say that I don't care how much I cared. The baby could not have cared less. My working-out was not even on the radar of important for the baby, whereas tittie milk was.

So yes, let me add:

(c) Really? Gwyneth's babies thought her losing the baby weight was important? They must be brilliant! Or at least their nannies must be.


  1. Sigh. I think Gwynneth is prone to make sweeping judgements like that about motherhood. Bless her.

  2. Bitchy PS: Gwynneth, with your White Teeth and your White apron in your artfully messy White Kitchen, you're fooling no one - the White Bowl you're whisking in is Empty.

    This could be a metaphor for your pronouncements about motherhood, darling.

  3. Haha! A blessed life, indeed.

  4. Jo- All I could think was, "Thank god that bowl's empty. If she were actually cooking something her hair would be all in it."

    SJ- Indeed!

  5. Also, how can losing weight be important when you don't have a maid to clean the house, a cook to prepare all your meals, and a nanny to take care of the baby........In my humble opinion, when you're taking care of a newborn, fixing meals, cleaning up the house so it's at least recognizable as a dwelling and not a trash need to rest, if that means sitting on the couch eating chips and drinking soda as you pass out from time to time while watching the evening news, then so be it....You have to do what you have to do to make it through another day.

  6. What a bitch. I say that even though it was easy for me to get my pre-baby body back. I was fat then and I'm fat now. Haha, love you.

  7. Rebecca- Seriously.

    Lily- You crack me up! You're losing weight like crazy now! You're just like Gwyneth! Only, actually you're prettier.

  8. Sigh. As if it's not hard enough being a real mother without being told by celebrity mothers that there really is "no excuse" for not being as perfect as them.

    With my first, the weight took a couple of years to come off. With the second, a month - because I had to run around and do so much stuff. Two hours a day to work out? Indeed - walking backwards and forwards to school, running after another child, doing a million things.

    Sigh. I'm so glad I can now see this is silly and not wasting my energy on - whereas before that would have added another inadequacy nail to my inadequacy coffin.

  9. I am laughing out loud over this post! Every time I have read some "stars" version of losing the baby weight I want to upchuck...they haven't a clue what the REAL women of the world do every day. HA!

    When you mentioned the Jane Fonda tapes..oh yes, I remember doing that at home! Hahahaha! With your description you gave I just had such a good belly (soft belly) laugh!!!!

    Yes, the perspective of issues in life...ho hum Gwyneth...really the woman needs to really look out at the world and what is really going on! Tough stuff...geesh I would love her to walk in my shoes with my mom and see what she would do. Oh she would have therapist in tow to "handle" her emotional impact.

  10. Ahh that sense of entitlement creates amnesia I think for so many. She has lost reality.

  11. Mwa- No shit. I'm glad I could point out the absurdity here.

    Ellen- She'd never do what you're doing. She'd have her "people" to do it. And yet, she would still be going to the therapist. Or he/she would be coming to her.
    Jane Fonda. Jesus. Bless her heart. I hear she's mellowed quite a bit.

    Syd- Again. No shit.

  12. Hee hee love this. She does manage to also find the time to hang out with Madonna, use the same trainer, and probably swap tips on who does the best Botox, etc. on them.

    Did you read some other stuff she said about when she was filming in Nashville and how she loves the fried food but had to really cut back after eating so much of it.

    I think she needs another pint of blood for sure.

  13. And we wonder why women of all ages have such self esteem and self image/body issues.
    Talk about acceptance and happiness without weight and having the perfect body. How we should honor our bodies especially after giving birth and making life. Not make them into something they're not.

  14. i agree with your second and last points and cringed reading that. sigh. i think she used to be more...grounded. i do know from reading a few interviews that she suffered tremendously from the loss of her father to throat cancer. they were very close and he died young.

  15. This is a hilarious post, Ms. Moon, and the comments are just as good. I don't buy anything celebrities say. They have no idea what the real world is like, nor how many responsibilities real women and real parents have. In fact, when I read anything they say, I just roll my eyes and move along to the next article. That is, if I finish reading at all, since, frankly, celebrities bore me.

  16. WHAT!?!

    I look just like that. So does my kitchen.

    But the hardest thing I've ever done is whipping egg whites by hand. I guess Gwyneth has me beat there

  17. Blah! I've never had a baby but Gwyneth can kiss my jiggling ass!!

  18. Them's Emperor's New Eggwhites, Michelle. That's how Gwyneth keeps the weight off.

  19. Ha, I 'crack' myself up.

    The Invisible Eggwhite diet:

    Crack 4 imaginary eggwhites into a bowl. Feed the invisible yokes to your skinny husband.

    Beat vigorously til arms feel beautifully toned and you're too tired to feel hungry...

  20. ah what a silly and empty statement..i, honetsly, dont like her at all...she is a boring and shallow person who flatters back and forth with her opinion in the media...and when i see her fake crying oscarspeech for make sme wanna go uahahahahahhahaah...

    so...thumbs down for miss paltrow-martin

  21. Michele R- Or something.

    Corinne- Exactly. If you have to work THAT hard at something, it's not quite...natural, is it?

    Maggie May- I know. That's what I was thinking about. How could she SAY that? About losing weight being the hardest thing she'd ever done?

    Angie M- But some of them ARE pretty to look at!

    Michelle- I think Jo explains it.

    Mel's Way- Ha!

    Jo- You crack ME up too.

    Danielle- She seems obsessed with "cleanses."

  22. I used to really like her dumb pretentious ass, but I haven't for awhile now.

    Good morning!

  23. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Gwyneth is giving womankind a headache. Shut up, dear.

    You, Ms. Moon, may keep right on talking.


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