So much today and so much emotion. First thing- finding out that Maya Angelou had died.
Here I am in the land of the Maya.
I took my children to see her speak once and how can I even explain the power of that woman that night? The grimace of her face as if imploring angels and dancing with devils at the same time. She was woman in all of her forms and of course I had read her books, knew of the incest that robbed her of her voice, knew of the powers that brought it back, knew of her mother and that fierceness, of her son and that fierceness. She was the most grace-full of people I had ever seen in my life and to this day, she stands as the highest bar in that regard for me.
When Bill Clinton chose her to read a poem of hers at his inauguration, my respect for him went over the rainbow and into the heavens and for that glorious moment, at least, I had such hope.
As I watched the sunset tonight I thought of her, as I had thought of her all day long and I sent up a deep prayer/wish that whatever heaven is, if it is anything at all, that she can choose to participate in any sort of magnificence there is in this universe or any other and was grateful that I was participating in this particular one.
I began to cry this morning when Sergio, our waiter, asked when we were going home and we said, "Tomorrow," and he said, "I will be here to serve you your last breakfast," and I began to weep and he remembered to bring me not only pico de gallo but also the macha sauce for my eggs.
We drove down to the most beautiful of a fantasy of Caribbean beaches ever in this world. Playa Palancar.
We read, we swam. We were stunned with the beauty of it.
We drove back north through the jungle to Playa Corona to have a quick lunch but Rogelio wanted to talk and so we did and oh! the stories I could tell you. He showed us pictures of his father, he talked about making that old man happy in his old age. I cried when I got there, I cried when we left.
"We love you!" I shouted.
"I love you too!" he said.
Then we drove home and took a nap and got up and watched the sunset and went to supper and the restaurant where we went had pictures inside of roosters and roosters and more roosters. I took a picture of the painting above there. It was all a good reminder of what I am going home to which is a fine and lovely place. This time tomorrow I will be there.
When we walked into the Zocaro tonight, the man who sold me my bracelet last night saw us and asked how we were and I said, "Sad. We have to go home tomorrow."
"I know," he said. "Well, have a good evening and have a good time when you go home, too."
It is if the universe is conspiring to give me a gentle re-entry.
Perhaps it is. I discount nothing at this point.
And in news from home, Vergil passed his exam to be a certified architectural engineer (I think) and Jason has been promoted to assistant meat manager at one of Tallahassee's biggest Publix's. If not THE biggest.
And soon, very soon, I will have my grandsons back in my arms and I will give them more kisses than they will want and I will sleep in my very own bed with my very own love and we have had absolutely the best vacation of our lives and I am grateful beyond measure for all of it and for the life of Maya Angelou too and for every damn thing which is of love and pure grace.
Thank you all so much for coming with me on this trip of love and grace and beauty. I keep thinking about what a guy I met on that incredible trip to El Cielo said last week which was that when you leave Cozumel, you just have to remember that you are that much closer to coming back again.
Talk to you tomorrow from somewhere.
Much love...Ms. Moon