Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Wanna Make $6500 A Month From Home?

Yeah, me too but I deleted that e-mail from my spam box. Now I'm sort of wishing I hadn't. I think it was the "wanna" part that triggered my delete response.

The internet is a fabulous thing. On Facebook this morning I was just informed that a woman I met twice and who is now my friend has a God who loves everyone. That's nice. I was also instructed to share a thing about having the best mother in the world but I declined. It simply says (in pink, curly letters) "Share This If You Had The Best Mother In The World."
Technically, couldn't only one group of siblings post this?
(My children, for instance.)

My favorite friend on Facebook is...wait for it!...hold on!...Keith Richards.
I always read his posts and watch his videos. Mostly. And am well aware that he's probably NOT sitting over a computer with a glass of vodka and a Marlboro after his concerts, updating his profile picture.
Someone is, though.
Thanks!

On Huffpost I have been informed about ten thousand times that Amanda Bynes has had plastic surgery.
Who the FUCK is Amanda Bynes? Look, I still get Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears confused. I imagine I always will. I believe one of them may be pregnant. I wouldn't know Justin Bieber if he bit me on the ass. I hope he never bites me on the ass.

Bikini bodies and post-baby bodies are frequently imaged online. Baby bumps are popular too. By the way, as I have said before, I HATE that term. "Baby bump." Ick. People used to have good sense and a modicum of respect and WORSHIP the female belly, swollen with child. Now we just call them baby bumps and post them online and expect the woman to regain her bikini body approximately two days and four hours after delivery. Here's another thing- artificial breasts (which is what breasts with implants in them are) look like nothing whatsoever in nature with the possible exception of the breasts of a three-day postpartum woman whose milk has just come in.
Coincidence?
I think not.

So why do I know all of this bullshit? Because I spend time looking at it online. I don't actually listen to any of the singers whose slammin' bikini bodies are being pictured nor do I watch any of the movies they star in either which makes it all a complete waste of time. The craposity on Facebook is the same. I can only imagine that there are web sites which offer a complete line of images with those sayings which are supposed to inspire me on them but which actually sort of make me want to puke.


Really?
I do not think so.
But now this?


That inspires me. And makes me happy. 

Just got another e-mail. This one's subject line says, "Celebrate Mother's Day With Authentic Mexican Cheese."
I wish. In Mexico. Now there's a dream.

I wonder what I will eat for Mother's Day dinner. We'll be on the road on our way back from Nashville so I don't imagine it will be anything too impressive. Maybe Cracker Barrel if we're lucky. I do love their beans and greens. I remember last year on Mother's Day we were coming home from Dog Island with Jessie and Vergil and we stopped at the Coastal Restaurant in Panacea. It looks like this:


It was awesome. Also, they were handing out samples of some sort of hand cream to the mothers. Can't beat that. All mothers need hand cream. 

Well, I better take this extremely post-baby body for a walk. I've got things to do and places to be. 
Mostly the grocery store.
Where I will not be buying authentic Mexican cheese but IT WILL BE GREAT because I'm going with Lily and the grands. Nothing could make me happier except for making $6500 a month from home. 

Good morning, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon





9 comments:

  1. Hey Mamacita, call me some time today; I am already up but will probably crash in a couple hours.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad not to be on FB. What a bunch of time wasting stuff. It's bad enough that I'm PO'ed because Mark Sanford is going back to Congress. Really? I am agape and I don't mean the Greed word either.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have no fucking idea who Amanda Bynes is either, other than she sounds like a nut.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nevermind $6500 a month from home. I think 60 Minutes should give you Andy Rooney's old spot. Seriously.

    -invisigal

    ReplyDelete
  5. I guess if you can't have a holiday, cheese is a fair compensation.

    Mary, you need an agony aunt gig. How can we get you one of those?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I could use some work from home, too.
    Hey, re the post-baby body, as one older woman to another, have you ever thought about tattooing over your stretch marks? Assuming you have them. Not everyone does. I'm serious. I wanna know.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. Downtown- Did and done. I love you!

    Syd- Man, I know what you mean. Unbelievable!

    SJ- Agreed.

    Invisigal- I already have the eyebrows.

    Jo- Haha! I'd love it. Tell people what they should do. Like I know!

    Denise- I have too many stretch marks for that but I have considered getting the scars from my upcoming precancerous things tattooed over on my face. Or incorporated into tattoos. Probably not a great idea.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Amanda Bynes was a tween star when my kids were youmg so i saw some of her tween movies and now she has grown up sort of messy, and it must be hard to have the world at your feet and then it's all over and you have to figure out the rest of your life.

    Ms. Moon, i can only imagine the roller coaster ride it must be to be a molecule in your brain, talk about a thrill a minute! this stream of consciousness post is just fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love the look of that restaurant. I would love to photograph that place. (And eat there, too!) "God Save the Gulf." Amen!

    I have no idea who Amanda Bynes is either. All that BS about bikini bodies and baby bumps is a product of magazines like US Weekly and the Star. Remember when People used to contain actual journalism? I haven't read it in years but my understanding from interested third parties is that it's full of crap now.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.