Friday, May 3, 2013

Bible Studies And Good News

I was up half the night with legs that wouldn't stop twitching and hips that wouldn't stop hurting and I finally just stayed up for a good long while and read an endless article in a New Yorker about a filmmaker and his co-writer/actor girlfriend and ate two bowls (maybe three) of Honey Nut Cheerios and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
The worm in my brain made me do that. It is a hungry worm, I guess.
Anyway, this morning I can't remember the name of the filmmaker or his co-writer/actor girlfriend although his last name starts with a "B" and her's with a "G". I could go check but I have no interest whatsoever. Also, my stomach is really messed up from the Cheerios and the peanut butter sandwich and the boys are coming soon and it's raining.
The good news is, uh...okay. Hold on. I know I have some....
Hell. I've forgotten what the good news is.

Remember The Good News Bible? I do. Is that thing still around? I lurk at a blog of a woman I know who always writes about God. Her god is a very personal god and he takes a great interest in this woman and he expects A LOT from her and she always fails at living up to those expectations but it's okay because her god sent his son Jesus to save her. This is the general theme of her blog. On her last post she discussed reading the Bible and she is thinking about reading the entire thing. I did that in Jr. High which was pretty ridiculous but hell, it's just a book. That was about the end of any religion for me, reading the Bible, which may sound odd but it's true. You read that whole thing and you'll come away realizing that if a god or God, as some call him, was the divine spirit behind that book, he should go take a class in editing at the very least. Also, that he is mean. Really, really mean.

Well, that's about all I'm up to saying at the moment. I need to gird my loins (that's from the Bible) and go make the bed and get ready for the boys. Lily reported last night this conversation she had had with Owen:
"Oh, Owen. My arms just love to hold you. Do your arms love to hold me?"
"Yes. They do. And my feet just love to step on you."

God had his son and Lily has hers. Actually, she has two sons and why God could only manage to come up with one has always been a question which disturbs me. His "only begotten son," is how the Bible frequently refers to Jesus. I've discussed this before and unlike with the dryer issue, no one has been able to answer that question. And by the way, thanks, y'all for the explanation of the various dryer levels of dryness. Now I know. But quite frankly, if I put clothes in the dryer, I want them to come out dry. Do you think God has a whole bunch of "gotten sons" as opposed to "begotten ones?" Maybe something got lost in the translation.

It's going to be a fun day. I'm already goofy.

It's Friday. Carry on as you feel fit.

Love...Ms. Moon



12 comments:

  1. I read the bible too!...and it got me at the first contradiction.

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  2. Fear IS a motherfucker!
    My dryer has a similar setting. I want that stuff dry.
    I think there's more truth in the Brothers Grimm than there is in the Bible, but that's just my opinion. I like to say I worship at the church of John Lennon, whatever gets you through the night, give peace a chance and nobody told me there'd be days like these. About sums it up for me. :) happy Friday!

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  3. Yeah, I'm with you. that dude is MEAN. why anyone wants to worship him is beyond me. new born babies sinful?! nah.

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  4. In my younger days I was all but forbidden to read the Good News bible because it was not the King James. i struggled trying to read the King James and hated it because I never understood what it meant. Now, I don't read any version. Kind of sad that even the version of bible you are trying to read is frowned upon. My favorite part of the GN was the pictures.

    My daughter really suffers from restless legs and uses tiger balm. It comes in a pump. It reeks but it helps her. I also have restless legs with Periodic Limb Movement and I use tiger balm when they get really bad but the smell is too much for me.

    Enjoy your day, lovely Ms. Moon.

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  5. I don't think of my HP as mean but then it is energy--how can good energy connecting me with those I love be mean? Anyway, the bible has stories. Who knows what was true. I look on it as a kind of biography. And I haven't read it in a long time--once in childhood reading through it and finding it tedious.

    It is going to rain here too and it's chilly today.

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  6. I'm with you on the Bible. There is some serious pathology in those pages. But then, as I told my mom when I was 13 and still believe, patriarchal men wrote the Bible and they really were not perfect channels of anything, much less spirit, instead they had political agendas which changed over time and when it changed they rewrote the BIble adding in and leaving out according to their agendas. It's a storybook at this point. And why they call Jesus the only begotten son, I dont know since in the next breath they say we are all the sons and daughters of God. All that said, I believe in some sort of higher power, too, and I also pray, because I think sending positive thought vibrations out into the ether has power, especially collectively. We are energy, after all. And besides, I am brought to my knees by all the things I can imagine but cannot control, and so I pray, the positive antidote to my negative imaginings. You, dear Mary, might dub them my positive imaginings and that would make me smile. I love you so.

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  7. But you know, the Bible brings my mother comfort and as with everything, I suppose it's all about the lens we are looking through. I am glad she finds comfort, whatever the source.

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  8. My go-to book to explain the bible is "The Cartoon History of the Universe" by Larry Gonick. It may sound strange, but this is where I learned the truth behind many of the bible stories. The one that sticks with me is the Solomon's Judgment. (Solomon(the false mother) was willing to divide Israel(the baby) with civil war unless Adonijah's (the true mother's) family ceded their claim to the throne.)

    I learned more about being a good person from reading Peter Beagle's books than I ever did from any of my religious friends and relations.

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  9. My arms love to hold you and my eyes love to read you, but my feet do not love to step on you. This post cracked me up. Also, my heart loves to love you.

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  10. I only like Ecclesiastes in the Bible, particularly the line about how All is vanity and There is nothing new under the sun. Those are my mantras when I'm feeling particularly grumpy.

    And I love May's comment.

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  11. I've never read the entire Bible straight through -- I should do that one of these days. I think I've pretty much read the whole thing, though, just through my years and years of church and Sunday School attendance as a kid. I still have my Good News Bible, as a matter of fact! I've been hauling that thing around for years!

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  12. turquoisemoon- This is the main problem with reading the Bible.

    heartinhand- Works for me.

    ellenabbott- That's a sticking point, for sure.

    Birdie- Some nights I'd try anything.

    Syd- Tedious except for the hot sex parts.

    Angella- Yep. It's like if you actually THINK about what's in the Bible, a great deal of it is just ridiculous. But there are some lovely parts which, if coupled with a sort of faith, could bring great comfort, I suppose.
    I'm glad it's there for your mother.

    thornblossom- Hello! Nice to meet you. I've never heard of The Cartoon HIstory of the Universe. I should check that out.

    May- And my heart loves to love you too, my darling girl.

    Elizabeth- Those are good parts. I agree.

    Steve Reed- There's a lot in the Bible they do not begin to discuss in Sunday School. Believe me.

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