Friday, October 15, 2010

Yi, Yi, Yi!


Someone is checking books out of the Leon County Library on a card with my number on it. Or something. I keep getting notices that books have been checked out and are overdue. The books are all kids' books.
They have titles like Baby Donald Makes A Snowfriend and Dora's Pirate Adventure.
I have spoken to the librarian and she says they will figure it out.
So far, that hasn't happened.
And yes, I have asked Lily and no, she is not checking out books for Owen on my card. Owen is still quite content to read Fluffy Kitten eighteen times in a row. I do not mind Fluffy Kitten. It has it all- a plot, things to lift and see under, and a soft piece of fake fur to feel in the shape of a kitten.



Plus, it's only four pages long and Owen will hang with it until the end. Then ask for it again.
Yeah. It's a winner, Fluffy Kitten. I highly recommend it.
And I wish the library would figure that shit out because I really don't want to go to library jail over Firefighter Ted.

I recently read a book by a woman named Michelle Huneven. It was called Blame. Like Fluffy Kitten, it had a plot and even though there were no things to lift and see under or fake fur, either, I liked it. I liked it enough to go get another of her books out of the library. This one was called Jamesland and I liked it even better than Blame.
I'm not going to sit here and do a review of these books people. I'm not in the mood. Let me just say that Ms. Huneven is not afraid to tackle some Big Subjects like spirituality, religion, mental illness, accidental murder, etc.
Plus, she's a good writer and she doesn't dilly-dally around, dazzling you with her abilities.
I like her characters.
Read one of her books if you get the chance. Tell me what you think.

I'm also listening to a book on tape which I read a few years ago with my eyes and I am amazed by it once again. It is called About Grace and it's by a man named Anthony Doerr. Mr. Doerr is a completely different sort of author than Ms. Huneven but they have this in common: they are good writers. Also, they are smart. They make you think.

All right. I have done my good deed for the day by telling you about these authors. And Fluffy Kitten. Can I go back to bed now?

No, no. I am not going back to bed.
I am going to tell you that a sort of miracle occurred last night. As we sat down to our supper (ham and corn chowder- it was good), I told Mr. Moon that I was just flat-out in pain. And I was. And after he washed the dishes, he laid me out on the floor and massaged my back with his big strong hands and it was pure heaven. It was better than someone bringing me a glass of ice water. And it was a complete and utter gift- Mr. Moon does not like to massage. At all. It shocked me, it made me feel loved, and it helped with my pain tremendously.
He is...well, he's Mr. Moon and he is one of the reasons I am alive and as well as I am today. And I love that man. And I am here, publicly thanking him for that gift he gave me last night, that loving mitzvah he did for me.
I owe him.
He's out in the woods right now, hunting for a doe. We are almost out of ground venison and Pearl needs a raw deer liver. She is old as Methuselah and we have discovered that raw deer liver is the best tonic for an old animal.
I should eat some myself.
Anyway, I hope he's having a good time out there in this cool morning air and that the bears have not attacked him. He has a trail camera and the film he is getting back shows three bears who like to come in and snuffle around his hunting area. One of them is HUGE and has a big, fat belly that waddles when he walks. Black bears are not known for attacking humans but still- they are large animals and have big teeth and claws. He heard one the other day as he sat in his blind and when it took wind of him and ran away he said it sounded like a horse.
The Adventures of Mr. Moon.
God love that man. I sure do.
I hope he shot a doe with his bow and arrow and if that makes you uncomfortable- I understand but we eat meat and if there's a cleaner, leaner type of meat to eat than wild deer, I have yet to hear about it. Plus, it is a humane way to get your meat. Mr. Moon is a serious hunter and doesn't shoot unless he is sure he can get his deer.

So it's Friday and I can't even haiku. If I did, it would go something like this:



Stupid old gray cat
Lets the chickens eat his food
Pretends not to care


I am going to try and create some order out of the chaos in this house. I am going to clean. I am going to tend to my outside environment in hopes that this helps with my inside environment because honeys- it's getting sticky and cluttered in there. Some people in this condition would perhaps go to the beach and meditate on the beauty of nature or go to an art museum and be inspired there.
Not me.
That might require a bra.
I am going to get out the Fabuloso and white vinegar and clean things and fill up garbage bags and throw things away. Wash the sheets and hang them on the line. Maybe plant the pansies and onions.

Mr. Moon is home. The dogs are going crazy.

Happy Friday, y'all.
Love...Ms. Moon

25 comments:

  1. Did he get a deer? By the way, I enjoyed today's haiku quite a bit.

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  2. I love that Mr Moon hunts for your food and that you give the liver to ol Pearl. That all seems right to me.

    Thanks for the book recommendations.

    Oh I'm burned up about the library problem though. I want to use my powers (as I sit here at my little circulation desk) and make it right. But I have no powers in Tallahasse. Shucks. They are really fucking up there to let such a things happen. Are there other Mary Moon's in town? Someone should not be able to use your card number if you have the card. And if they are looking up the person by their name, they need to see ID and verify they are who their card record says they are.

    Loved the little kitten references.
    Great writing and flow as always, my friend.

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  3. good morning ms. moon...
    i love your haiku photograph, it reminds me of a picture in water color right out of a childhood story book.

    you haiku is fantastic!
    capturing human nature in the lives of our animals...
    animals we love.

    love to you....always.

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  4. If they put you in the slam over Firefighter Ted, I'll spring your ass.

    I love you sweet woman!

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  5. Also, thanks for the book tips, but I think I only have enough mental faculties for Fluffy Kitten. Besides, I like to touch shit. That's how a bitch learns! I used to poke my fingers into the ground hamburger in the grocery store when I was a kid. The Moms once had to purchase a few packets of hamburger because some grouchy bitch caught me. The Moms was SO MAD.

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  6. Ok, it's really rude to hijack someone's library card and make fraudulent check-outs. The least the slimy creep could do is get the books back on time. Cute haiku -- cats can act so nonchalant.

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  7. Thanks for the book recommendations. Our favorite kiddie book still gets read from time to time, Moo Moo Peekaboo, I See You Cow. Lots of cool peekaboo holes to look through. And I too and outraged at the library scandal! Someone is either clever or stupid.
    So glad you got the massage, sometimes that's the perfect remedy for pain. I really really need one, my lower back is in a vise, but my Mr. isn't quite as wonderful this week as yours. Hope Mr. Moon got a good dear. Bears, aack, they make me nervous. But Mr. Moon is very smart and strong.

    Your haiku was perfection. Your Friday plan is the same as mine, get off my butt and desticky and declutter this place so at the end of the day I can say Ah. But lord, I am so tired lately, I feel like I could fall asleep standing up like a horse lately. May this too pass. Happy Friday.

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  8. DTG- Nope. No deer. He saw a bunch, though.
    I thought you'd like that haiku.

    Bethany- The MAIN library lady said she'd take care of this for me. You librarians don't have a magical link to each other? Wow. I thought you did. (Not really.) I'll get it straightened out. I think it's just some glitch in the system.

    rebecca- Love to you always, too, you weaver of words.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- I know you have my back. That is a great comfort. When you come visit, I will read Fluffy to you all you want and you can lift the little flaps. It will be fun.
    Actually, after a few martinis, it will be hysterical!

    Meri- I don't think anyone is really trying to rip me off. I mean- it's not like someone stole my credit information and is using it to buy tequila with. In Mexico. But it's a bit annoying.

    Mel- "Moo Moo Peekaboo, I See You Cow" sounds like a very fine book for Owen to read. I love that title!
    Take a nap, honey! Take a nap!

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  9. Love the haiku and photo.
    And you’ve had your library card cloned? Not many people can say that’s happened to them.

    Have a nice day, Boonie

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  10. That shit sounds great! I LOVE to be read to.

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  11. I love Bethany's library outrage :)

    Seeing black bears is so exciting!

    Godspeed the cleaning effort. I work work worked at correcting last night and this morning, my son was up at 5.30 to give me grief (fell asleep again at 8 and couldn't be woken for playschool til 9.30!) and I am tired and out of energy. I have a wash that's been in the machine for three days... eesh.

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  12. i dont know..everything..every day...if its good or bad at your side of the moon..in the end it falls all into place...sometimes i wish i could borrow you my eyes to see your world through them...

    i enjoyed the haiku too:-)

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  13. Do you think Pearl would share part of that raw deer liver with me? I think I could use a bit, too...

    Mr. Moon sounds like a winner to me. And I'm glad that massage made you feel better.

    I love your haiku, and the picture makes me very happy. Like Rebecca said, it looks like a storybook. And you can tell the cat is pretending not to care!

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  14. I am still reading a book about kittens to my 10 yr old but he will never admit that. Hope you get more deer meat soon!

    Here is your cat speaking back to you:

    If she only knew
    my belly is full of mice
    better than dry food

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  15. I think a library card is better than a credit card but yes, someone needs to find out who is using yours.

    Stories for kids...Ryan was always into truck/car/work books. After the girls it was such a contrast. I honestly thought I would go crazy reading one more book about trucks!

    Glad you got that heavenly massage! Maybe he will do it tonight...

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  16. I am going to see if I can download those titles from my library. \

    I think if more people had to hunt for their meat, they wouldn't be killing the planet eating at McDonald's.

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  17. Massages are great--I give and get them to and from C.

    Deer meat--don't eat meat and could not kill one unless I was lost in the woods and hungry.

    Old dogs--love them and cry when they are gone.

    Cleaning--the maid was just here and we are most grateful. C. gave her about 25 skirts. We don't dress up much now that we are both retired. Actually I never did dress up. Still wearing my jeans and denim/flannel shirts.

    Happy Friday--yes, it is.

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  18. I love it all -- you, Mr. Moon, Owen, Lily, the library, the chickens, the cat, etc. etc.

    I love it all.

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  19. I once had a cat that was intimidated by chickens. He knew when to keep out of their way. Is that really stupidity? I'm just sayin'...

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  20. Boonie- We shall get this library card thing straightened out. Yes! We shall!

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- And I love to read out loud. A match made in heaven. Of course.

    Jo- If we left a wash load for three days it would be mildewed and ruined!

    Danielle- You may borrow my eyes anytime you like. Love you...M

    Leslie- I think the cat has no choice in the matter. Poor thing.

    Michele R- Ha! Perhaps. Although the cat does cry for food when it's time for the chickens to go to bed.

    Ellen- I am just waiting for Owen to fall in love with trucks and cars. It will happen. He already loves wheels.

    Jeannie- Exactly!

    Syd- It would always be a happy Friday for me if a maid came. I would gladly give her ALL my clothes.

    Elizabeth- And we all love you.

    Magical Mystery Teacher- Really? I think cats who do not fuck with chickens are very smart.

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  21. Loved your haiku and the photo and I enjoyed reading your post!

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  22. Thanks for making me laugh this morning. It is cold and wet and still dark out, and I needed that.

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  23. I like your haiku too.

    Mr Moon in his enchanted forest. It's like a fairytale to me. I can't believe there are bears.

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  24. Marilyn- Thanks!

    Joco- What a beautiful site you have!

    Mwa- I sort of can't believe it either, but it's true.

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  25. Marilyn- Thanks!

    Joco- What a beautiful site you have!

    Mwa- I sort of can't believe it either, but it's true.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.