Friday, October 22, 2010

What Is Real And What Is Not



This is what I know about movie-making:
Squat.
This is what I know about acting:
Squat.
I'm serious. My acting career began and ended in high school. Well, then I started being in plays in Monticello and there I met Marcy who introduced me to F.C. Rabbath, mythological film-maker and that was that.
And I was happy as hell with that.

So yesterday, Marcy called me up and asked if I could step in for her at a student-class on cinematography at FSU, doing a little acting. I had a million things to do but what the hell? Marcy was sick and the student needed a warm body and it sounded like fun.
The hard part, it seemed to me, would be finding the building and the parking lot.

Well, that wasn't too hard. I found the place, I had my lines in my hand and the scene was a simple one. One other actor- a young theater student who was playing a dancer, me playing her dance teacher.
There was a sound stage. There were students dressed in camo and in Polo. There was a guy with a Mohawk and one with the most gorgeous nose I've ever seen. There were LIGHTS, there was even one of those clicky boards. There was a teacher who spoke with an accent who obviously knew what he was doing and who said things like, "Don't forget what the heart tells you."
So sure, I fell in love with him. And I just googled him and yeah, he's shot a LOT of movies and TV and things even I recognize.

BUT, oh my god.

No.

I don't think I gave my young director what he wanted at all. We'd do the scene and he'd say, "Okay, that was great, but do you think..."
and then he'd go off in a completely different direction and frankly, I sucked.
Now this is the weird part- whenever he'd give direction to me, he would be right there, out loud. Whenever he gave direction to the beautiful nineteen year old acting/dancing student, he went right up to her and whispered. So there I'd be, three feet away, and I was thinking he was saying, "Look, this woman has no idea what she's doing so you just be beautiful and don't worry about it and we'll get through this somehow."

And for all I know, that IS what he was saying.

Phew. I am not cut out for that.

Freddie, I was unfaithful to you and I am confessing and I didn't really enjoy it and it didn't mean a thing.

But I love Marcy for sending me over there. She is obviously a real actor, as opposed to me who is a fake actor (I don't even play one on TV) and she was so sweet to call me. She keeps pushing me to get involved in the FSU films but I don't think that's what I want to do. I don't have that need. I'd rather sit here and ramble on in blogworld and I'll put down anything if Freddie calls, but I believe my FSU film school career is over and done, bagged and tagged, lying stiff in the morgue of the cold, cold soundstage in Building A at the stadium complex.

So that's what I did yesterday, and the whole while I was thinking about my house and how unready it is for a party and the cake- had to make the cake- and food? What food? And how Owen would be here all day today and oh boy, I just felt guilty. Which of course is my default emotion anyway so nothing new there.

I got home around seven to find that Buster, my dog, had gotten ahold of Shalayla, my hen, and torn up her back. Now this is real. This is heartbreaking. I had just talked to Kathleen and her dear hen Bea had had her head ripped off by some predator and by golly, THIS SUCKS! We love our hens.
Mr. Moon and I went out to the hen house and I gooped up Shalayla's back with antibiotic ointment with golden seal powder mixed in and I don't even want to go out there this morning because I think she may be dead. That poor chicken. It may be time for her to fly to that never-poopy nest in the sky. Let Elvis pick a new hen to molest regularly. I believe she got in with the dogs because she was fleeing his advances and if that's not jumping from the frying pan into the fire, I don't know what is.

Let me tell you- life can be cruel.

Okay. So. That's where I was, what I was doing and instead of staying up all night cleaning I made supper, made a cake, and went to bed. I took one of my few precious stashed Ativans and it did the trick. I calmed right down and slept, as The Tearful Dishwasher said in one of his posts, like a Saint Bernard.

But before I went to bed, Mr. Moon rescued a tiny lizard and here's his picture:

Is that like the cutest thing you've ever seen?
He placed it gently on a plant on the kitchen porch and I hope the little guy made it through the night.

And today is Kathleen's birthday. She is fifty-five today and she will be fifty-six a year from now and that is that. She's going to a new doctor in Thomasville at the brand new Oncology Center there next Thursday and we hear great things about the place and the doctor. He loves a challenge.
Good. Because Kathleen is more full of life than anyone I know and let's keep it that way.
Okay?
Got that?
Some challenges we take on voluntarily, like driving to town and finding a building and a parking lot and dealing with a student director who whispers to the beautiful nineteen year old, and some challenges we receive not of our bidding but we do our best and we (if we are graceful and amazing, like Kathleen and hopefully her doctor) celebrate and shine forth on like candles uncovered in the darkness, suddenly and with brilliant light.

Happy birthday, Kathleen! Your mother must have been so happy the day you were born! She got her daughter! And what a daughter she got.
And what a friend I got when I met you on the set of Casablanca. Who knew we'd end up here in such a short time?
Well. Not me and not you, that's for sure.
But here we are.
Soap and soup and chickens and evil laughs and tears and martinis and tea and sliced cheese and apples and cabbages pounded onstage into cole slaw and snakes and XLERATORS and gardens and costumes and stupid wigs and that damn sweater and chemotherapy and doctors with unpronounceable names and two hearts that found each other, somehow having the keys to the other.

Happy birthday. I love you. And one of the reasons I love you so much is that you are one of those people in whom loving, I have learned to love my own life more.
Because you are in it.

There.

See you tonight. The house ain't clean but my aim is pure. To celebrate you.

Let's keep dancing, okay? There's the path in front of us and let's fill our arms with wildflowers and blue pumpkins and homemade soap and beautiful green eggs and we will carry them all lightly and with regard as we dance down this path.

That's my birthday wish for you.

Do you hear the universe applauding? I do. For you, sweet. For you.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon

17 comments:

  1. Please hug Kathleen and wish her a Happy Birthday and many, MANY, more for me.

    The lizard is adorable. I surely hope Shalayla makes it. Obviously, she is a pretty tough old bird.

    Happy Friday, I love you so!

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  2. Happy birthday to Kathleen and many many more, and how wonderful that you found such a friend, and she did too.

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  3. Happy Birthday to your dear friend Kathleen! She is such an inspiration and you are both so fortunate to have each other.

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  4. Ms. Moon, you are a true friend.

    Happy, Happy Birthday Kathleen!

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  5. Oh, and so sorry about your hen and the acting class at FSU. You are a wonderful actress, Ms. Moon. You just had stage fright.

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  6. Happy Birthday, Kathleen!!
    Happy TGIF Party, Ms Moon!
    Remember that you anniversary trip is just around the corner with it's R&R.
    Love. N2

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  7. Sounds like a chemistry thing with the director to me.

    Happy Birthday Kathleen!

    Keep us updated about Shalayla.

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  8. I came over here on haiku Friday just to say hello, and I'm hoping your chicken is better and not dead this morning, and I love that tiny green lizard (we rescue them from our dog), and I'm wishing a Happy Birthday to your dear, brave, life-affirming friend Kathleen, and Many Happy Returns of the Day to her.

    And you may not have shared a haiku but you shared these words that my heart loves:

    "Let's keep dancing, okay? There's the path in front of us and let's fill our arms with wildflowers and blue pumpkins and homemade soap and beautiful green eggs and we will carry them all lightly and with regard as we dance down this path."

    So thank you.

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  9. Good morning MM, from the little library. Good for you for going to that class, wow. And isn't that so insane, him whispering to her and shouting to you. People don't even realize how obvious they are in their prejudices. Made me laugh though, well and cringe. Damn him. Loved your words to Freddie. So sweet. Yes, stick with him.

    And your tribute to Kathleen is beautiful. you are both so lucky to have each other.

    I am so sorry about the chicken. Kathleen's too. Jeeze. I hope S is okay and if not that she went overnight.

    Love to you magical birthday maker.

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  10. Happy Birthday, Kathleen! Perhaps the Moons can whip up some Buster Stew as part of the celebration???

    wv: unprumpr (is that what blogger thinks of my idea for dinner?)

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  11. What Bethany said... plus yes, still love you, loved the video and music from Last Night...
    hope your hen is OK, have a wonderful time tonight, thanks for all the beautiful words.

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  12. Whoa, poor chikies. I hate when animals do that mean thang... and people too for that matter.

    I'm so glad you did that FSU thing. I keep trying to tell you how fun it is to make movies with the kiddos. (It's nothing like the experience you just described.) And there are plenty of parts for kids of all ages! Our whole fam has done it and I have to say, it really was/is fun. You'd be a natural.

    Hope the party was is smashing and that everyone's hens stay safe and sound.
    xo

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  13. Happy Birthday to Kathleen! Have a wonderful party and eat some cake for me --

    As for the acting and the FSU director guy -- well, I'm rolling my eyes. Young actress -- director -- the cliche is just so booooooooooooooring and something you never are, never were and never will be.

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  14. I am wishing Kathleen a happy B Day. Also, I am glad that she is going to the center in Thomasville. That is good news.

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  15. I hope your party is lovely with dancing and cake and goodness.

    Also? That student director behaved like a turd. If I was his instructor I would have told him as much. If he couldn't get what he wanted, that's his (inexperienced-don't-know-how-to-talk-to-actors) fault, not yours.
    Trust me. I know things.
    xo

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.