Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
What have I done?
For some reason (and good morning, y'all! happy Monday!) I decided to get back on Facebook.
What a fucking mistake.
I wasn't drunk, I wasn't stoned, I just caved to the damn Social Networking Frenzy which has overtaken this world of ours and I forgot why I got OFF of Facebook to begin with which is that every person in this world wants to be your "friend" on Facebook and really, I don't have time for that shit.
I don't have time, do you hear me?!
What have I done?
It seemed like every five minutes someone was asking me if I was on Facebook. And every time I very primly and yes, condescendingly said that no, I was not. I had been but I hated it and I got off. Done. Felt good about it, too.
And then Lily started talking about all the pictures of Owen on her site and her friends' sites and Jessie told me I could go see pictures of her new sweetie and Freddie was putting up pictures of the filming and I wanted to see them and our old friend, Daddy X said that he had tons of pictures up of his darling girl and of course I want to see THEM and all of that is good. All of that is valid.
But then come the friend requests. And okay, no problem. I like friends.
I like REAL friends. People that I may have known briefly in not-real-friend contexts thirty years ago are not actually friends, are they? Do I need to know what they had for dinner? No. Do they need to know what I had for dinner? No.
Do I love my blog with all my heart and the community we have here?
So why, why, WHY did I feel the need to unleash the beast known as Facebook upon myself? Not once but TWICE! I can't even figure that shit out. My wall? My wall? Who writes on a wall? Hell. I don't know. It's Monday morning and I'll feeling all out-of-sorts and I need to take a walk and go get my grandson and go to the library where I will get books on tape.
Yes. Actual cassette tapes.
I might as well go find some stone tablets with stories chiseled into them.
And my telephone isn't working. Oh, it works. You can call out on it but it doesn't ring when someone calls here. Which is sort of peaceful. BUT WHAT IF ONE OF MY KIDS NEEDS ME?
And since I've been writing this, I think I've confirmed four new friends.
It's here for the good, it's here for the bad.
And I just went over to Jessie's sweetie's page and listened to a recording they did a few months ago with Ben Sollee and really- that's not bad. That, in fact, is rather awesome.
Well, I'm a hypocrite and I'm a stupid doody-head and I can't text on my phone and I don't Tweet and I listen to books on tape and it's cooler today and I want to go get in the garden and pull out weeds and plant cabbages and greens and onions and I want to go get my grandson and bring him here and play with him and take him out for a walk in Lloyd and I want to live a peaceful, well-intentioned life and be all mindful and shit and yet, I've joined Facebook (again!) and I can feel parts of my brain matter spread out and splatter on a wall.
We don't need no education.
We have Facebook.
I have submitted, I have surrendered. I have gone and given my soul to the devil and hey!
Wanna be my friend?