Every Molecule Sings

When I went out to get the paper this morning the light in my yard was so amazing that I ran in and grabbed the camera but I can't do it justice.
Freddie picked up my camera yesterday and said, "This is just like mine except, well..."
And then he proceeded to say things like, "The wide angle is all off," and other things that I can't even remember because I had no idea what he was talking about. And then he showed me how to shoot video with it. The picture I posted of me yesterday is one he took with my own camera.
One of these days I'll learn to take advantage of the camera I have.
I feel like there's so much right now that I want to learn. I am a tiny being here, peeking over the edge of the world and catching bright glimpses of things that my heart is pushing me towards. It's....
almost like waking up and going outside and seeing that light pour through the trees and puddle on the ground at my feet. Every place I put my gaze on, I see something new or something lit in a way I'd never noticed. I reach out my hand at night to find my husband beside me and he is there, solid and warm and he says, "I love you," and he does and I love him so much I can't find the words to tell him. My heart feels tender towards him in a way that almost breaks it in half.
He has put up with me and my various insanities for so many years and because of that safe, loving place he has given me, I am not only still alive, I am here.
I tell you this- I feel like one of those people who's wealth is so immense that there is no way to spend it all in one lifetime.
This is not a wealth made up of money but a wealth made up of love and light. I know. It's Monday morning and I'm talking about love and light. I can't help it.

When you wake up and you go outside and you see light shooting through the branches of the old oaks and covering everything you see in gold and silver and illuminating each drop of water from yesterday's rain, each spider web, each leaf and bloom and blade- well, like I told Kathleen in an e-mail this morning- it wasn't like a PROMISE of heaven. It IS heaven. Right here. Right now. In this place.

This place where I live on earth.

And my heart opens and receives it and that is a miracle too. And every day I am here on this earth, I can learn more about how to receive it, how to record it, how to say, "I am here, I was here, this is how it was."

With words, with pictures, with open arms.

I am the luckiest woman in the world to be living in this sort of light, in this sort of love.
I promise you I am.
And I would bow my head and close my eyes in a prayer of gratefulness but if I did that, I might miss something which has been given for me to see and that would be wrong. So I am keeping my eyes open and I am trying not to miss a thing. And I am praying with eyes open and head raised to this day, this life, this unexpected and most profound beauty.