My boy was sick today. He has a cold and it's the sickest he's ever been but it's just a cold and he'll be fine. He seems to be handling the obvious misery fairly well. He sneezes, he coughs, he's full of snot and he's probably running a tiny fever and he has no energy. Poor baby. He'd walk to the stairs and then instead of trying to scamper up them before I could get there, he sat down on the bottom step and waited for me.
He was still in a decent mood. He didn't whine or cry although when we got out of the tub he did sob for a second as if his heart was breaking. But he gave me some gorgeous grins and even a few laughs. I would have been perfectly content to just sit and rock him for hours but he wanted to get down and play and so he did.
He would bring me a book and I'd pull him up on my lap and read about four words and then he'd slide off again as if to say, "No. I thought that would make me feel better but it's not working."
It's so hard when a baby is sick. You can't explain things to them and it just doesn't seem fair. This little cold is a good reminder, though, of just how healthy this little boy has been.
Quite a week this one is and is going to be. Tomorrow Kathleen starts chemo and she does not feel at all well today either. She woke up nauseous and when I talked to her, she sounded awful. She's not doing any scampering today either. We are both hoping she feels better by tomorrow because I have a feeling that if she is sick, they won't give her the chemo. But we shall see. The radiation is over and what she's feeling today is probably its residual effects. I just hate to think of her feeling sick and being alone. She will stay with me tomorrow night.
And then on Thursday, Jason, my son-in-law, is having surgery on his foot. It's a long-needed thing and since he stands all day long, it's a necessary thing. He will get time off and even Lily will get some time to help him. It's going to be a hard week for them but I'm sure he'll be fine and they'll be cozy at home, the little family, while he recovers and the siblings and the Pop-Pop and the Grandmother will help when they need it.
I feel a bit weary this evening. I'm doing laundry (always, always doing laundry) and I've just made a pasta salad for our supper. I've got rehearsal tonight and Mr. Moon will be coming in from Orlando in a few hours. I cheated and bought bread at Costco and also the turkey roll-ups which I should not eat but do, to take to the hospital with us tomorrow. I also got watermelon and pineapple and again- I cheated and paid the Big Bucks for already-cut fruit.
Sometimes you have to take shortcuts where you can and I am learning that.
I may be tired but I'll tell you something- I am not getting all worked up and wondering what-if-what-if-what-if the way I usually do. That course on mindless meditation may actually have helped me in that I am getting better at taking things the way they come and not passing judgment on either the events or how I feel about them and trying just to realize that things will work out. They always do, one way or another. And it's easier if I don't have preconceived notions on how that should go.
Is it possible that at the age of fifty-six I am finally learning how to live in a more serene manner?
I highly doubt it but I'm trying.
And I'll have a great time at rehearsal tonight. I always do. And then tomorrow will be what it is and I'll bring Kathleen home and tuck her into bed and get her whatever she wants and that will make me feel needed and as if I have a purpose in this life and so she'll be doing her part to keep me out the Scientology Church and for that, I thank her with all my heart. I saw another one of those commercials today for that church and they were all, "What does MY life mean?" And so forth.
The way I look at it is that if you have to go find a religion to figure out what your life means then you're not paying attention.
Oooh. I almost ranted there for a moment.
Okay. I'm done. I've drunk my afternoon espresso and I should go wash up the dishes before I head to Monticello. It always helps me to think out loud here. It always does. And I usually start at one place and end at another and it's almost always a better place.
Now. If I could just cure my grandson's little cold and Kathleen's little c, then I really WOULD have accomplished something. The fact is that I can do neither of those things but I can wash sheets and diapers, I can but cut-up pineapple and watermelon, I can make chicken soup if need be.
And that's enough to keep me out of the Church of Scientology.